


In The Dark

by Cloud Walker (FassTDriver), FassTDriver



Series: Fluffly Reylo/Reyben AU [3]
Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst but not too much, Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, House Dadam, House Swolo, Masturbation, Original Characters - Freeform, Prostitution, Reylo - Freeform, Vaginal Sex, alternative universe, mention of rape, my take on pretty woman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2019-11-15 08:42:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 47,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18070136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FassTDriver/pseuds/Cloud%20Walker, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FassTDriver/pseuds/FassTDriver
Summary: Ben is a lonely moody man hardened by life. Could a phonecall and a temporary distraction change his ways?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [En La Oscuridad](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18068357) by [Cloud Walker (FassTDriver)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FassTDriver/pseuds/Cloud%20Walker), [FassTDriver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FassTDriver/pseuds/FassTDriver). 



> Well I just turned our man Ben into Richard Gere only darker cause my brain is twisted. My first attempt to a multi chapter fic in english so I WILL MAKE MISTAKES. Hopefully not too many. Look forward to your comments
> 
> THANKS!!! to my lovely friend @RensKnight18 for the gorgeous moodboard!!!

 

In the Lexington Avenue Department and 22nd Street The darkness reigned. However, a figure moved through the rooms as if he were in broad daylight. He walked from the room to the kitchen and to the living, opened doors and drawers looking for what he needed. He went back to the kitchen and poured a glass of whiskey, then gently shook the glass where the brownish liquid made a sensual little dance.

Then he brought the glass to his nose, that big nose that had earned him all kinds of mockery during his childhood and adolescence, and took a deep inhalation. He admitted to himself that not only his nose was the cause of the desplants and the verbal and physical violence to which his classmates of the school subjected him. He was all weird. His ears protruded notably, which obviously brought him more than a Dumbo joke. His prominent nose, his thick lips, his somewhat elongated and asymmetrical face coupled with his slender, fibrous body and his many-foot-tall height made him a specimen of nothing desired among the girls, and an easy target for the louts.

As time went by and with practices of boxing and Kung Fu, he was able to add to his height the strength and aggression necessary for the louts to move away and his first girlfriend appeared. But not only his muscles worked in his favor, his eyes, brown with honey or greenish tints depending on the lighting, had the depth of his soul sullen and inaccessible, but full of vulnerability and tenderness contained. And his hair, jet black as his piano, a little long to try to cover his ears, he had barely marked waves that provoked envy even among the young women with dreamy manes. He smiled. Then, he inhaled strongly and evidently the scent was to his liking.

He took a sip and let it rest on his tongue a fraction of a second, then made it dance through the cavity of his mouth, tasting it with his eyes closed feeling that for a moment the time was paralyzed, until finally decided that the living room would be a better scenario for his contemplations. He also decided that the best seat would be the stool of his piano. Up there he went, leaned the glass carefully not to stain the bright black cover which graced his old Stainway and slowly, as if it were the woman he loved, stroked the black and white keys. The woman he loved. He thought about her for a moment.

His hands stopped and so did the sweet music of blues that floated in the air of the living room . He lowered his head and from his eyes escaped an almost imperceptible tear, which dried quickly. Never shed a tear for anyone and never would. Or at least that was the lie that he repeated more and more often trying to believe it. The pain, the bitterness, was reflected in his face, while his mind went over the facts that led to his loneliness.

He tried to keep his mind occupied with his music, which he had been fond of since childhood to the point of receiving his bachelor's degree in music from the prestigious Juilliard Academy. His tireless curiosity took him from one subject to another without stopping, and the truth is that he did not want to stop. He did not want to, because when he did, she went back to his thoughts and he hated his traitorous brain, for bringing the images of the painful past that passed through his memories as arrows of suffering. He hated her for abandoning him when he needed her the most and also hated never knowing what became of her.

He shook his head to get rid of his memories. He took the glass and sniffed the brownish liquid and then drank the contents on a single sip. He pursed his nose for the strong liquor and sighed. He rose slowly and went to the kitchen to pour another cup, cursing for remembering that woman who broke his heart. And he also cursed, like all the days that followed it, that damned accident that left him without his wife.

He so wished she had been stronger, to the point of embarking with him, on the path that now life marked him. He would have wished to be stronger himself, to be able to pluck her from his heart when she fled before the adversity that urged him. He would have wanted... so many things! But mostly one. Since that day ten years ago, more than anything else in the world, he wanted death.

But what was the point anymore?. He poured one more drink and drank it immediately, then looked for his cell phone, which had been forgotten in the bedroom, pronounced the contact reference aloud and then found the number that Chase, his co-worker had given him the day before. "These smartphones are really a marvel" he thought as he was heading to the kitchen for another glass of whiskey.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

She was happy. Perhaps seeing her no one would judge her precisely as a woman who had a reason to be so, but she felt happy. Perhaps the most common opinion that people had toward her was the beauty of her. Natural, with an almost angelic and friendly girl's face that was framed by a brown hair that usually she let fly in freedom. She had curious brown eyes and a somewhat large mouth of pink lips and perfect white teeth that showed pride in every smile. Warm, kind, compassionate, she interacted opened heartily to others with frank sincerity, which had cost her more than a disappointment when it was not reciprocated.

She had learned, blow by blow, to protect her feelings, although that did not made her change her natural mood and sympathy. She retained even much of her innocence, which was ironic given the falsehood she observed in the day to day basis, but it was important for her to cling to any glimpse of happiness that could occur. She could not give up and she did not conceived the idea of a grim future, even though life insisted on showing her the opposite.

That day like every other, she had breakfast eating something nutritious as she always did, did outdoor sports and came home to play with her two Maltese dogs, Pyro and Kala, and then showered. The day was beautiful and she opened the curtains of the house to be able to fully appreciate the luminosity and freshness that the day brought with it. As she prepared lunch, she listened to the news on the radio and of course a bit of music. It had to be admitted, the woman had rhythm, and it was noticeable because she accompanied her trips to the refrigerator with very playful little steps and sometimes, even dared to duet with the singer on the radio.

She was certainly happy. And considering the facts that had so far marked her existence, the truth is that no one could tell why it was she felt so much bliss. She lived alone, so the preparation of lunch took her almost a second and she just finished cooking, then prepared the table and sat down to taste what her hands had cooked, always taking care to place the bowls of her pets at her feet so they could accompany her in such a valuable ritual. She poured the freshly squeezed juice, took a sip, and with slow, careful snacks savored her food. That day, for no particular reason she thought of her life so far. Maybe because she wondered sometimes why she was so happy.

She reflected on her family so far away, not in space but in the heart. She loved them but, certainly her family could not see beyond certain events, certain decisions that changed her life radically. Cutting ties with her family, more specifically with her mother and sister, had meant for her not only the loss of moral and affective support but also economic aid. But still she didn't regret her decision. She also thought that, no matter what she made of her life, her mother would never consider it enough and therefore, her sister who was always in the shadow of what the matriarch might say, would not defend her either.

She remembered with pride the day she faced her mother in defense of what she believed with all her heart, was what she should do. She also recalled her mother's furious face and her sister's lack of support, and how they looked at her with such disdain that they made her cry. But she did not undaunted to the facts, but confronted them. She faced life and the world and left her home to never return.

Little did she know of what life would give her and the trials that she should still pass. But she never let the circumstances quench her smile or her hope, and she recognized in herself the tireless and struggling spirit of her beloved father, dead since her adolescence, but who was without doubt her greatest referent. She moved the last pieces of vegetables left on her plate from side to side with some nostalgia. Then smiled once more, as always and after cleaning the table and washing the dishes she began to prepare. She had to get ready to go to work.

She arrived at the old recycled house in her car and like every day greeted the security guard at the door. The manor, located in a very distinguished neighborhood on the outskirts of New York, dated about a hundred years ago, was beautifully decorated and best of all, it was super safe against intruders who wanted to enter or even snoop inside.

Like every day, she greeted her co-workers and went straight to the office on the third floor of the mansion. Knocked and when she was invited to come in she did it with a smile. The woman who was behind the desk, a beautiful lady of natural red hair of about 35 years of age, greeted her amicably and after chatting about issues without relevance, the boss asked:

\- Well, Rey. Ready to start the day?

-Yes, of course Madame Butterfly

\- Great. Mr. Russel awaits you in the Fantasy suite.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey had learned not to analyze things too much. She had learned it the bad way after being hit by life quite often and from earlier in existence than any woman her age. 

Only she knew of her suffering because, in addition to not analyzing it much, she had learned to suffer in silence, because the few people who formed her private circle, never proved to be trustworthy, or respect her feelings. Therefore, she knew that her sorrows were her own, and at the time, she learned to ignore them, to enclose them in a place deep in her being, to be able to get rid of them. To be able to think and above all, to be able to breathe. 

When she said goodbye to Mr. Russel, she kept thinking for a while. She didn't know why, but these last few days she had been remembering many things from her past. Maybe because that day was the aniv... No. She shouldn't have remembered. 

She got up from the chair, put on a robe and came down from the suite to the kitchen of the mansion. There, she met some of the other girls and greeted them with much affection. They had been her family on many more occasions than those who carried her blood. 

She observed them, and wondered why life would lead so young and so beautiful women where they were. Despite knowing the answer perfectly, she was still surprised by the life stories of her collegues. 

Women with real, mental and physical blows, with or without children, in love or disillusioned, but all with a common factor, they were alone. Alone and desperate. Women who saw themselves at a dead end and found in the manor a place where at least, there were many other women in the same situation. They would be confident to be in the same position, and to finally have a roof, food and a possibility of income that had been denied, for different reasons , in other more "correct" circles. 

However, Rey did not feel like all of them. There was something in herself, a spark that ignited an inner fire that the others did not have. She was happy. Happy inspite of it all. 

She did not stop to think too much about her current situation, but nevertheless knew that the big difference was that her co-workers regretted many things in their lifes. She's didn't. And this was not a gesture of arrogance because, she was perfectly aware that she was a human and had made mistakes in more than one occasion, but, unlike the others, she had come there to follow her heart. Believe it or not she was there for love. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

Ben was never one of the most cheerful men of this world, yet he had a good sense of humour. His jokes, though bad, always ended up making his friends laugh, especially Armitage, his friend since they met at Juilliard and more than anything his brother in life. 

It was Armitage who supported him the most, although Ben had managed to have a small group of friends with whom he went out to have fun. But like most things in life, that didn't last. And it did not last, due to fate, and all that it brings. Fate had endeavored to change Ben. But it was a situation, a single one, that caused him to lose that beautiful group of friendships, that today, could serve as balm to his damaged soul. 

That damn accident. That dark, horrible moment he wasn't prepared for. For years, He had wanted to meet a woman who was crazy enough to bear with him, to love him. One day he believed that life had given him that opportunity and although without showing it so much on the surface, he felt the luckiest man on Earth. and the happiest too. 

She was all he had dreamed of and more, because with the patience and infinite love she professed, she had made Ben soften in a way that his friends never believed he would. But it was just a smokescreen. A curtain that faded after the accident, in the hospital, when that idolized woman broke his heart into pieces that never found a way to be glued together again.

Well, she left him, and therefore, he was leaving his joy, his jokes, his vivacity and even his apartment. He left everything behind in the belief that distance would put clarity on his mind. But all he managed to do was abandon everything, and therefore, one by one his friends left him. All but one. Armitage Hux became the only person with whom Ben counted on. He was his family and his friend during the hardest, during the most horrible of his distress. 

He just didn't know why these thoughts were hovering over his head. He had just hung up the phone and was waiting for his next distraction. He knew immediately that if Hux were there with him, he would be lecturing him for the foolish and irresponsible way in which he conducted his life 

Blah blah blah. Ben had already had enough of listening again and again as people were meddling into his decisions without even stopping for a minute to think that the pain and emotional emptiness were sufficient reason to want to be numbed. 

But well, to hell with people and what they thought. What mattered was that he was there, waiting for his next escape board and what the world thought he didn´t cared for. That distraction, that company, would be the novelty, the breath of fresh air he needed to be able to cleanse his mind of memories. And maybe, if he was lucky, that distraction would be a little light in the dark. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

While tasting a loaded coffee, Rey had fun with her friends sharing the different events of the day. The girls were very lively and told funny, mischievous and even daring stories of their respective clients, which always provided for laughter and gossip among them. 

When she finished her coffee, Rey came to the office of Madame Butterfly, to receive her pay and as she had booked only Mr. Russel that day, she just wanted to get her money and change so she could go home. She opened the door, after hearing a gentle "come in" from the other side and saw her boss, who looked at her smiling: 

 

-Mr. Russel was very pleased Rey. 

 

\- "I know my work very well," she said with a mischievous smile. 

 

-I can imagine. Not in vain you are our most requested star. And speaking of that... 

 

-No, no, no. I'm on my way out Butterfly! – Rey protested.

 

-Come on, Rey! What happened to that amazon I hired? 

 

-She's getting too old for these things. That happened! - Rey said with a grimace. She felt sometimes very tired and old even though she had recently turned 25. 

 

-That is not a problem for a woman like Jade - pronounced Butterfly referring to the fictitious name by which she had "baptised" Rey when she began to work with her. 

 

-You will not convince me just by flattering me. 

 

-The customer paid very well... And you know that in your situation you are not to choose. I remind you I'm the only one who wanted to help you when you needed it most. 

 

Rey hated when Butterfly took care to remind her that she was poor and should be thankful to her for all eternity and also to the men who wanted her. She could not help feeling affection for Butterfly, after all, she received her in her home during the hardest years in Rey's life, and gave her a job. 

But even more, Butterfly gave her that love and understanding she never found in her own mother. With Madame she found shelter and food, and they even looked together for the apartment in which she lived. Rey could not help but remember the tears that both shed when she moved from the manor. 

In her heart, Butterfly was even more of a mother than her own mother, even though she was only 10 years older than Rey. And she knew she was the little sister that Butterfly never had. Only before her did she open her heart and knew that the great Madame only confessed her greatest fears and hopes to that friend that life had given her. Rey sighed with some frustration, but in the end she said: 

 

-You better make this guy pay well. What suite is he in? 

 

-None. He's waiting for you at his house. You have the limo at your disposal. 

 

-Well, it's time for Jade to shine. What adress do I tell the driver to take me? 

 

\- Lexington Avenue and 22nd Street. I already gave the driver the info

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who have commented and gave kudos!!!  
> Things are aout to get heave in every way!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> time to get hot!!!

 

Rey knew the driver had the address so she relaxed and sat in the comfortable back seat. She was discreetly dressed as it was part of her job to keep a low profile. Several of her clients, not to say all, were rich and powerful and mostly unhappily married men. She didn't judge them. After all, who was she to judge the moral and the immoral, the right or the wrong?

 

She saw the streets go by and wondered what kind of guy who could afford expensive prostitutes would live in a neighborhood less than a block from the busy Fifth Avenue. If what this man wanted was to go unnoticed, then he had chosen the wrong place to reside. No doubt an eccentric, she thought. Maybe she was wrong, but even if she was, she liked that the guy wasn't presumptuous.

 

Rey laughed at the thought that she liked a man without even seeing him once, but fortunately she would not have to wait too long To meet him. Just when she looked through the limo's window, she saw the sign indicating that they were already on Lexington Avenue and before being able to blink, the driver stopped in front of the client's door.

 

She got off, pulled out of her tiny purse a mirror and fixed her hair and lipstick, took a deep breath and rang the bell. She waited a few seconds but nothing happened. She rang the bell once more, and heard a hoarse, deep voice that shook her, and that from the inside said dryly "Come in! It is open "she obeyed and when she closed the door after herself, she saw a tall, firm and attractive body of a man, with a few days ' beard that only occupied his chin and moustache but still attractive. Very attractive.

 

But there was something that caught her attention and it was his eyes. There was in them an unusual beauty. The man's gaze was riveted on her, but it was something inexpressive and cold for the way she was accustomed to being seen.

 

-Hello, my name...

-Jade - he interrupted

-Yes, exactly. Have we met before?

\- No.

-Ok, I thought that maybe...

-A client of yours recommended you.

-I see. Well babe, since I was recommended, you know that...

\- Shut up.

-Excuse me? – she said surprised

-I don't want you to talk. Just do what I ask.

 

She was perplexed for an instant but immediately reacted.

 

-Ok, just tell me what you want.

\- Come closer.

 

She obeyed and walked up to him, remaining only a few inches away. He lifted his arm and stretched his fingers, making them through Rey's shoulder, gently coming to caress the nape of the neck and then returning gently to the throat. Then he went up again to the nape and from there slipped his fingers through the woman's long hair. She noticed with a smile that he was closing his eyes while stroking her.

 

He continued his exploration, and after touching her hair several times, he put his hand on Rey's neck and slowly fell from the shoulder to the chest and then passed the palm through the space between the breasts and reaching the abdomen, where he changed the position of the hand to be able to draw the contour of the waist. She remained motionless letting him touch her as much as he wanted. She have never experienced anything like this with a client before, but the change didn't displeased her.

 

He remained, for a few seconds, held to her waist and then said "You can call me Ben, but only when I ask you" She did not answer and he did not wait for an answer, only just finished in a single sip the little Scotch left in his glass. Then he left it with some rudeness over the chimney and proceeded to tighten his hands even more over the waist of his companion. He lowered his face a few centimeters to be able to smell Rey's neck and she tilted back her head to make it easier for him.

 

After smelling her, he emitted a sound similar to a grunt, it was something that he could not avoid. Then he dragged down his hands, from the waist to the sides of her hips and knelt slowly. As he went down he rubbed with his nose the space between the breasts, then the abdomen and when he knelt altogether, he moved his hands through the her toned legs while his face was almost at her cunt's height.

 

She drew a deep breath, as that intimate journey was unexpected and sensual. For the first time in many years, a customer surprised her and made her feel uncomfortable with clothes on. But Ben had no intention of giving her time to even think. Sharply, he ordered her to take off the jacket she had put on to which, she obeyed immediately. Without standing up, he stroked a leg, first with his hands and then, he was kissing and nibbling from the thigh to the ankle. She stroked his shoulders and his back while he did the same with the other leg.

 

She was turned on, but he did not give her a truce. The war between them had begun and he was willing to do everything to subdue his opponent. And that's what he did. He pushed her slowly back, until she could not help but sit on the coffee table and when she settled down a little, without a word, he lifted her legs and put his hand on the elastic of the tiny underwear. She almost took off her shoes, but he stopped her. "The stilettos stay" he said, and with no more words he began to lower the black lace panties.

 

First he was smooth and slow, but then he didn't resist it and practically ripped her underwaer off. He moved Rey's legs so that both were comfortable and without thinking twice began to caress her pussy. She sighed and he loved that sound, so he asked her to caress herself too, while he picked up her flavor with his tongue. She stirred and began to breathe with difficulty. She could not hide her ardor when she felt in her cunt her own hand and her lover's tongue at the same time. Everything faded when he sank his fingers into Rey's intimacy.

 

She panted but tried to settled down because she wanted to feel even more the inner caress of his hand. He, absolutely focused on his task, forgot the environment, got comfortable and continued licking, sucking and interspersing a finger or two inside her. After satiating her in that posture, he helped her up, and sat down in the nearest armchair. "Now it will be your legs that make the effort," he said totally excited.

 

He drew her to himself with one hand while with the other he dropped his jeans. He then helped her sit on his lap as he lifted her skirt a little, because he wanted her to be comfortable at the moment of penetration. He sat with his eyes fixed, totally absorbed by her, when she took his penis with her hands and helped him penetrate her. She could not contain the words that arose from her mouth while she, with the force of her nimble thighs, bounced again and again over his masculinity.

 

The ever-serious Mister Solo just disappeared as if by magic giving way to the inner animal, which felt that it's senses were going to burst of heat and sweat. With skillful hands, he undid slowly the buttons of the white shirt that she had on and lowered the bra until he left Rey's breasts fully exposed. He filled his mouth with hard, sweaty nipples, while she never stopped riding her stallion.

 

She screamed on several occasions, while every time, he demanded more. Ben, almost unable to breathe, took her waist with his hands, to push Jade to bounce ever further down and thus introduce his penis deeper, further and stronger, until he felt the impulse and withdrew, bathing the outside of her sex with his elixir of pleasure.

 

Rey was buttoning her shirt and fixing her skirt, when he appeared from the kitchen with a glass of red wine and left it on the table next to her, and then slumbered comfortably on the couch. She looked at the glass of wine and then to him.

 

-Thank you, but I must go now.

-Wait... didn't your Madame tell you?

-Tell me what?

-I paid to have you all weekend.


	4. Chapter 4

 

The phone rang miserably in Madame Butterfly's office. When she answered the phone she heard the angry voice of her Jade.

 

-Are you out of your mind? You're insane if you think I'm going to stay with this guy all weekend.

-Rey please, it's very good money.

-Look, I might be a whore, but I also have a limit. You know perfectly well that I...

-That you cling to a past that will not come back... Yes, I know and it makes me furious

\- Don't meddle

-I get involved, because I know you ruin your life every weekend.

-Stop It! Do not meddle...

-Your old life will never come back. I repeat that you ruin...

-I ruined my life when I met you. What I do in my spare time is my business.

-And what do you gain by going to spend whole afternoons in a graveyard?

 

Rey did not answer. She just felt a knot that squeezed her throat until it didn't let her breathe. However, when she could speak she said gently:

 

\- Nothing. But it's the only way I can.... that I don't feel so alone.

-And don't you think it's better to abandon loneliness with someone?

-And you, the good counselor and wise woman, you're trying to make that someone be a client?

\- And why not?"

-Oh please! Like hell! The person I want to grow old with should love me not just want to fu...-she instinctively lowered her voice. The knot that had occupied her throat persisted and tightened more and more. "I want someone to love me," she said more to herself than to her boss — I want to be more than a body. For once in my life I want to be more than purchased merchandise.

-Rey, listen to me. That man you're with is not only paying well for you, he will also make you forget your sadness for a few hours, a few days even. I hear you say all the time you're happy and yet when you think nobody sees you, you cry. And don't deny it to me. I would have to be stupid to believe the story of the Happy Whore you want to convince half the world to be true. – Butterfly heard the faint sigh that Rey issued through the phone and could not help feeling that her heart was squeezed. Changing the tone of her voice to sound disinterested and cold, because she didn't want Rey to collapse emotionally- The case is that the customer already paid, so now you must stay

 

Rey wanted to complain but before she could, Butterfly had already hung up. She dried with her thumb a solitary tear that had scarcely descended to her left cheek and clenching her teeth with rage, returned to the room from which she had retired to make the phonecall.

 

Her client was waiting there with his glass of wine in his hand and hers sitting on the little coffee table. She tried not to look at him. She didn't want him to notice her irritation, besides, the poor guy wasn't to blame. "Poor fellow" she repeated to herself. If he had to look for company in prostitutes and for a full weekend no less, it meant that he was more alone than she was. She walked slowly to the table, took the glass in her hands and drank all the content. He looked at her fixed for a second until she turned to see him.

 

-Taking courage to be with me for a whole weekend?

\- "No, No..." She said somewhat ashamed

 

He raised his eyebrow incredulously and she turned red. Rey was very sensitive and though she knew she shouldn't form a bond with her clients, this time she couldn't help but care what that man thought at the time. She didn't mean to insinuate with her behavior that being with him would be unbearable. For some reason, oblivious to her conscience, she did not want him to think ill of her.

 

-Why are you blushing? – he asked

-Because I am ashamed. I don't want you to think you're a torture to me. – she looked at him with curiosity – Thank you for noticing my blush. The vast majority of my clients don't even notice my hair color.

-It's nothing. I'll try to remember you as much as I can and while I can.

-What do you mean?

\- Nothing. You'll find out by spending time with me.

 

She just looked at him. He got up and slowly took the glass from her hands and went up to the kitchen again. Rey listened as he made all sorts of noises with dishes and other objects. And she couldn't help laughing when she heard a string of insults and blows from the kitchen. She covered her mouth with her hand to try, unsuccessfully, to hide her smile and from where she sat she cried out:

 

-What happened to you?

\- I burnt my finger- he said slowly

 

That worried her a little bit and so she walked into the kitchen. She never imagined what she would see there.

 

-What is this?

\- Food - said he sucking on the finger he had burned

-I see. What I want to know is what it means

-It means that I didn't have lunch or a snack today and even if it is a little bit late I want to eat, and enough talking.

 

With his hand he beckoned her to sit and then he served the dishes. Placed one in front of her, filled her glass with wine and then his and finally sat down. She didn't move a muscle. To tell the truth, she felt weird and even uncomfortable. Not because she didn't appreciate the gesture, but because she wasn't used to it. He looked at her and warned her that if she did not eat her part he would have both. She smiled.

 

-Forgive me, not that I want to ruin this moment, I really appreciate it...

-Shut up and eat.

\- Look,- she said very earnestly, - Tell me what you're planning. This is so weird. We already had sex... Very good sex and we drank wine but... This is weird. You want to have me here a few days, you want to eat with me. I don't understand what it is...

-I don't want to be alone. - He said, looking down.

\- I understand you,- she said after a while of looking at him in silence.

 

He lifted his gaze which he had riveted upon the plate. They stared at each other's eyes with a special glow and found, that in the eyes of both there was understanding.

 

\- Well,- she said, trying to change the solemnity of the moment — The truth is that this looks tempting.

 

He smiled softly, as she began to eat. After eating quietly they ordered ice cream for dessert and ate it while watching TV in the living room. After going through different channels and not finding anything they liked, they connected the Playstation he had, a gift that pretended to be a joke from Hux but one that Ben greatly appreciated, and played for a long time until he stopped suddenly.

 

-What is it? – she asked

 

He didn't answer. He just left the console on the coffee table and walked slowly towards the bedroom, where he sat on the edge of the bed. She walked towards him and putting her hand on Ben's shoulder, asked once more:

 

-What is it?

\- Nothing. Just....-he fell silent, fearing that his words would pile up in his mouth and despair would make him talk too much. That woman was just a distraction, not a confidante, but even so, his heart that was beating fast was screaming that she would help him, that she was the balm. He shook his head as to deny his own thoughts. He was getting mad and that incipient madness was weakening him. He tried to resume his sanity.

 

-Just what? - She asked gently,

-I just need you to make me forget my life completely. – he said with a sigh

 

She didn't say anything. She just stroked his shoulder gently. This caress caused him to slip his hand until he interweaved it with hers. That woman who without knowing him tried to console him. Who was that selfless, noble creature? He felt that an emotional crippled like him did not deserve the company of a creature as pure as her. Because she hadn't deceived him for a moment.

 

That woman could work as a prostitute and only God knew how many men she would have slept with, but her purity came as direct waves to his center. Her purity was not based on the virginity of her body, but on the nobility she exuded with every action, with every word.

 

She pressed her hand to give him confidence and fortitude and he drew her to himself until she sat on his lap. Gently he tried to bring his lips to hers, but Rey carefully turned away.

 

-Please, don't do it. You know I can't

-Okay. I won't insist – he said almost in a whisper

-Perhaps you can't kiss my lips, but you can take my body as often as you want with your mouth, she said gently.

 

She didn't know where this words came from. She usually did not propose activities to her clients. Her job was to meet the requirements of each one of them and that was it. But now it was different. She wanted more. She didn't know why, but she wanted more from him.

 

Then Jade, the sex and fantasy professional, made the least professional thing of her career, and allowed herself to fulfill her desires. And at that moment what she desired most was that man. She desired him infinitely and wanted to feel him in her body, within it and around it.

 

So she raised her arms and allowed Ben to take her shirt off without unbuttoning it and then the bra. He kissed her chin and from there he went down and touched as much skin as he wanted. And it was not once or twice, but as many times as he wished.

 

She collaborated in every movement and even guided with her own hands those of her lover and taught him to find every erotic point in her body. Neither of them stopped until Ben had known every inch of her skin. Once his manual exploration did not satisfied him, he penetrated her in a thousand ways.

 

At full speed and with the slowness that could drive him crazy, from the front, behind and sideways until he felt his body could explode. He fell back on the wet sheets and with his lover rendered over his broad bosom.

 

She, with her hair wet with sweat, like her whole body, hugged the torso of mister Solo, panting at the same time she tried to catch her breath. She did not know why but, in a moment, she pressed herself strongly against him, seeking to console him and be comforted too.

 

For that very reason, she also kissed that man's chest very carefully. She did it gently and then with greater fervor and he, feeling her so, rendered and worshipping him, pressed her to hold her close beside him until they both calmed down a little. After a few moments of rest, she sat up slightly and watched him. He kept staring at the ceiling of the room. And then she understood everything. She couldn't stop her eyes from going wet. She stroked his face with tremendous tenderness and from the male eyes two sad tears escaped.

 

-Why didn't you tell me? - She asked in a very low voice,

-I didn't want to... I didn't want you to have compassion on me... Nor disgust

-Why did you think that?

-Because it must not be the hottest thing in the world to have sex with a blind man


	5. Chapter 5

 

-Do you want your coffee with cream and sugar or without it?

\- Without. I like it bitter... Like me.

-Ha, ha, ha, very funny. Here – she placed the cup of coffee in his hands – Hey, seriously, why didn't you tell me about your blindness?

-I answered you seriously. It's not the most exciting thing I can say for a woman to want to sleep with me. Nor is it a topic super interesting or that I want to share with anyone. I also don't like to notice the compassion people feel for me when they know I'm a disabled person.

-I don't want to be hard but.... I don't have to want to sleep with a guy to do it. I mean, that's what I get paid for. So, you could have told me and you would have had sex with me all the same.

-Yeah I know, but... since when do you want your customers to tell you their lives before you wallow with them? - He tried to go back to his hard ways, that woman was asking too much

\- Since they have something interesting to tell me,- she said amusingly.

-And what do you have of interest that you can tell me?

\- Nothing.

\- Ah Yes! The whore that has nothing interesting to say. Yes, right.- He said, with a grimace on his lips, which denoted his disbelief.

-I tell you, nothing. Nothing at all--she said trying to be firm

-Ok, I understand.

-You understand what?

-That you don't trust me and that's why you don't tell me. But well, never mind, I'll swallow the carefree girl's story.

\- I didn't say I was carefree - she said sadly - I just said it wasn't interesting. Beyond my work I am a woman like any other woman, common and simple nothing more.

-I'm blind, not stupid

-What do you mean?

-I mean no woman, no matter how open-minded she is, gets into prostitution because it's just fun. I don't believe you dreamed of this as your ideal career since childhood. Something happened in your life...

-I've gone through things ..... things happen to everybody-- she interrupted harshly

-Not all things of life, however bitter they are, lead to sell sex for a living

-And not all blind people know how to hide their blindness so well

-What do you mean by that?

-That when I first saw you I didn't realize you were blind. That's hard to achieve and yet for you it's almost spontaneous

-And what does that have to do with anything?

\- It is something interesting and you didn't tell me. You're good at pretending. I think you pretend all the time.

-Why do you care why I'm blind? - he said, irritated

-Why do you care why I'm a whore? – she snapped in the same tone

-Stubborn woman!

-Unbearable jerk!

-Whore!

-Blind loser!

 

They were silent for a while. They just sat still, sitting in the living-room couch, each holding their coffee cups. She looked at him carefully, appreciating that exotic and masculine beauty that he conveyed. Every so often she diverted her gaze to appreciate the apartment and noted with pleasure that the decoration was echoed by the owner.

 

Sobriety and elegance mixed with hardness and rusticity. Dark woods, sober colours, attractive smells. and musicality on every corner. Music sheets, instruments, vinyl records by the heaps and old posters of Jazz and blues singers. That apartment was like him, dark and sober, but full of art and melancholy if one knew how to observe. When Ben finished his coffee he said as if nothing happened:

 

\- Well, now that each of us got what we had to say out of the way, I think it's a good time to fuck.

 

She looked at him with a blank face and making a little grimace with her mouth said:

 

-Ok

 

She rose from her seat, took him by the hand making him stand up and guided him to the bedroom. Once there, she placed his manly, large hands on her thin waist. He tried to raise the hem of the t-shirt but she prevented it.

 

\- Hey, it's my shirt you have on - he said, in a complaining tone

-I know. But now I will give the orders - she said firmly.

 

He didn't say anything else. The truth is that he did not dislike the idea that she was the one to take the rhythm this time, so he was submissive waiting for the directives of who, at that moment, was his owner. She, for her part, did not delay in letting him know her desires. The first thing she wanted was to see him naked, and she said it bluntly. He obeyed delighted. When he found himself utterly stripped of his attire he heard an expression that clearly indicated what she was experiencing at the time.

 

He smiled proud to know that she found him exciting, but changed his smile by an expression of desire and passion when he felt the woman's hands slipping with impertinence through his body. Without shyness and without asking permission Rey had initiated an erotic exploration by his body and he reacted as any man would have done.

 

His breathing was stirred as he felt the curious feminin hands in different latitudes of his anatomy, but allowed the woman to travel all over his landscape at ease, while proving that she also stirred more and more with each part of his body she discovered. Rey, unable to stop her hands that seemed to have their own life, advanced southward.

 

He issued a moan born from his pleasure, while she alternated her hands to masturbate him. Rey enjoyed it so much that she did not hesitate to kneel down to continue the session with her mouth. Ben tried to place his legs so they didn't shivered and reaffirmed the work of the woman by taking her hair in his hand, helping her to deepen each movement.

 

After a long time of this exercise both she and he needed more, so without any softness, Rey pushed the man she wanted to the bed and without a word placed his erection between her legs. She used the strength of her smooth thighs to climb up and down the masculinity of her man, while he helped with strong impulses from his hip while squeezing tightly between his hands the sweaty breasts of his partner.

 

She placed her hands on her lover's and held them for an instant, cradled in her breasts, but then accompanied them further and further down, until she managed to get Ben's hands to play with her biggest erotic center. He moaned again, with that sound that seems to be born from the bowels of passion, but he did not surrender. It was a magical moment in which not only he penetrated her with his sex, but also with his hands, and the magic was completed with the orgasm of that sensual woman who quivered with each caress.

 

But for Ben it was still not enough, and while he knew that she was in control, he manipulated her body until she surrendered to the inevitable. Then he pushed her until he placed her on her knees on the bed and with her legs separated, in total ecstasy, he re-entered, his body into hers until they both let the pleasure run in liquid form between their bodies.

 

Ben fell down on Jade's back. Both bathed in sweat and trying to capture the breath, they were ecstatic, tired and above all happy. Those dark and eternal moments together made them tremendously happy, though neither of them had yet the strength to recognize it.

 

In those last moments when they felt, one in the arms of the other, Rey turned to be face to face with her client. With her lover. She looked at him and though she knew he could not see her, she looked deeply into his eyes. And after kissing his forehead, she settled it on her chest. He pressed himself to her and after staying a few moments like this, said:

 

\- I have bad news

\- What is it?

\- Tomorrow is Monday.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this one!! Next update will be on saturday 23rd

 

Emptyness. It was the first feeling his body had to endure. And the truth is that he did not know how to manage, because only once in his 35 years of life he had that feeling and it was after a terrible moment changed his entire existence. He sat in the piano chair and tried not to think, just to have a cold head and a blank mind.

 

He settled down and a sad melody flowed from the instrument while he gently patted the ivory keys. He thought of his work, then laughed mentally at the frivolity and whims of some of his clients, mostly Hollywood producers for whom he composed the music that adorned his films. He though of Hux and Chase... Until he remembered her.

 

He shook his head, angry with himself. The memories of the woman who abandoned him arose again... The one that destroyed his life. But also arose the thoughts of that woman of whom he didn't know the name, only the one the escort agency gave him. She was really like Jade, a precious stone... But she was also a cold stone and a calculating one according to him.

 

Why? Because she only had sex with him thinking that he would mean good money for her, he as a man did not count. "Stupid!" He said to himself. Why did he care what an unknown prostitute thought of him! He played the piano again trying that this time, the melody was something more cheerful to clear his mind.

 

He played that song that always managed to put him in a better mood, a song that his piano teacher never wanted to teach him, but that he had learned and enjoyed in spite of everything and everyone. He smiled and waved his leg to the beat with energy and enthusiasm. But like everything, the song ended and he went back to his bitter thoughts and this time he could not help but return to the bitterest of them all.

 

* * 10 years before * *

 

Blood. He only remembered blood and twisted irons. He touched his head and felt a hot, thick liquid coming out of it. He tried to see around him and only at times, when the blood did not tarnish his eyes, he caught sight of the body of a woman wounded by his side. He tried to touch her to know if she was alive, but the pain of his head didn't allow him to move , not even to raise his arms. He tried to concentrate on the sounds, but it was very difficult. He just thought that in the distance he could hear things, sirens sounded and there was people shouting, but he couldn't be sure. Blood. He could only see blood.

 

****

 

He tried to forget those scenes. The people and memories of his past no longer mattered, because they simply no longer existed. His experiences, especially the bad ones, had made him who he was today: the most prominent musician and composer in Hollywood, perhaps the most important in the world in his generation. With fame, money, and an incredible reputation.

 

Of course he could not deny that among the adjectives that formed his reputation were also: miserable, bitter, disrespectful, abrasive and so many more than among his former clients, studios and producers and some co-workers had given him. Ex-Clients. Even they had to leave them, and although to be honest he was never too affectionate to deal with them, sometimes he missed having to be patient with some madman who came to the office looking for scores or arrangements for an inconsequential film, or a big budget one but with no real content.

 

However, among the things that were snatched from him by fate, were his horrible and nightmarish customers... Which he missed even if he didn't admit it. But well, he thought, life is as it is and nothing could be done to change his past or his personality. Even if he wanted to. The point was, that every time he let that barrier that stood against the world went down, he had been disillusioned and wounded.

 

And so he refused to let it happen again, no matter who tried, he would never let anyone approach him. He recalled the words and advice that Hux had given him over and over again: "Try it Yourself", "What happened to you once doesn't mean it's going to happen again" "Open your heart, you're too young to shut down and spend the rest of your life alone." He smiled sadly, because he appreciated his friend and knew that his words came from affection, but he knew perfectly that his heart had closed forever and for all.

 

He went to the kitchen, and once more he looked for what "comforted" him. He poured a glass and took it fin one sip, then he poured himself another one and let the Scotch stand for a moment inside the glass, while he raised his head to the ceiling, rummaging in his brain for a pleasant thought that at least gave him a smile and some meaning to the fact of getting out of bed that morning.

 

He sought and did not find, only found in his mind the same feelings and thoughts that beset him day after day. He again sipped the brownish fluid at once, while the images crowdeded in his temples one after another mercilessly.

 

****

The headache was almost unbearable even to understand his own thoughts. He fainted a few times and then regained consciousness. In that little second of consciousness he heard a cry and a moan. If his ears did not deceive him it was the woman who lamented, but he could not be sure. God, his head hurted so bad! He fainted again. When he came to himself, he heard a cry again, and this time every fiber of his being could distinguish who was crying. He achieved a little more lucidity even though the blood kept flowing from his head and flooded his eyes. He tried to move and slowly managed, with his eyes closed and swollen with pain, to crawl down the iron surface, which tore his clothes and hurt his hands. The weeping sounded closer

****

 

He couldn't help it. A painful tear ran down his cheek. He dried it quickly, because although no one was there to see it, Ben never allowed anyone to see him cry, not even the ghosts of his loneliness and pain. He went up to the closet near the living room, opened a drawer and extracted a photo, pressed it long and hard against his chest, until he gently lowered it and let it rest once more inside the drawer. He went once more to his room, took off his clothes and laid down.

 

No, it was definitely not a good idea to get up. He tried to sleep, but he couldn't. Without getting out of bed he took a remote control that was on the bedside table and turned on the radio. The dial gave a thousand laps but he couldn't find any songs he liked. He changed the radio mode to CD and began to play the compact he liked the most, which he always chose.

 

He chose the second track to play and when the melody started, he closed his eyes tightly. He loved it. He rummaged through his memory to the exact moment he heard that song. He had just finished high school and with great determination he knew that his career was in music. He had applied to Juilliard but they had rejected him, so he applied to his second option, the Instituto Superior de Arte at the Colón Theatre in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

 

It was the other end of the world, but he was not afraid and he wanted to be a musician and artist with passion, besides he wanted to study Spanish. Plus, it didn't hurt to get away from his father with whom the relationship was always stormy to say the least. When he graduated, he went clubbing with his friends and classmates and there, dancing slow with a hot argentine girl, he heard the song that got stuck in his mind and heart in a way the cute argentine girl couldn't.

 

When he returned to New York, with the cheerful news that his second application to Juilliards had been accepted, he said goodbye with eternal affection to his Argentinian friends and asked them to get the CD of the band he had loved so much. They did more than tha,t and they put together a CD with all the music that had accompanied them during their years in the country of the tango, of Borges and of that wide, murky and tame river that he loved and to which he hoped to return one day.

 

With his hoarse voice he began to sing along with the stereo:

 

I feel the warmth of all your skin

In my body again.

Shooting Star, light my thirst,

Mysterious woman.

With your sensual love, you give me so much.

Make my dream come true.

Give me your soul today, do the ritual.

Take me to the world where I can dream.

Uhh...! I need to know if it's true

You're somewhere.

I'm going to look for a signal, a song.

Uhh...! I need to know if it's true

You're somewhere.

Only the love you give me will help me.

At dawn your image is gone,

Mysterious woman.

You left in me total lust,

Beautiful and sensual.

Heart without God, give me a place.

In that warm, almost unreal world.

I'll have to look for a signal,

In that path you're taking.

Uhh...! I need to know if it's true

You're somewhere.

I'm going to look for a signal, a song.

Uhh...! I need to know if it's true

You're somewhere.

Only the love you give me will help me.

Your presence marked in my life the love I know 

  
It's hard to think of living without You 

Heart without God, give me a place.

In that warm, almost unreal world.

I'll have to look for a signal,

In that path you're taking.

Uhh...! I need to know if it's true

You're somewhere.

I'm going to look for a signal, a song.

Uhh...! I need to know if it's true

You're somewhere.

Only the love you give me will help me.

 

He stopped suddenly assaulted by a thought and stood lying down, very still with his face tense and his eyes wide open. At the end of the song, he really understood the meaning. Without even thinking he picked up the phone and dialed a number.

 

Link to the song: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTVTG6BxCYg>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I brought Ben to my country!!!! Lol!! The Amazing song has 2 versions, I used the acustic one but there's a more rock style one. Contact me if you want the link to that one. This song inspired this entire fic so I hope you love it as much as I do


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get tricky ;-)

 

She couldn't believe It. She Just couldn't believe it. That guy had called the agency again and the truth was that, far from making her feel flattered, that worried her. She panicked, this guy was investing a lot of money and a lot of time on her. In the agency of Madame Butterfly there were many very beautiful companions that would certainly serve his purposes better.

 

Yes, sure, she realized that the gentlemen in question was a very good payer and also very passionate, and although her job wasn't about enjoying the task, she realized that she had not been able to avoid the pleasure to be in his arms.

 

Not that she was ungrateful but something inside of her fluttered every time that man appeared in her thoughts. Because she was not going to lie, she had thought of him constantly since she met him. And so, Rey was afraid, because she couldn't afford the feelings and even less for a client. That was the number one rule in her work line.

 

So when her boss informed her that she should go back, she refused. Or at least she tried, because while Butterfly was a most adorable boss, she could also be tough with her. Mean even. To be honest, she didn't understand what was happening, but the truth was that she was once again climbed to the limo on her way to the intersection of Lexington Avenue and 22nd Street.

 

Like the previous occasion, she waited for him to open the door, while she repeated mentally that she should maintain a professional emotional distance and then retire immediately, without engaging in conversations that could decant into intimate confessions and become sentimental. When Ben opened , Rey felt as all her self-advice and resolutions were diluteded as if by magic.

 

He had only a robe on and was barefoot with his hair scrambled and she knew that man took her breath away just by looking at him. Rey smiled at his appearance, took the hand he offered and entered the apartment. Once inside, he invited her to take a seat and asked if she wanted a coffee, which she accepted in good spirit, even if she admitted to herself that coffee was not the best drink for her trembling legs

 

She was nervous and felt stupid, because never a client had put her in this mess of emotions. Maybe It was because she didn't see him just as a client anymore. She shook her head, as if that movement were a trick of magic that would obliterate her confusion. When he came back from the kitchen with the coffee she got up to receive her cup and then went back to sit where she was.

 

He, on the other hand, sat in the armchair in front of her. Both remained silent for a long time. She honestly didn't know what to say, nor how to begin the conversation. That same conversation that had promised herself not to have, as it led to situations of intimacy and unwanted confessions. He kept quiet because he didn't want to say anything. Or at least, so it seemed to her, therefore she merely took her coffee and watched it quietly.

 

When she finished her coffee, Rey left the cup on the table and tapped her fingers nervously on her knees due to the uncomfortable silence. He, in opposition, seemed to be totally calm and tasted his coffee without any rush to emit sound. Seeing that Ben didn't take the initiative, she decided to do it

 

\- Sooooo..... How have you been?

 

He just lifted his gaze from the cup for a second, and then lowered It again. He Finished his drink with all the patience of the world and just answered

 

-I'm well

-Any News? – She felt ridiculous trying to make conversation with a client.

\- All quiet - he said, unable to avoid the smile

-Sorry to be so direct but... It caught my attention that you asked to see me again. I mean, I have regular clients but they never called me to share a moment beyond... Well... beyond sex. You instead....... you want to spend a whole weekend with me, have coffee... Well, I just don't know what to think really.

-I Just need a distraction

-Really? Is that it? I feel that...

-Do you always think about irrelevant things so much? -Interrupted

-You can't deny that this situation in unusual, to say the least.

-I told you... I just need to distract myself

-Distract you from what?

 

He hesitated. He didn't know whether to answer the question or not. He doubted because he knew that the curiosity of the people took them to question more and more, and did not know if he was willing to tell the details of his life to a stranger. A prostitute. But he also realized that it was he who fanned the curiosity in the woman, and also, in the depths of his being he felt the need to vent the contents of his thoughts with someone.

 

For some reason that he still didn't knew, that woman inspired him confidence, which was not easy to achieve, because in most of the opportunities, Ben Solo acted as a repellent of people. Especially those who were more likely to have a glimpse of his soul. Maybe that's exactly what he had to change if he wanted to be happy. Maybe that's why he answered.

 

-I Need to distract myself.

-Of yourself?

-Of my life, of my thoughts.

-And your blindness, right? - Rey said intuitively.

-Yes, exactly.

-I think you shouldn't try to forget that you are blind, but to do the best you can knowing that you are blind.

-Beautiful words, however, useless. Just Like me.

-You are not useless, you could not have lived alone if you were useless. What's more, I think what bothers you is not the blindness itself.

-What do you mean?

-I mean you're not telling me the whole story. There's something, deep down, you don't tell me.

-No, it's just the blindness.

-Come on! I've seen how you get around, how you act, and how you are. Your blindness keeps you from almost nothing. It's something else in your life that makes you invalid.

 

She tried to put her hand on Ben's arm, but he prevented it by grabbing her wrist tight. She looked at him perplexed while he gently released her.

 

-How is it that...

-My vision comes and goes. I mean, by day I see shadows and lights, like ghosts that haunt me, and when night comes everything is darkness. The absolute Darkness.

 

She looked at him. She wasn't angry, just surprised. She raised her hand very slowly, as if she should be careful not to frighten him, and gently posed it on Ben's cheek, where an incipient beard manifested itself. She stroked him for a moment.

 

She, who at first was restless and somewhat uncomfortable now seemed to be totally at peace. That man, her client, was giving her an unusual tenderness and warmth. The caresses made him feel a little more relaxed and they both sat on the couch. That peace and that relaxation made the thoughts clutter incessantly in his mind, and as they were flowing he expressed with words the images that were returning to his brain.

 

******

 

The crying grew stronger and closer. He tried to get closer but it was so difficult so painful that sometimes his own body denied answers and surrendered in a faint. Upon waking from one of them, he could no longer hear the crying.

He tried to look around but could not, his vision was blurred and when he managed to clarify it, the blood clouded his sight red. He raised his hand and tried to wipe his eyes. He saw the feet of someone who wore huge rubber boots and when he tried to focus he saw whom he identified as a firefighter who leaned over him and asked him questions he didn't understand at first.

The sounds were unintelligible, probably due to the blow on his head. When he could clear himself more he only understood half, something about whether he was okay and all that. Ben chewed some words to answer, but monosyllables almost incoherent arose from his lips. The firefighter tried to reassure him, while other uniformed bodies cut the irons that had him imprisoned.

He felt he fainted once or twice. Trying to emit a few clearer words he managed to ask for the woman who was traveling beside him. The fireman replied that she was injured but had been taken to the hospital with good prognosis. He breathed, and in doing so he felt a great pain and fainted again

 

******

 

\- When I woke up I was in the hospital,- said Ben, who had leaned back on the couch, as he closed his eyes tightly.

 

Rey remained silent sitting beside him, while holding his hand giving him courage to tell the whole story.

 

\- When I regained consciousness I discovered I had lost my vision - a tear ran down his face.

-Calm down! - Rey said softly - Think it could have been even worst, you could have lost your life, or you could have lost a loved one.

\- And I did - he said bitterly.

-Was the woman a loved one for you? - she asked, feeling a pang of jealousy

\- Yes. She was my wife.

 

Rey felt her chest burn. She tried to recompose.

 

-But... Didn't the fireman say that the woman you were traveling with was fine?

-She was.... but my son wasn't


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are now transitioning into darker spaces! Some new revelations.... but many more secrets ;-)

They were still holding hands. She actually took his hand tightly between hers. She pressed it and held it by her chest, telling herself that she was consoling him. But Judging from the sight of the moment, she was the one who needed consolation. 

 

She had heard the story quietly and without noticing, she even had tears running down her cheeks and had held that manly hand in her own, as if she needed to hold on to something more powerful than what she heard. She needed to feel something or someone was holding her to the world. 

 

Ben noticed the alteration in the woman by the way she squeezed his fingers, so he changed his possition on the couch to face her. He tried to see her with the little light that still remained of the day and managed to distinguish a face almost phantasmagoric, but still divine with the beauty it exuded 

 

During the previous meetings he had learned that the body that accompanied that face was equally delicate and sensual. He could swear that this woman, if she wanted to, would have been able to drive any guy crazy to the point where he married her. Also and without fear of mistaken, he could swear that this woman could have accomplished much more in life than being a prostitute. 

 

-What do you want to know? She said suddenly, 

-I Just thought ....

\- What? 

-I was trying to imagine what could've happen to you, that you had to choose this life.

-Life... Life has many laps and turns, and not all are good 

-And some turns lead you to make mistakes 

-Yes, exactly 

-And what was your mistake? 

\- Trusting someone - she said, letting go of his hand. 

 

He felt strange when he perceived his empty hand, but still didn't say anything. With unusual tact, he tried not to push her, because he knew he wouldn't get her to say anything else. He sat there and left her free to do whatever she wanted. 

 

She rose from the couch and began to walk around the room, as if going from one side to the other, in a repetitive motion, managed to appease her nervousness even a little. A few minutes went by, during which she continued to walk from here to there and he proceeded to turn on the lights of the entrance of the apartment because it was already getting dark. 

 

He then, lit the fireplace, as the cold season was starting. She observed the merry chirp of the fire consuming the wooden twigs with her eyes fixed. 

 

\- It's Beautiful - she said gently 

\- What is? 

\- The fireplace, the heat, everything. It's beautiful 

-Yes, it is 

-It reminds me a lot of my childhood 

-Why? 

-Dad and I used to sit next to the fireplace to play 

-What games you liked to play? 

-Well, all sorts of things really. But our favorite game was Indians and Cowboys. Of course, I always chose to be an Indian and dad was the cowboy, and obviously, he always let me win in everything, so hopelessly, he ended up tied up in front of the bonfire, which was the fireplace obviously, ready to lose his scalp at the hands of the enemy 

 

Ben just smiled slightly, almost as if he could imagine the tender scene, but did not interrupt, even to ask a question because he knew that any intervention could cut the confidences. He Just listened. 

 

\- Those were happy times. From then on everything to me would be horrible. When you are a child you see the rosy world, and as you grow you realize your mistake and suffer. In my case, the worst thing was to realize that the people I loved, never loved me sincerely. My mother, for instance. She always argues that she loves me in her own way, but deep down I think she was just trying to put up with me... that was until she couldn't stand me anymore. When I gave her the first excuse, she took the time to prove to me that her affection was non existent. 

\- What excuse did you give her? - Ben asked, and immediately wish he had bitten his tongue. 

\- Let's say that... I made mistakes like every person in teir lifes has and my mother couldn't accept it. 

\- What mistakes? 

\- They don't matter anymore. 

\- Ok, but tell me something you haven't. 

\- What's that? 

\- Your name. 

\- You know it. It's Jade 

\- That's not your name. 

\- It is for you - she said sharply. 

 

Ben was not disturbed by the way she answered him. More than anything he understood it, because if he were in her place he would have responded the same way... Or worse. Ben moved a little closer to her and tried to keep talking, because that also calmed his nerves and prevented him from thinking about things he didn't want to think about. 

 

\- Well, what do we do now? Coffee, Brandy, Scotch? 

\- Sex - she said naturally 

\- Mmm... I think I have no more bottles of that - he said humorously 

\- It Doesn't matter - she said, - I have plenty of it and you can take all you want 

 

He stretched out his hand from the couch where he had been sitting. She took it, but when Ben gave her a little tug to bring her closer to him, she opposed resistance and said: 

 

-No, not in the couch 

-Where then? 

\- Here - she said, stepping back a little without releasing his hand — On the rug In front of the fireplace. 

 

He liked the idea, so he allowed her to help him get up and walked a few steps clinging to her hand. She lured him to where she stood, right in front of the fire and on a fine rug with beautiful drawings. Without any prior warning, she introduced a hand through the opening of the robe that covered Ben's body. 

 

He gasped at the intrusion of the female hand and she took advantage of this gesture of approval to keep touching him, while he hugged her against himself. Upon reaching her back, he began to lower the zipper of the tight red dress she was wearing. He took his time to do it because he also wanted her to entertain herself with his crotch a little more... Much more. 

 

And she evidently wanted it as well, as her naughty hands left no inch uncovered. But her hands became wild and she decided it was time for her mouth to leave no gaps between their anatomy. He took her hair in a passionate movement and compelled her to work in depth. 

 

She obeyed and at the same time, took her hands to Ben's beautiful buttocks, where she sank her fingers over and over again, melting with caresses that bathed the smooth and soft flesh of the his thighs and again to the buttocks. After satisfying each other this way for some time, he helped her up and without releasing her hair, passed the other hand through her neck and forced her to look at him face to face: 

 

\- You will not escape this time - he said. 

 

It was the only warning he gave her before he kissed her deeply. They remained like this, stuck together without leaving spaces between their bodies while releasing a myriad of emotions in that kiss. Together, in front of a burning fire, they were standing, totally naked, fused in a hug and a kiss that turned the skin of both on a ardent surface. 

 

The fire spread from the wooden twigs to their bodies and while they kissed they knelt on the rug and he carefully helped her lay down. She, full of anxiety and lust, hugged him with her legs, giving him the free pass to invade her female portal with his greatness. And he didn't disappoint her. After entering her, they made their bodies dance as they made their tongues dance.


	9. Chapter 9

He did not know when he fell asleep, he only knew that for the first time in a long time he could close his eyes quietly and fall asleep. For the first time, he was able to dream, instead of waking up agitated and with his chest beating like a drum after a horrible nightmare ripped his stillness. 

 

He only knew that he was invaded by a well-being that he had needed for so long. Therefore, he did not bother to move to the bedroom after spending a night of pleasure with that woman who was at his side, but made the most of the peace he felt and remained laying on the carpet, next to the burning fire of the fireplace , embracing his lover. Only the robe that a few hours before covered his nudity, now served as a blanket.

 

She had her head, covered by a silky chestnut-colored hair with soft waves over Ben's broad bosom. She wasn't sleeping. With her ear well attached to the male surface, she could hear the rhythmic beating of that heart that had shown her his problems and secrets and although she felt that she hadn’t yet unveiled all the mystery that was the person of Ben Solo, she thanked him for letting her glimpse his soul. 

 

Perhaps she appreciated it even more, because she felt that she could not do the same. And perhaps that was what forbade her to fall asleep, to realize that perhaps she could not be as open about her past as he had been so far. Her client. Her client who had kissed her. And the memories of that passion between the two kept her awake.

 

Remembering each scene between them, she could not help to shudder. She could not explain, could not use specific words for what she felt. She thought that man should have a lot of experience, because he knew very well how to caress a woman from feet to head and make her feel, unique, beautiful, erotic and sensual. She softly touched with her palm that broad chest that sheltered her, hid in it, pressed herself against it. 

 

What was happening to her? Why did she do it? She didn't know, but it was what she felt, what she needed. However, to become aware of this, made all her insecurities and sufferings emerge once again. What she was living, though pleasurable, reminded her of the painful past, and the present which would inevitably turn against her. She remembered that she was forbidden to love and desire and dream... And even live. 

 

She reminded herself that she was dead inside, she also remembered that the aridity of her life had dried her soul. And yet there was something that contradicted those ideas, and it was their encounter, or rather, encounters with that man who now embraced her. She had felt an almost animal passion with him, anger when he provoked her, and compassion understanding and tenderness when they spoke. She had felt. Deeply and without explanation, she had felt.

 

He sighed and she felt that he was moving, so she lifted her face from his chest to look at him. Ben settled down a little and went on sleeping. His breathing was rhythmic and calm and she did not realize that by looking at him, a caramel sweet smile was drawn on her face. She wasn't aware yet of the tenderness of which she was capable when she looked at him. She kept staring at him absorbed. 

 

Suddenly he moved again, slowly and opened his eyes. When he was able to wake up a little more he placed himself sideways facing her. Rey touched his face softly, very carefully and strolled along his nose with special delicacy. Then she lowered her hand, to place it at Ben's waist.

 

-Hello 

\- Hello. 

-How do you feel?- She asked, seeing that he closed his eyes and frowned. 

\- Well - he said not very convinced. 

\- You don't seem well. What is it? 

\- I don't see you - he said gently. 

\- I know..... I know - she said sweetly, - But don't worry. Seeing me or not, you can still hold me tight.

 

He obeyed and held the feminine waist firmly, but sweetly approached it to himself, to his own, and kept it there quietly for a long time. Then he asked: 

 

-What time is it? – he said even with some sleep in the voice 

-Five o'clock in the morning. 

-Did you sleep well? 

-I didn't sleep 

-Why? 

-Many thoughts. Too many for one night 

-And what were you thinking about? 

-In many things 

-We have already had sex but you still don't want to tell me... 

-Please... Don't ask me any of that. 

-But.... 

-Please. You know well why I can't.... I shouldn't......

-How do you want me to understand you if you don't talk to me? 

-Ben... Let's not ruin this moment. Just hold me and keep what we have now in your mind. I just want us to keep this moment forever.

 

He decided not to insist. He knew that if he kept pushing her, it wouldn't do anything to help her trust him. Besides, Ben always found a way to find out what he wanted to know, even when others didn't want him to know. On the other hand, it was not bad for him to have a little candor and innocence. He decided to obey and putting his arm at her waist he snuggleded and fell asleep again. 

 

However, she, though very comfortable among the arms that sheltered her, was unable to sleep. For the first time in many years, she felt a great repentance for the life she lived so far. She also regretted her past and the bitterness that the memories brought her. She tried to absorb every moment with Ben, to hear his breathing, the heartbeat of his heart, everything. And Rey knew that at dawn she should leave, and this time she had to stay away. 

 

The trouble was, she didn't know how. Ben already knew what agency she worked for, and to be honest, while she had considered changing her workplace, the stark reality was that it wasn't just the agency she worked for that bothered her. She was annoyed by her work altogether: the places, the people and even her co-workers were more strange and distant every day.

 

She thought of Butterfly and while her affection for her was intact, she could not help thinking about the moment she could get away from all that bitter life. And to change her "line of work", she didn't have enough preparation. She remembered how life had been charged with trauma and kept pulling her away from the possibility of a good education and therefore of decent employment. She tried to imagine what the man that hugged her with strength would think if he knew... If he knew all that life had put her through. 

 

She was trying to imagine it and the truth was never pleasant. Whatever she said, no matter how she tried to explain it, deep down she knew that any man would reject her as much for her past as for her present. No, she definitely couldn't trust anyone, and above all, she could not further ruin the life of that man with whom today she shared the bed. Moreover, even though she would have wanted to entrust him with secrets of her life, he was only a lover. And though sex with him was incredible, in no way did that mean that he would think of her as a girlfriend, much less that he would consider spending the rest of his existence next to her. 

 

She warned herself that she should stop fantasizing about something else. She had to find a way to get away from that man and she had to do it quickly. Before she could fall in love with him... More than she already was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me but........... It's time to cry and be angsty


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THE UPDATED TAGS!!!!

 

Ben didn't know what time he woke up, but the truth was, when he did, he was alone. In vain he said the name... The pseudonym of the woman who had slept with him all night long. She had gone away while he slept placidly. He dropped his head with deep sadness. At last what he always thought would happen had happened, at last she had had enough of having sex with a blind man.

 

She had endured while the pay was juicy, but at that point not even the money could cover the disgust that she felt for that disabled man. He didn't blame her. If there was anyone in this world who understood the disgust for his person was himself. The bad thing is that even if he did not admit it, he kept in his soul the hope that the disgust of that woman for him, was not so great. He had hoped she liked him. But she didn't.

 

She didn't, and he had to accept it. He reproached himself for his foolish innocence of forgetting, at least for an instant, that she was a prostitute and as such, she was only working. She never felt, never cared... She just worked. He rose slowly from the bed.

 

In his body and in his mind there was a heaviness greater than accustomed. That morning his soul was turned into lead and that resonated in his whole being. He went to the bathroom and prepared the things he needed to take a shower, but half way he repented. He went up to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, but half way he repented. He wanted to go to work but... Repented.

 

He knew perfectly well that if Chase or Hux had not taken scores or recordings to his apartment it was because they didn't need him yet. They managed the recording studio with excellent results without his presence and only in matters of composition and orchestration went to get his help, which he offered without even leaving the apartment.

HeI hadn't been stepping into a recording room in years even. And much less a concert hall. He stood still, motionless in the middle of the apartment's living room, unable to do anything. He was there halfway around everything and without making decisions. After a long while, standing like a zombie, he slowly walked up to the bedroom, where he looked for a wooden box hidden under the bed.

 

From it, he extracted a glass bottle and a syringe, which he loaded swiftly and at the same speed, nailed it to his arm pouring all the whitish content into it. He leaned on the wall to wait for the effect, which didn't made him wait too long. As he fell into the drug slumber, he decided that nothing was worth it... Not even being conscious.

 

\---------------------------------------

 

No, he would never understand. He would never understand, and the truth was, who could blame him? She was doomed and did not wish to condemn another being to her same fate. And Rey was sure that no one in their right mind would ever share a day of her bitter existence. And she thought she didn't deserve it. She pretended for many years that everything was going well, that she was at least relatively happy.

 

But for some reason, since she met Ben, she reflected about her life and realized that she wasn't happy, and probably never was. She found no possible explanation as to why this revelation came to her, much less, why a client among all people, had opened her eyes that way. None of this made sense, not her life at present and much less the past.

 

That past life that came back every time she tried to move on. In an impulse of hope, she thought that perhaps it was best to return to that man and open her heart, after all, he had trusted her, he had told her parts of those painful memories that had made him suffer. Yes. Maybe she should... But no. She shouldn't have been such a fool.

 

That man, only was her client. He had been her client, she corrected herself. Because she could never see him anymore. Ben... Mister Solo, she reminded herself, he was dangerously close to her heart and she knew perfectly well that that was not acceptable. It was as unacceptable... As her life. That life that no doubt, if she tried to return to Ben, he would reproach her. Starting with her job. It was totally understandable, she thought, that any man would reject her.

 

How could he love a woman who already so many men had enjoyed? She was sure that after the initial passion, Ben would feel only disgust for her, disgust and contempt as well. She didn't blame him, She understood. She was the first to feel disgust for herself. A disgust that she experienced since... Since all that happened.

 

Suddenly, when she remembered, she felt pain, as if lightning was piercing her chest. A lash to her body that returned every time she thought of the past. Of him. The one who destroyed her whole life. She cursed him over and over and over again until the waterfalls crossed her face, as each tear was steely and her skin was cut off. As many cuts and wounds as her spirit had.

 

Why? Why was it that every time she tried to return to life, the torment came back? Rey cursed the one that had been her executioner millions of times and yet it was never enough to soothe the hatred she still carried in her soul. Hatred and pain that ate all the good that could exist in her being. And precisely because of that, she could not give anything beautiful or meaninful to another person. Or so she thought.

 

She knew she was broken, destroyed, and knew that no one would want to help her heal herself. That's why she had left. Far, far away, out of reach of her clients, of her house, of Madame Butterfly... and of Ben. Far away, where the distance would help her to keep her heart away from his, far away where she could not humiliate him with her past, far away where she could not hurt him. Far Away, where she could suffer quietly and alone.

 

God how much she needed him right now! She needed to hear himt, see him, hug him, make love to him... No. She reminded herself that they had never made love. She only worked for him for a while and that was it. For a moment she tried to reflect on why she had felt so attracted to him.

 

When she remembered she knew, that the moments that brought her closer to him were those where she found him vulnerable. Ben was a broken being, battered by life and that pain united them. She revived the moment when she discovered his blindness and also when he told her about the death of his son. Rey covered her face with her hands and wept bitterly. She knew as well as Ben of loss, pain, rage and helplessness.

 

Impotence in the face of such great injustices. Ben facing the death of his son, and then loosing his wife. Rey knew that had marked Ben forever. And she faced the injustice of seeing her life ruined when she was still very young. She was so young. She thought of her family. In that father who died when she was a child and whom she needed so much during her life. She also thought of her mother who was supposed to love her and yet... turned her back on her daughter when she needed her the most.

 

That woman who with her actions, had crushed her and then had blamed her for her misfortune. How could she? How is it that you wroth so much with your own daughter? She cursed her too, for she had been as toxic and destructive as her executioner was. That infamous wretch who destroyed her almost rosy vision of the world and of people. That man who murdered her soul... The day he raped her.


	11. Chapter 11

 

\-----3 Months later-----

 

Now all she had to do was get a job. One of her friends had recommended pay a visit to a woman who was convalescent and needed someone to take care of her. She was an elderly woman without a family who, in addition to offering her work and pay, gave her accommodation, because in order to get away from everything and everyone, Rey sold her house which caused her great pain, but she felt that it was necessary to be able to preserve her mental health.

 

The distance would give her the tranquility she had lost since Ben had appeared in her life. He had destroyed her structures and defenses and she could not afford the frailty of love. Because she could no longer deny the truth, she loved Ben with all her heart. It was a withering blow like that of lightning that shook her heart and divided it in half. Moving away was definitely an excellent decision.

 

Besides, Rey thought that after spending years and years in solitude at last she would have someone to talk to each morning, and with the bonus of having been allowed to carry her beloved puppies with her. When she reached the door of the house she could not believe it. The lady's "little house" to which her friend had recommended her was actually a mansion, stately and ancient in a glamorous suburb of Westchester.

 

She rang the bell and waited a few moments. She was welcomed by an elegant and refined old woman who was barely leaning on a cane. They were smiling at each other and the chemistry between them was immediate. The old lady invited her to enter and after exchanging some words, the woman didn't need to know more and hired her, asking her to start immediately.

 

She let Rey settle her things in the exquisite room she had prepared for her, and then, after Rey left her room sorted, she went out to meet with the old lady who was having tea.

 

\- Come, little one, sit down and have tea with me - the elder woman said, pointing to a chair. Rey obeyed.

-Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to work for you.

-Oh It's nothing child! I really enjoy having someone to talk to.

\- Yes, I understand you - said Rey, sadly, - I also enjoy having someone to share my life with.

-And how is it that a woman so young and so beautiful has no family? How old are you?

-I'm 25 years old. And I do have... relatives, but they reject me... for various reasons.

-The old story! The same thing happens with my family.

-I thought you had no family.

-I have it, but it is almost the same as if they did not exist.

-Your children?

-Daughter, actually. Only child. But we never got along, even less when she married. I just didn't tolerate her husband.

-Is he a bad man?

-Was... Actually, more than anything, he was a very difficult man. Well, tell me, what's your story?

-It's too long, and not at all pleasurable.

\- Child If there is anything I have is time to spare.

-All right, you'll see ma'am... I'm sorry, my friend didn't tell me your name.

\- Skywalker. Padme Skywalker.

 

Not knowing how to explain why, Rey was gradually letting her story out. She opened her heart and explayed without fear. Mrs. Skywalker's presence gave her the confidence and the thrust to show herself as she was. The old woman was sympathetic at all times and perhaps that is why Rey thought that at last she was sharing her life with someone who did not judge her for her actions, but someone who listened to her with an open heart.

 

A woman who, like herself, had experienced emotional, economic and social ups and downs and had lived with intensity. Yes, she and Mrs. Skywalker shared more than one pain, but most of all they shared the loneliness and hurt of the lost family. Later Rey would understand that they shared something more than pain.

 

After spending most of the afternoon talking, sharing one and the other's history, Mrs. Skywalker gave her some indications as to the frequency of her medicines which would be Rey's responsability from now on. She looked one by one at the vials and without noticing she even said in low voice the purpose of each one of them, she looked at the drugs and immediately memorized each one without having to write them down. This caught the attention of the old lady.

 

\- Are you a nurse, dear?

\- No - said Rey with a faint smile - the truth is... A few years ago I studied medicine... But as I told you, life had other plans for me.

-And would you like to resume your studies?

-No... I mean... yes, it would be beautiful to do it but I do not have the energy needed to spend whole nights studying, researching, writting papers.... anyway, I think I missed my chance.

 

Mrs. Skywalker was silent for an instant. Then she tried to follow the conversation taking another angle.

 

-Ah the medicine! It Is a beautiful career, though as all, bears it's sacrifices.

\- Yes, it is true,- said Rey.

-My family is full of doctors.

-Mine too. My dad and grandpa were doctors.

-Rey, if you wanted to, you could be like your father and grandfather.

-I thank you Mrs. Skywalker, but unfortunately my opportunity has passed long ago.

-Please accept my help.

-I will think about it - said Rey, not to reject whom kindly offered to help — thank you.

-Please, girl. there's no need to be so formal. Call me Padme.

-Padme... What a beautiful name!

-Yes, it's nice. Come here. Let's take a walk in the garden and talk.

 

Ben was more grumpy than ever. His addiction to painkillers and opiates had left him very dependent on them and was now suffering the consequences. Hux had taken hands into the matter and had interned him in a rehabilitation clinic. Obviously Ben tried to tell him and make him understand a thousand times that a few pills occasionally had no effect on him.

 

He objected to being treated like an addict and tried unsuccessfully to show his friend that he could control his drug use. But then she disappeared. For almost five months he did not see her, they did not talked, they did not make... They didn't have sex. And that's exactly the time he had added cocaine to his drug reservoir.

 

He had already lost count of how many times he had called the Butterfly escort agency. But everything had a limit, Ben Solo would not humiliate himself to find a simple whore, not evenif she was his favorite. Not even for the only one who he had confessed his sorrows to. Not even for the one he... No. He didn't love her. He just wanted her, he repeated once more. That's right, Ben Solo didn't humiliate himself for any woman.

 

He then drugged himself until he lost his reason and conscience. But the good Armitage had come to the rescue and took care of helping him to be sober. And he also took care of taking him back to his life. Yes, Ben had been honest with him. Maybe Ben was honest only with him, so Armitage already knew the feelings of his best friend towards that woman who had been his mistress a few nights, which had stolen his heart and now was gone.

 

That's why Hux acted quickly to try to protect Ben, as he would not allow him to collapse as had happened the last time a woman left him. So there he was, standing at the door of the clinic waiting for his best friend to come out for the first time in weeks of that enclosure. He didn't know what to expect, since Ben was most unpredictable, but at the same time, he knew he would be furious with him for not having visited him before, for not calling him or because he fancied to be grumpy.

 

Ben was like that and Hux had accepted that early on. With everything and bad humor included. At last the clinic door opened and Ben showed up. He was thin, haggard, with his hair a little longer than he usually wore it and with sadness and pain, physical and mental, engraved on the long face of sharp lines. Armitage approached to guide his friend to the car.

 

-Hi Ben.

-Hello Armie.

-Come on, there's a long way to your house.

\- No. There's a long way to the studio.

-What? - Hux asked, unable to give credit to what he heard.

-The medical bills won't pay themselves Armie. I have to work.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIME JUMP!!!!

The weeks had passed very quickly. Rey soon got used to living with Mrs. Skywalker. Padmé was an exceptional woman who shared her whole life experience with her and with whom she felt highly identified in different respects.

 

She had been very warm, and Rey reciprocated that warmth by opening her whole heart. Now she had someone to externalize her feelings without fear of rejection, and pain. And It was also that old woman who had no obligation, whom for two weeks had already convinced her not to give up her great dream: to be a doctor. Thus, Rey had filled her tuition at the university that Padmé recommended to her. According to Mrs. Skywalker the best was Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, Maryland.

 

-Why so much insistence with that university Padmé?

-Believe me, it's the best in the country to study medicine.

-I'd thought that maybe I could go back to Chicago, where I did my course until the first semester of third year. I know that there are still some of my acquaintances there and...

-I have acquaintances in Hopkins. Besides, wouldn't you like to graduate from the university attended by one of the best doctors in the world? - Said the old woman with humour.

-Who?

-My daughter.

-It's true! I'd forgotten

-I wanted my grandson to attend too but... He chose his own path.

-Padmé... You never told me your grandson's story well. Why doesn't he come see you?

\- He can't, - said the woman with a characteristic tremor in her chin - And besides, as my daughter, his mother, and I did not get along, I never had the opportunity to spend  
much time with... With my boy. But what little time we could had together, I tried to show him all my love. Han, his father, was a very difficult man, almost unbearable and for many years he abused the little one. My grandson still has a great grudge against his father, and I think that only since Han died, he tried to understand his father's hard and snappy behavior. On the other hand, when my grandson became a man, recently graduated, he got married and by different situations his marriage was not successful.

-Why don't you find him? I can tell that you suffer from being away from him and maybe, if you two were to join again, both would feel better.

-Maybe. But I don't think so. My grandson is a good man but his soul is very tortured by memories of misfortunes that torment him and prevent him from opening his heart to anyone. And even though I know he loves me, I wouldn't want to make him even more uncomfortable. You know? He used to call me Oma. It means grandmother in Dutch, where my ancestry comes from.

-Well, Oma, it's time for medicine and a lovely tea – said Rey changing the subject a bit by seeing that Padmé was sad

 

* * * TWO YEARS LATER * * *

 

Ben had returned, at least as far as possible, to normalcy. He had reached an agreement with the dean of the Peabody Institute dependent on Johns Hopkins University to perform there as a teacher of Composition and Rhythm in the online courses, and to serve as Director of the Orchestra of the Institute only in the more special occasions since he did not want to expose himself in public because of his condition.

 

Only for the recitals would he travel since his online teaching work did not require him to leave his apartment. Armitage had helped him escape the hell of hard drugs, but that did not lessen the acidity of Ben's personality. He was still grumpy, contemptuous, rude and crude, but since this was not something new in him, Hux had already learned to live with it, and the others were gradually adapting.

 

That morning Ben was particularly in a good mood, and with good reason. Hux had bet with him and lost five hundred dollars. Now he just had to look how to spend that money that tasted like victory.

 

-Don't make plans for the weekend - said Armitage entering Ben's office

-Stop annoying me Armie. I told you I'm not spending the weekend watching Little Women with you in bed.

-I hope you keep that good mood when I tell you what we will do.

-Hux, you lost the bet in good law. Why are you punishing me?

-We are going to Westchester.

-Is my presence requested in the local loony bin? - Ben said ironically, but somewhat concerned.

-No, we're going to Westchester to visit your grandmother.

-Who must be a step away from the loony at this point.

-Solo don't be rude. She loves you, respects you, puts up with you, What more do you want?

-I want a DO NOT DISTURB sign at my door right now. Fuck off.

-It is not negotiable Ben. We are going to Westchester. We can't refuse.

-Refuse?

-Yes, it was she who called to set the day... well, actually it was her lady companion.

-I didn't know that she had another employee apart from Sabé who's been wih her since... forever.

-You're warned. Tomorrow I'll help you put your bags together and we'll go.

-Armie...

\- You are warned - said Hux, slamming the door

 

Rey was happy. She had imagined that moment for a long time and had suffered a great deal until the moment came. That day she would finally receive her medical degree, and although she still had to endure two years of specialization, having her degree in her hand meant a lot to her. Thanks to Padmé, she felt that her life was considerably improved and she was willing to fight to continue that path, to fulfill her goals.

 

She knew that the chances of triumph for her, in any area, were now more and better than years ago. She was surprised by the speed with which timed had changed and the speed with which her life was flipped upside down. She got her place as an intern at the University's Hospital with pure effort and had just sent her application to start the specialized medical courses. Endocrinology, like her father. Like she always dreamed.

 

Rey had put on her black robe and was trying to fix the cap so that it would not ruin the soft waves with which she had adorned her chestnut hair. Padmé was ready and waited in the living room to go together to the auditorium of the University where they would carry out the diploma ceremony and where, in addition, Rey would give the final words as a speaker chosen by her classmates.

 

When she came down from her room to the living room she hugged her dear Oma tightly. They also shared the tears pertinent to the exciting moment they went through together. Rey parted a little and dried from her cheeks the moisture that had remained in them, then did the same with the Padmé's cheeks, and placing a fresh smile on her face, reminded herself that they should not ruin their makeup. And so, holding their hands, they walked to the entrance of the manor, where the driver was waiting for them. Padmé stopped for a moment and said:

 

-Let's hurry, I don't want to miss anything dear.

-Yes, me neither.

-Ah I forgot to tell you dear, when we return home from the ceremony, our visitors will have arrived.

-What visitors?

\- I am the old woman, and you forget - laughed Padmé - My grandson and his best friend. You called them yourself.

-I'm so nervous that I don't even remember what I did five minutes ago. The truth is that I am very curious to meet your grandson Oma. I hope we can get along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Han ended up being shitty. It's just fiction tho... so don't be upset


	13. Chapter 13

The ceremony developed just as it had been planned. All the time, she felt a lump in her stomach. She was nervous but at the same time she was very proud of her accomplishments, and how far she had come, overcoming huge obstacles and sufferings. She thought of Padmé, for without her she would have accomplished nothing of what she had today. She also thought of him. If she was being honest and looked at the matter with objectivity, it had been because of that man that she left New York, which led to her friend getting her the position as Padmé's companion. 

 

Yes, it had been for him, for her love for him. She couldn't stopped herself making a very painful reasoning: he hadn't thought about her for a long time, or maybe, he never thought about her at all. She had been his hobby, and only she had made the mistake of falling in love. And If he remembered her at all, surely now he hated her. He hated her for not staying, for not taking the chance. 

 

And to tell you the truth, she hated herself for that. She hated and congratulated herself at the same time, because when she fled, she found the person who most understood her and helped her fulfill her dreams. She payed the price of her dreams with her love. She decided that she could no longer solve the past and now it was time to appreciate her present so brilliant, and the future that for the first time in her life, looked promising. 

 

At the end of the ceremony she approached Padmé and hugged her with deep emotion and thanked her with beautiful words for everything she had done for her. The old woman looked at her with great tenderness and also thanked her, not only for her care, but for the affection and the company she had offered her, beyond work. Padmé felt Rey as her own granddaughter. A granddaughter she never had and she certainly would have wished to have. And so she let Rey know 

 

-My child, you don't know how proud I am of you. Since I met you I felt an immediate connection and I'm happy to have helped you fulfill your dream. 

-I love you too Oma and I deeply appreciate everything you do for me. 

-I know treasure, but I confess that I still hope that you can fulfill one more dream. The most important of all and the one I know that for years you have kept in your heart. 

-That dream is impossible Oma. - she said, lowering her head sadly. 

-No, my child, I know you still can. I'm telling you. Love will come to you soon

-Why are you so sure? 

-Believe me Rey ... I know what I'm saying. 

 

Rey was very intrigued by Padmé's words, she was struck by the trust that the woman placed in her sayings. She went along with the old woman to the car and the driver started the long trip back to the manor. On the way back home, Rey was very thoughtful, she reflected on Oma's words and could not help thinking again in the man that, although distant, she still loved passionately. 

 

The time spent alone increased her feelings and every thought that brought him back was so vivid that she could almost feel those masculine hands again in her body, she could almost savor the full lips of the man she loved among hers, with their tongues dancing together. Time and distance were not oblivion in her experience. They only enhanced her forbidden love more and more until they turned the pain and emptiness in her chest into something unbearable. 

 

\---------------- 

 

The trip in Hux's car was the most fun. Although he was not too demonstrative, Ben always had fun in Armitage's company . Maybe he was the only person he had fun with. Perhaps, because Hux knew how to accept him as he was, without expecting more from him, without pressuring him to change and without judging him. Ben was aware of how difficult his temperament was, and he understood when people were frightened and fled away from him. But at the same time he wondered why should he change his personality? The others did not change or make concessions for him, so neither would he. 

 

At this point, he noticed his inflexibility, his hardness of character and he could not help but remember his father. That man, whom he judged with tremendous resentment on countless occasions, but of which, after all, he learned to be as he was: demanding and relentless. Qualities that were often irritating about his father and that he now recognized in himself. Now he questioned himself whether they were really as bad as he thought. After all, to a large extent, those qualities led him to be the best at his job. 

 

He was the youngest and most laureate composer in the most exclusive spheres of music. His countless prizes and honors proved it. Armitage was right when he said "Solo, you don't love yourself, but you do admire yourself " And that was not only how Hux felt about him, but also the feeling of those around him. Many admired him... But nobody loved him.

 

Well, not nobody. Hux loved him. It was obvious after all he had done for Ben. Armitage loved him, and Ben would have sworn that she did too. She. He was surprised to realise that after two years he still thought of her wistfully. 

 

Little by little, and with the help of Hux, Ben had managed to compose himself, at least as far as possible. His life and career were better now, but despite his friend's efforts, he failed to stop thinking about her. And every thought was a lash of grief, for he could not help thinking that she never loved him. He had been her work, every encounter, every kiss, every caress... It was her job.

 

It made him sick to his stomach to think that she could feel disgust for him, but within his heart he could swear that she had enjoyed herself in his arms. But he wouldn't listen to his heart because it had already disappointed him before and Ben wouln't fall into the same trap twice. He had to convince himself: she no longer thought about him, probably never had. Probably didn't love him like he loved her. She would probably be with someone else by now. Probably... 

 

-We Arrived – announced Hux interrupting Ben's thoughts. 

-Yes, I know. I noticed when you stopped the car Armie. 

 

Hux didn't answer. He knew the sarcasm of his friend and just smiled and shook his head, while he opened the trunk of the car to remove the suitcases. The employee approached and after greeting them warmly helped Armitage with the suitcases, while inviting them to enter. As soon as he crossed the threshold, Ben stopped and a smile drew on his face. 

 

-What is it? –asked Hux 

-That perfume. My grandmother uses that perfume since I've known her and it's impregnated in her house. I'd recognize it anywhere. 

-Wow! I didn't imagine you were so detailed in how old ladies smell, my sunshine. - Joked Hux

\- Shut the fuck up man. 

-Who could have imagine it?! Little Ben's just brooding over granny. 

\- Jerk face - said Ben, as he walked a few steps, and when his foot touched the couch he sat down 

 

Hux laughed. When Sabé appeared in the room, after accommodating the luggage of the guests in the rooms, Armitage asked 

 

-Where is Padmé? 

-the ladies must be coming now.

-Ladies? – asked Ben by remarking the "s" at the end - Does my grandmother multiply? 

-I meant Mrs. Skywalker and Miss Johnson, her lady-in-company 

-Oh yes, yes, I remember. I'd forgotten that my grandmother had gotten herself a human cane. You think I can get one? I mean, maybe they sell them in the same store where I buy my inflatable dolls. 

-Solo shut your mouth! - said Hux annoyed and returning a look of apology to Sabé, who in turn looked at Ben scornfully – Thank you Sabé, we'll wait for the ladies. 

-Can I offer you something while you wait? 

\- A glass of water please - asked Hux. 

\- An Inflatable doll - said Ben. 

 

The maid just looked at Ben and then Hux. The poor Armitage, somewhat blushing, told Sabé to just bring him the water. The employee withdrew and within seconds returned with a tray with a glass of water to Hux, and then, addressing Ben said: 

 

-Sorry sir, the sex shop was closed. 

 

Ben and Hux smiled at Sabé's graceful wit. At that moment they heard the sound of a car that stopped in front of the house and a few seconds later the door opened, giving way to Padmé and Rey. 

 

Ben jumped from the couch where he had settled down. Rey was stuck in her place without being able to believe her eyes. Padmé advanced and after giving a prolonged hug to his grandson, which was followed by a loving kiss, said: 

 

-Ben, I'd like you to meet Miss Rey Johnson, my Lady in company. Rey, this is my grandson, the renowned composer Ben Solo. 

 

Ben was stiff as a statue. He could not see but his other senses were heightened. Something wasn't right. His brain indicated that he should pay attention so he tried to listen carefully. However, something in the atmosphere had become rarefied and no one made a sound. Ben took a deep breath... And that's when he felt as if a bucket of cold water was poured over him. 

 

He stretched his hand like an automaton. Rey approached with short and hesitant footsteps and clasped Ben's hand with formality. 

 

-Nice to meet you, Mister Solo. I recognize in you the traits of your grandmother – she said trying to be cordial and not be nervous and surprised. 

-And I recognize in you the perfume of a whore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay with me!! Just a little bit more angs and then some fluff


	14. Chapter 14

Rey didn't utter a word, only stood petrified in her place. She always knew that if she ever saw Ben again, he would reject her, but that did not lessen the lash of pain she felt in her chest as she heard such harsh words. 

 

-I couldn't help It. I know very well the smell of the whores I already used - continued Ben relentless 

-Enough! – Yelled Hux furious 

-Armie... You know very well that I should prevent my tender granny to keep her money well hidden, lest this little vixen... 

 

Padmé approached her grandson and without waiting for a second she slapped him with such force, no one would say that this woman was eighty three years old. Ben touched his chin as if trying to accommodate it after his grandmother took it out of it's place, while Rey, who had remained immobilized by shame and pain, said gently with her eyes coloured red by incoming tears: 

 

\- Gran... Mrs. Skywalker, you must speak to your grandson, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me. 

 

Rey went to the door that communicated the great hall with the kitchen, but Padmé stopped her on the spot. 

 

\- You're not going anywhere. You have many things to clarify with my idiot of a grandson 

-I am not... - Ben began to say , but his grandmother interrupted him. 

-Sit down! - Padmé shouted, to what Ben obeyed in the instant. – If Armitage and I decided to bring you two together, it was because we see you hurting. And It is clear that something was unfinished between you, so now you'll speak and solve this. 

-Hux you're a damn traitor and.... 

-Shut Up! - said Padmé and Ben obeyed immediately — it isn't with Armitage with whom you must speak but with her - she pronounced pointing to Rey- Let's go Armie 

 

Padmé took Hux by his arm and together they left the room leaving Rey and Ben alone. Rey just looked at him quietly, maybe it wasn't the right feeling but at that moment she felt truly ashamed. Not only with Oma and Hux for the scene, but oddly enough, she was ashamed with Ben. The way she had left, fleeing like a criminal, had not been the best way to deal with the situation, but at that time it was the only way she could react. 

 

She thought it best, that if he ever professed some kind of feeling to her and she confessed her own, then he should know the whole truth. But what would he feel when she told him everything? He'd probably feel disgusted at her, or at best, he would pitty her. And she didn't want to inspire any of those feelings in Ben. She wanted him to love her, purely and sincerely like she loved him. She wanted to be reciprocated, loved and desired in equal proportion. But she knew Ben wouldn't be the one to love her the way she wanted. Rey also thought that with her escape she spared him the pain of her gloomy past and the shame of having her as his woman. 

 

Ben, on the other hand, was crestfallen, serious and quiet in the same place where his grandmother left him sitting. He was angry, yes, with her for abandoning him in that way, without an explanation or at least a word, and with himself, for the unpleasant scene he had provoked and for how cruel he had been. And he was also angry at himself for loving her so passionately, and for being a coward who never took the opportunity to confess to her what he felt and pray to heaven that she would correspond to his love. 

 

Angry with her because she would despise him for being blind. But... how could Ben not get angry? He felt that once again, a woman made him bare his soul to then play with it only to shattered it into a thousand pieces. He reproached himself his anger as she did not know of his feelings and therefore could not play or make fun of them. And as expected, not having a word from her about why she fled, made him assume the worst. 

 

For Ben It was clear that Jade had left him, because even if she tried to cover it, to disguise it and fulfill her work "professionally", she could not bear the disgust of sleeping with him, not even for good money. And that hurt him. It was horrible to know how disgusting it was for any woman to sleep with him. Jade. No, her grandmother had introduced her as Rey. The name suited her, sweet and charming and with a spark of innocence in spite of everything, like her. 

 

Rey went to sit in front of the couch where Ben was, then breathed deep and said the first thing she thought necessary:

 

-Sorry 

 

He raised his head. At that moment he would have loved to see her. At that time and as the afternoon fell, Ben saw only a fuzzy outline of Rey and knew that when the night fell completely he would not see it at all. And then he also said the first thing that rushed in his head, what he wanted to know urgently. 

 

-Why did you do it? Why did you leave me? 

-I... 

-I became disgusting to you, didn't I? - He said impatiently, 

-No! 

-Come on don't lie!, you can say it, you can't stand being with me for being a useless blind man 

-No, it's not like that! 

\- Just admit it... 

-Stop It! It's not true! 

-And then what...? 

-I was ashamed! -she screamed at him desperately 

-Ashamed? Ashamed of what? – he said bewildered 

-Of me, of my life. The past and the one that was present then. Of being a prostitute. 

\- But why? I knew that since I hired you. 

-Yes, but... It's not the same. 

-Why? 

-Well, because sooner or later the fact that I was a prostitute would be an impediment, a stumbling block, an embarrassment for you. 

-And what did you care what I thought of you? Or do you care about all your clients think of you? - Ben said confused. He didn't want to hope that maybe she had a personal interest in him. 

-I cared... And I care what you think. 

-But why...? 

\- Because I love you - she said gently. 

 

That statement left Ben breathless because it caught him by surprise, but even more so, for what it implied. She loved him and he couldn't believe it. She did not give him time to doubt. 

 

-Sorry for leaving you. Sorry I didn't talk to you. I couldn't help it, precisely because I love you, because I don't want you to think badly of me, to be ashamed. I know I can't change my past anymore, but I'm trying to make a better future for myself. I know you won't be able to forgive me but... 

\- You're an idiot - he interrupted. 

-What? - She said on the brink of weeping, 

\- You are a massive idiot - he said, slowly approaching 

-I... 

-If you had been a perfect woman I would have run out to the mountains. Do you not see what I am? Or how I am? I need a woman to understand me, to support me, to put up with my shit. I need a broken woman... Like me. 

-Do you mean...? 

-Since I hired a prostitute for a weekend, I knew that said woman came with a huge emotional burden. I told you, no happy and functional woman gets hooked up in prostitution. And no prostitute is a complete and happy woman. Maybe I do not know exactly what happened to you in life, but I knew since you stepped on my portal that you were broken inside... And that's why I identified with you... That's why I fell in love. 

 

He needed no more words. All that his heart needed to get back to live, he had heard it moments before. Now he just needed her. He walked slowly and took her face in his hands. Slowly he traversed Rey's face, each contour, each piece of soft skin and got his fingers wet with the tears that slowly fell down the cheeks of that woman that made Ben's whole being beat. 

 

\- Nice to meet you woman of Jade -said Ben in a whisper 

\- Rey. I am your Rey. - She said slowly 

 

She closed her arms around the neck of the man who caressed her face. Carefully, she lowered his head so that his lips would touch hers. They both tasted each other's lips without haste, for they knew that no one would bother their intimacy. They interweaved their tongues without being able to contain the passion and desire that for more than two years was hidden in their hearts, and they prepared to spend the evening and the night making love in the couch.


	15. Chapter 15

The night had fallen and it was getting cold. Rey lit the great fireplace which stood before the two sofas of the drawing-room. Ben was naked, leaning over one of them, the same where they had made love a few moments ago, while she, also naked, stood watching the fire cracking happily. 

 

-What are you doing?- Ben asked when she didn't return to his side. 

-I look at the fire, the fireplace. I don't know if it will be the same for you, but I have great memories of a night in front of a burning fireplace. 

\- I do too. I think it's time to recreate that night. 

 

She didn't say anything else. She didn't need him to convince her of anything. Rey walked to the couch where her man rested and in doing so she noticed his massive erection. She smiled thinking it was almost impossible to believe that he had such an erection if they just had sex a few moments ago. But it was true and when she saw his hunger and need, she also felt the burn within herself that grew like the fire in front of them. She sat on the edge of the couch and immediately took the erection of her man in her hands, massaged it with insistence as he closed his eyes tightly, relishing in the pleasure that she gave him. 

 

When the massage wasn't enough for her anymore, she opened her mouth to savor him from end to end and with her hands she stroked his muscular thighs. He, surrendered, playing with his woman's wavy hair, passing his fingers through the soft waves and every so often using her hair to indicate that he wanted to get a little more into her mouth. She backed away a little at times to be able to breathe, agitated and sweaty, but returned to the task immediately with passionate appetite. 

 

Then Rey backed away for a moment and drew her tongue out, so that she could rub on it the erect member of the man she loved. He panted hard. She was torturing him, but it was certainly a torture he would have suffered all his life if necessary. Unable to endure more and with the only warning of "It's my Turn" he got up from the couch and helped her get comfortable, so that she was reclining on the back of the chair, seated. 

 

Ben determinedly opened her up, leaving her at his mercy. He placed a thousand kisses over her long legs. He savored them with his restless tongue and finally reached the female center where his tongue slid from the outside in and vice versa. He did It a thousand times and grunted with pleasure every time he had a little of his lover's nectar on his tongue. Ben tasted It with gusto and let his fingers take possession of the interior of Rey. 

 

She screamed. She could not help it, for that cry was born from her guts, from her heart and from her desire. Rey loved that man with all her heart and he was so erotic in his movements and his words that she responded viscerally to every stimulus. 

 

Ben asked her to maintain that position so he could penetrated her. Then he put the weight of his body over her, and so their bodies were very close together. Each one could feel the warmth, the sweat and the agitation of the other. She moaned at the contact and Ben loved that sound so much that he sought to repeat it and to achieve it, he pushed hard as he sucked her nipples. And he made it happen again. Rey's eyelids trembled and she moaneded at every exploration. 

 

They wrapped their arms around each other and allowed their hands to play as much as they wanted. And so she felt the first explosion that was like a huge incandescent ball that saw the light with a wild cry. He helped her lie on the couch to rest a moment after such a great orgasm, but she told him that he was crazy if he thought she would wait before making him come. 

 

Rey was on fire and she wanted to live fully what she felt, and with clear words she told Ben what she wanted him to do. She said It shamelessly, without doubt, because she needed it. The eroticism of the words made Ben's face darken with passion and he took the situation in his hands, becoming master and lord of that woman, who belonged to him now more than ever. 

 

BEn moved away with some abruptness and helped Rey to asume a new position. He helped her get on her knees and hands looking at the couch, while he, from behind entered her sex with raw power, but it was a ferocity that did not hurt but made them crazy with pleasure. And so she tirelessly asked for more, with whispers and sighs but also with cries. Rey was happy because Ben had done precisely what she wanted: love her, but in a savage way almost brutal, with the passion that would leave forever a print in her soul, and the happiness that it produced was beyond anything she had imagined. 

 

Rey knew unfailingly, that she could never be with another man. She couldn't and she didn't want it. He also gave in to the obvious, and moved to tears by the sublime moment, they both confessed openly their feelings for each other, while the sexual ardor led them to climax. It was said a thousand times that they loved each other, in sighs, groans and shrill cries until the impulse became present in Ben and he filled his woman with his elixir of life. 

 

He fell on top of her, pressed to her soft back. He didn't wanted to crash her so he tried to lay on his back, but he was so big that he almost didn't fit in the couch's width. He tried again but then he lost his balance causing both of them to fall to the ground. Laughter rumbled in the living room, witnessing their happiness. Rey tried to fix his wet hair which, when he fell, had untidyly covered his face. Ben kept laughing cheerfully.

 

Ben, who was still tightly holding her waist, smiled warmly. It was the happiest moment of his life and he told her so, because he was tired of hiding his feelings. Being always silent and never being open about his feelings had only caused him bitterness and he could no longer bear that pain. He opened his heart and waited for her to correspond his sentiments. 

 

-Rey, I am very happy with you. 

\- I am happy with you too - she said sweetly while stroking his black disheveled hair 

-That's why... - he hesitated because he was preparing for the decisive moment. 

-What's the matter, honey? 

-I want to ask you something and I need your total sincerity. 

\- Ok. 

-Do you really love me as you say? 

-Yes, of course. I love you with my life. 

-Then I need you to tell me, in detail, about your past. 

-But... For what? Our present is happy, I do not understand you... please, just let it be - she said frowning with great confusion. 

-Because we cannot build a future together without being sincere. The past always comes to bite you in the ass.

-And have you told me absolutely everything about your past? 

-No, it's true. But we have plenty of time to talk. I will tell you everything you want. Rey you know it's not easy for me to uncover my soul, before anyone. Not even with Hux, who has been my friend, my brother for years... But I'll try, I swear. And, I need you to promise to do the same. 

\- But... My past is..... It will destroy us. I'm scared darling. I know you'll hate me if you knew....

\- Rey I could never hate you. I won't judge you. I swear. I just want us to start from scratch and knowing everything there is to know about each other. Promise me you'll tell me everything. - he could feel her shaking with fear. He leaned in to kiss her forhead

-All right, I promise. - Rey said still trembling

\- Great. Because I have something important to tell you. 

-What's that? 

-I want to marry you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a short fluffy one cause we are aproching some weird dark moments so.... enjoy!! We are half way to the end


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!  
> This is quite an emotional or sad episode so please read carefully at you own risk. Some situations might be triggering for some people and / or traumatic
> 
> Also, I took many libertied explaining Rey's education process cause I couldn't find much about the US education system that could be helpful and honestly, it was quite boring lol

She looked at him as if she could not believe what he was telling her. Marriage. She would never have imagined it. Perhaps when she was younger and had not yet received the blows of life, she would have dared to dream it, but now, after all that had happened in her life, she had already lost the hope of forming a traditional family. 

 

But now Ben was proposing to achieve that forgotten dream. The offer was certainly tempting, but would Ben Solo be able to keep that proposition when he knew all about her past? She had to try and finally get that heavy load off of her back.

 

-Ben... Are you sure about what you want? 

-Yes, and you? 

-I know that I love you and of course I want to be your wife, but.... 

-But what? 

-I'm afraid you'll hate me for my past. 

-Look, tell me everything and then we will rethink the way forward. 

 

Rey knew Ben was right. They couldn't start a life together if they didn't open their hearts to the other. She gathered all the courage she could, and asked God, as she did years ago, to help her, to give her strength to tell her crude truth. But most of all, she asked Ben not to leave her, not to hate her, because if that happened, she knew she couldn't resist it. 

 

-Ben, my life has never been easy. I think my happiest time was my childhood, and it was only because my father was always my guardian angel. For some reason I never understood, my mother just managed to bear with me, but never to love me. My father was always the balm for any pain. He was my everything. Sadly, he died when I was very young. I was 13 years old and I felt my heart ripped off, I thought that would be the greatest pain of my life. I didn't know yet how many more sufferings were waiting for me in the future. 

 

Ben stood silent and paid attention to what Rey was telling him. He feared that if he interrupted she would be silent, or that any gesture or sound might indicate that he was judging her and therefore she would be intimidated. He listened and understood many things that did not make sense to him before. 

 

\- Just when I was 15 years old, and when I began to recover from the sadness that my father's death caused, it happened... Something happened that marked me forever and changed the world in which I lived. That's when I knew how far people without feelings can go. For the first time, I begged my mother to let me go out and dance with my friends. They did it all the time, but my mother was always so rigid that I had never allowed myself to have that kind of outing. I got so happy when she let me go, I called my friends and we agreed where we would meet. We had so much fun! We had fun like crazy. I had bought a black miniskirt , which my mother obviously objected, but I got the same, because that would be my night. We danced all night and when we left the club, a couple of friends went their way and I walked with my bestie a few blocks, but then she met the guy she liked and returned to continue dancing with him. I asked her not to leave me alone, but she begged me to let her go, because it was her chance to hook up with him. I didn't want to ruin this for her.... so I let her go. I walked a few blocks hoping to find a taxi, but none came. I was relieved when I saw a man who lived two houses from mine, and then I asked him if he could walk with me, which he accepted. I shouldn't have done it, Ben, I shouldn't have... - the tears interrupted her. 

 

Ben hugged her tightly. He didn't need to hear it, because he knew what she would say and he didn't want Rey to go through the unpleasant task to explain the situation to him. He did not blame her at all, on the contrary, he felt deep anger and pain in his heart. If it had been in his hands, that bastard would be dead. Ben gently stroked her hair and encouraged her with affectionate words. When she recovered a little she went on: 

 

-I... I was innocent, Ben. I had the hope of giving myself to a boy who I loved and who was in love with me too but... It was the opposite. When I came home crying, scruffy and dirty, I threw myself into mom's arms as soon as I saw her. I hugged her hard and cried as much as I could. She didn't move an inch. He didn't even touch me and she didn't say a word. Surprised, I let go from her and looked at her strangely. With a single slap she turned my face to the other side. I looked at her again with greater surprise than before while she, without any shame, shouted to me that I was a slut, that if I were decent and acted as such the rape wouldn't have happened..... - Rey was sobbing - That I had dressed too sensual and that's why it had happened and a string of horrible things like that. 

\- Rey stop. This is too much and it's hurting you. I don't need to know... - Ben said but Rey interrupted him.

\- I tried, even with my immaturity and my pain, to do the best I knew at the time. I went to my room and put two or three things in my backpack, I took out some money I had saved for a concert and I left. I ran and ran to the police, made my complaint and after they took me to the hospital I spent the night there. The next day, I was tired of being poked even to my soul, so I ran away. I sat in the park and cried. That's when a girl gave me a flyer announcing a homeless shelter and there I went. Little by little I was progressing. I got a nanny job for a lady who was a benefactor of the shelter until I could afford a bike. Then I enrolled in the night school, and went back to sleep in the shelter. As I always did well in school I began to tutor my own classmates. I found more children to take care of, and with a lot of effort and little by little I finished high school and I joined the university, with the help of my benefactor Mrs Jones and every single dollar I could earn working as many jobs as I could. But I only made it to the first semester of third year. 

\- What were you studying? 

\- Medicine. I always wanted to be a doctor like my father. 

\- And why did you only go to third year? 

\- During the first two years in the university I became very close friends with one of my classmates. Studying together, we shared our free hours and slowly fell in love. He was very good to me. He gave me confidence in men and made me lose my modesty and traumas with sex. I always felt like he was my real first time. At least it was the first time I consented, and that I enjoyed. We were very happy together, but since I was very poor, so much that I just won an amount that only was enough for me to invest in college, his family never liked me. Not that they were very wealthy, but they expected their son to marry "well," you know, with a good-family girl, not a nanny. At first, he stood by me, but slowly yielded to family pressure and we were separated. It hurt my soul, but I don't blame him. But who knows what would have happened... maybe my life would have been better if he stayed with me. 

-What do you mean? 

-The children that I cared for were growing gradually and one by one the jobs that I had were disappearing, and therefore, my money also began to disappear. I had to leave the university because I couldn't afford it, and I also had to cut other luxuries, like the food and the pension where I lived. The first day I slept on the street, a woman came up to me, a little older than me, very nice and kind. She seemed to have suffered enough in her life too. She was a prostitute and wanted to get away from "the boss" as she called the guy who exploited her. She invited me to stay at her house, as she had already finished her round and I accepted. Slowly we became friends and when she finally got away from the bastard that used her... She opened her own place and asked me to work for her. 

-As a prostitute 

\- Exactly. 

-How did you have the courage to make that decision? 

-Very simple, there is something that makes it easier. 

-What? 

-Ben... When you go through what I went through... The noise of your hungry guts will always be stronger than the noise of your conscience ... and even more when... 

-When what? 

-When you carry a child in your womb.


	17. Chapter 17

Ben was stunned not knowing what to say. He swallowed hard while his face reflected a mixture of surprise and sadness. Rey looked at him and in a sad voice said: 

 

-I knew you'd be disappointed in me. 

-No, No. I'm not disappointed. It's just... I don't know what to think, what to say. This is very sad to hear Rey and I never expected it. I know I'm a bastard sometimes, but what you've done in your past life is none of my business. 

-My life... It was always dark, Ben. That's why I walked away when I realized I loved you. Because my life will always be a disgrace to you. 

-You must let me draw my own conclusions. 

-But I... 

-Just tell me where your baby is. Because, your son or daughter at this point should be about three or four years old, right? 

\- No. - She said softly lowering her head.

 

Ben was petrified while Rey, with great pain and difficulty, explained the facts to him. Facts that knotted her heart with the same intensity of the first moment, as if time had never passed. 

 

-As I told you, shortly after my boyfriend left me, I started rolling through the streets. The hunger and the cold led me to accept the proposal of the prostitute I met, but more than anything, what pushed me to work, more than anything else, was the baby that grew in my belly. I knew I was pregnant with the first symptoms, but when I tried to contact my boyfriend, he had already proposed marriage to his high-society girlfriend and then I knew that my baby and I had no place in the jet set that surrounded that man. When Butterfly and I met, I was so desperate that the desire to have money to carry the pregnancy well was stronger than my shame and my modesty. You can't imagine the disgust I felt the first time... 

 

She couldn't say anything else for a moment and after taking several deep breaths, she resumed the story 

 

-I cried all that night and I apologized to my baby for not knowing how to make things better. And so several months passed, until I got too fat to go out on the street. In addition, customers did not want a fat hooker and a kid on the slopes, so Butterfly kept me the last few months. One night, when my labor started, it was she who took me to the hospital. You cannot imagine my happiness in receiving my daughter in my arms. 

 

Ben felt the tears run down his cheeks. It had been a long time since he allowed himself to cry with that fluency. He could feel perfectly in his heart the pain of the woman he loved. If only he had known her before, she could have been saved from all these sufferings!!. But there was no point in lamentations that did not solve anything. He could only listen and understand. To support her so that she could feel his strength and gradually overcome all her traumas with his help. 

 

\- What did you call her? 

\- Joy. After leaving the hospital with Butterfly, she took us to her house. I took care of her house and the baby while she worked. I owe her a lot. She's an excellent woman, whom also knows what suffering is. I swear that a thousand times I wanted to look for a job as a maid, nanny or whatever, but everyone rejected me because I had the girl with me and you know how employers are with these issues. So, to my regret, when my body recovered sufficiently I had to go back to the street. That's how we lived for two years. It wasn't the best, but for me it was enough for my daughter to have what she needed, no matter what I would have done to get it. Everything was fine until... 

-Until what? - Ben tried to encourage her to tell him the whole the story. She wiped her tears trying to calm herself. Crying threatened to come back. 

-Until one day my daughter got sick. I took her to the hospital, but it seemed the doctors didn't know what she had. They had to do a lot of tests and that took a lot of money, I didn't have insurance or anything. The doctors did what they could but... It was all in vain. I suffered so much to have her, to feed her... And she went away in an instant. 

 

Rey couldn't resist the sadness of the story anymore and broke into tears. Ben hugged her to give her encouragement and also to encourage himself as he had lived the story as his own. He had never imagined that her past could be so terrible, so painful. But he didn't judge her. On the contrary, he valued her even more, as he recognized in her the efforts of a mother to support her daughter. 

 

He didn't care how or why she did what she did. He only recognised in her what he himself would have done for his son. And precisely because of that, he knew that he loved her more and that he was joined to her by many more things than he originally thought. They shared the fact of losing the blood of their blood too soon. He asked her to calm down and when she wanted to resume the story, he stopped her. It had been enough and there was no reason for her to continue re-living miserable moments of her existence. 

 

In addition, Ben felt that he no longer needed to know more than he knew to realize that he could trust her with body and soul. She had earned his trust and his love more than ever. However, she tried to tell him something else but he stopped her. 

 

-No, No. Hush now. That's enough for today. I don't want you to cry anymore. I want you only to be happy from now on and that your face is only adorned with smiles. 

-But there is... 

-There's nothing else. I don't need to know any more. All I care about is that as of today, we plan our marriage. 

-Ben... 

-Shhh...- He hugged her tightly as he placed a tender kiss on her temple - Let's get dressed because Oma and Wilson will be here any minute and I don't want to be seen this way. 

\- Thank you - she said tenderly, kissing his chin. 

 

He couldn't help it. He kissed her, first tenderly and then with a passionate possession. She melted him. It was not common to see him tender and sweet, but she aroused in him those emotions. When they broke the kiss, she looked at him longingly while he was dressing up. She looked at him with desire, with passion and with infinite tenderness and a shudder in her heart that only love could explain. 

 

But she immediately felt guilt too. If Ben could have seen in her heart he would never have been able to explain why she felt guilt. She dressed herself, still feeling in her soul that mixture of pleasant and unpleasant sensations, but she did not speak again. She helped Ben to clean up the room and when they finished, she snuggled into the chest of her future husband, who was once more seated in the huge couch. 

 

At that moment Armitage and Oma entered and seeing them so happy together they didn't have to ask what had happened between them. Ben with unaccustomed joy announced to the newcomers his imminent marriage to Rey and both his friend and his grandmother hugged and congratulated him. The bride-to-be received the congratulations and kisses with a smile but always remained silent. There was something in her psyche that was not in tune with the reigning joy. 

 

Ben and Hux went to the kitchen to fetch a bottle of wine to celebrate, while Grandma took the phone and began to move her contacts to prepare a wonderful wedding for her grandson. Since she had spoken on the phone with Armie and began making connections between what he told her, plus what her granddaughter of the heart confessed to her. At first Padmé could not believe it, but in time she thanked God for her good luck. She knew in her heart that his grandson had found the woman he needed, but she also knew that his grandson was resentful and that he was deeply hurt. But she would be in charge of reuniting them and of giving both what life had stolen from them: happiness. Meanwhile, Rey sat down, earnest and thoughtful. From the couch she watched her fiancé laughing in the kitchen with his best friend, and seeing him she thought: 

 

-Honey, you won't be so happy when you know everything.


	18. Chapter 18

Things were happening vertiginously. For almost two weeks they were with the preparations for the wedding and Rey could not avoid that dual feeling that invaded her every time she planned something for the big day. At last she would be the wife of the man she loved with all her heart. She felt a happiness that filled her and wrapped her heart in warmth, but she also felt a strong nervousness because she was aware that Ben didn't knew the whole story of her past.

 

Notably, what he didn't knew was, perhaps, the most significant part and Rey didn't want to marry him under false pretences. She decided that she should tell him before their marriage, so she begged heaven that Ben could, in his heart, forgive her and understand her as he had done so far. Rey hoped he would. 

 

Rey entered the house, coming from the courtyard where she had been sitting trying to decipher what to do, and found a constant coming and going of people. Personnel of protocol, the florists, the chef and his assistants, and a myriad of people she didn't even know what tasks corresponded to them. She also found Padmé giving instrucions on how to place the chairs of the guests and other matters of the event. 

 

-Padmé, where's Ben? 

-He left with Armie. 

-How? Where did he go? 

-I don't know. He didn't want to tell me. 

-But... 

-I just know he got a call and it seemed urgent. He spoke two words with Armitage and they both left quickly. 

-Is just that... 

\- You mustn't worry about it, treasure - said the old woman kissing her cheek - He'll be back here on the wedding day. He assured me himself. 

-But how come he did not warn me? He didn't... 

-Stay calm. The important thing is he'll be back in time. 

 

Rey turned and went up to her room and searched for her cell. She needed to talk to Ben. Or at least she'd try to know when he'd be back so she could talk to him before the wedding. Rey hated to have to confess such an important secret on the phone, but if she had no choice, she'd have to. 

 

\--------------------- 

 

Ben was just really upset. Irritated was the most appropriate word. Why right now? Precisely when he had made the most important decision of his life, and the feeling he needed for years had finally returned. And it only returned when he met Rey. Fortunately Hux had gone with him to New York. He needed his friend's company more than ever because this was certainly an obstacle he never thought would cross his path. 

 

Years ago, so many that it was hard for him to remember, he had suffered what he believed was the worst disappointment of his life, but now he knew that fear was nothing compared to the terror he now felt. Right now, at this very moment, the happiest of his life, he could not allow the obstacles to cloud his future. He came to the restaurant where they had agreed to meet. He sat nervous and practically forced Hux to do the same. He needed him and he would never allow Armie to leave. 

 

Ben was very impatient and asked his friend what time it was, practically every five minutes. He drummeded his fingers on the table tirelessly and asked the waitress for ten glasses of water in half an hour. Hux looked at him and tried to calm him down, but every time he said something to try to make his buddy relax, Ben got worse and called him an idiot. Suddenly Armitage looked at the door and said: 

 

\- Here she comes. 

 

Ben rose from the chair with a frowned face. 

 

\--------------- 

 

Rey called him on the cell a thousand times, but each time, the answering machine told her that it was turned off or out of the coverage area. She cursed a thousand times. If Ben came back just in time to get married, she wouldn't have time to talk to him. She needed to, because she wanted to explain how things had happened. She also thought that if she lost this moment, she could no longer muster the courage to be honest with her fiancé. 

 

But there was something else that turned in her head and even though she tried she couldn't make that idea disappear. The sudden call and disappearence of Ben, almost without explanation gave her a bad feeling. Rey felt something threatening her wedding and her future and that hunch almost didn't let her breathe. 

 

\-------------- 

 

If someone had told Ben the day before what would happen the next day, he would never have given credit to those words. But the truth was that there he was and that he had to confront the reality as soon as possible and end the whole thing so that he could continue his life with Rey. 

 

\- Hello. 

\- Hello my dearest ex-wife 

\- Solo, you can never... 

-Sorry, I meant "un-dearest". 

\- Solo... 

\- Take a seat damn witch - said Ben, making the gesture of offering her a seat. 

\- Hello Hux - said the woman, and Armitage came and kissed her cheek. 

-Ah it is true! I forgot you guys were buddies. 

-Ben behave yourself -mused Hux 

-I behave like this soulless bitch deserves. - barked Ben

\- I knew you would be like this - said the woman gently. 

\- Then why did you want me to be here? 

\- We have to talk Ben. 

\- It's been years since we last saw each other and now I have nothing to say to you... hahaha! Understand? We "SAW" each other! Hahahaha! - his laughter was sarcastic and with no humor in it. 

\- Solo please - said the woman, rising the tone of her voice. 

-AHH! I understand, you can leave me for being blind, but you can't hear blind jokes. 

-You still don't understand why I left you? It was all very difficult for me. 

-PHEW! Difficult. Leave a cripple to live the great life... 

-Great life! If only! - she barked back at him

 

Hux watched with great discomfort the scene, while every time he tried to make the foolish pair lower their voice, only managed to be scolded and that kept him quiet. He was merely left as a witness, though uncomfortable to say the least, of a highly unpleasant situation. He couldn't stand that verbal carnage. He made gesture to get up to leave but Ben pulled him down by his sleeve and sat him so hard, that Hux knew Ben would assassinate him right there if he dare try another escape. 

 

Convinced that his friend would not go anywhere, Ben directed his hatred once more towards the woman he had in front of him. 

 

\- Tell me how long did it take you to fuck another guy? Five, six seconds maybe? 

\- Bastard! - The woman cried out - What do you know about the life I've had all these years? You are so involved in your own pain, your suffering, that the rest of the word slips by you. You were always selfish. 

-And I'm supposed to believe you're the victim? Because I have proof that you are the opposite. 

-I left you because I was afraid. We had just lost our son... 

-Don't you dare bring him into this! - Roared Ben, hitting the table and causing the whole crowd to turn to see them. 

-Well, even if you don't like it, it was how it happened - She said, lowering her voice - After our son died and you were blind, I didn't know what to think or do. I was very young and had no experience in situations like that. My life had been calm, even spoiled, until that moment. I was heartbroken and you were immersed in your pain. I needed someone to talk to, who would hold me and you were never there for me. It was all about your pain. Everything revolved around how you felt because you're selfish. I had to heal you, protect you, understand you... and where was I? I lost my son that day too, but I had to suppress my cry to make way for yours. 

-And you didn't do anything wrong, surely. You're just the poor victim of all this, aren't you? 

-Of course I did some things wrong. In spite of everything I should not have left you, but at that moment, the pain and loneliness that I felt, closed my thoughts. But for your peace of mind I tell you that life, took care of making me pay dearly all the bad thingsI could have done. 

-Oh yes? Well, I'm glad. Although nothing that could happen to you would be compared to what I've been through since you completely abandoned me. 

-As always, you think your pain is more important than the others. But if you give me a few minutes you will see that at the end of the day, the one that lost in every way was me 

-Okay. - He said and sighed, trying to calm down. He was tired of fighting - I will grant you the minutes you desire, but not too many. I have a woman who's worth my time waiting for me. 

-About that.... I have to talk to you about your future marriage . Armie, can you give us a few moments? 

 

Armitage just nodded and before Ben could even say something, his ex-wife helped him stand up and taking him by his arm, led him out walking slowly. 

 

-As I said... I want to explain many things... And among those things I want to talk to you about your future marriage. 

-I don't think that you are precisely the one to give advice about marriage Melanie Warner.


	19. Chapter 19

Ben was gone for a long time , and he wasn't even coming back, and he wasn't answering his phone. They were getting married the next day and that he did not return raised Rey's suspicions as it was natural. What could have been so urgent for him to leave on the eve of his marriage without leaving a clue about his location? Rey walked through the room without being able to stop, because the nervousness that possessed her was uncontrollable. 

 

She wanted to talk to Ben in a thousand opportunities and the truth is that something had always been interposed. What she had to say, no one else could say. She tried to stay seated on the couch but did not make it, she kept moving her leg, biting her nails, watching the watch tirelessly in an attempt to relax but was not successful. She finally decided to stand up once more, and as soon as she did, she saw the door open in front of her. 

 

Ben and Armitage appeared in front of her. Hux looked at Rey who was watching his fiance intently. Armie kissed her affectionately and went upstairs quickly to disappear behind the door of his room. She kept staring at her future husband who, instead, bowed his head to the floor while tottering slightly. His hair was unkempt and his clothes were in the same state. 

 

Immediately the young woman, knew that the man standing in front of her was drunk. She felt a strong stitch on her chest, but she had to know. She needed to know. 

 

-Why are you drunk? 

\- Pff! - exclaimed Ben, trying to keep his head upright – We still haven't married little woman and you're already controlling me. 

-Forgive me if I do not laugh at your jokes but I am too worried and nervous to have a sense of humour - she said serious. 

-You have nothing to worry about. 

-Ah no? What about your mysterious disappearance? What did that mean? 

-Nothing bad. 

-Oma told me you got a call and then... 

-And then I went with my friend to take a walk. Period. - Ben lied

-And to take a simple walk you needed almost a whole day? 

-We went to New York. 

-New York? For what? 

-Hux had the Bachelor party ready. 

-Really? She said somewhat suspicious. 

-Yes, yesssyesyesyes - he said dragging the speech - Now, let's rest so that tomorrow we are bright and shinny for the epic scale event that is our wedding. 

 

And saying so, Ben passed his arm over the shoulders of his fiancé and leaning in them gradually climbed the steps to the room they shared. She very carefully helped him wash, put on his pajama pants and finally deposited him in bed, where he spread out destroyed by the effect of alcohol. She was still uneasy, as her intuition told her that something was wrong. However, she was convinced that perhaps it was just the nervousness of the upcoming wedding and nothing more. 

 

Her fiancé had had a bachelor party like any other man about to get married, she thought, and that party had been unique and singular as all about her future husband was. Yes, that was it and nothing else. She took a deep breath to try to calm down, then changed to put on a comfy silk nightgown and lay down next to the man she loved. She watched him sleep a moment and then approached as much as she could to his body to feel his warmth. He, without waking up, hugged her instinctively when he felt her moving next to him. 

 

Agitation. Trouble. Tripping. Everything happened at the same time and Rey and Ben barely had time to breathe. Ben still felt the consequences of drinking alcohol the night before and asked Sabé for an aspirin and a well-loaded coffee. Rey, meanwhile, tried to control everything and was frustrated to notice that it was impossible. The flowers, the details of the make-up and the dress, the placement of the guests, everything was just too much for her. 

 

Padmé, on the other hand, seemed to float on the floor. She took control in her hands and advised the couple to try to relax and leave everything in her hands. Thus, Oma and Armie took the reins while the future spouses had breakfast at the small kitchen table, as the dining room served as an inn where the wedding cake and other delicacies rested. Rey appreciated that tiny atmosphere of intimacy and closeness because she wanted to try once again to be frank with whom in a few hours would be her husband. She would have liked a greater margin of time, but that was the way things were and she had to accept them.

 

-Honey, I need to talk to you. 

\- Aha - he said earnestly, while drinking his coffee. 

-It's something important that I want you to know before you become my husband. 

 

Ben raised the face of the cup and with the soft light of the day tried to see Rey's face in a ghostly form. He could see little, but he was trying to take advantage of the hours of sunshine. Despite his difficulty, he could tell that she was serious and worried. Then he knew that she wished to be honest with him. He swallowed hard. 

 

-Well, tell me what you have to say. 

-I am... 

-Come on, Rey! Time to start changing and doing makeup - said Padmé entering. 

-Oma please give me a few minutes I need to talk to Ben about something. 

-Ah it's all right! But only a few minutes. 

\- No, no need - said Ben, standing up — The truth is that I too have to start getting ready for the ceremony. 

-But honey, I have something important that... 

-Whatever it is it can wait, woman. After the wedding we'll have time to talk about everything. 

-Ben, please, it's just a minute. We need to talk. 

-Whatever you want to ask me I say yes. Now excuse me - and without waiting he left. 

 

Rey was silent and very soulless. She thought that perhaps it was all a sign that she should not tell him anything. But she had the feeling of guilt incessantly in her heart, tapping and crushing ir in two, which did not allow her to enjoy all that was around her. Oma didn't give her much room to think things through. They climbed holding hands, to the room where a staff of professionals would help the bride to be ready for her beautiful wedding. 

 

In his room Ben sat with heavy heart on the edge of the bed. He thought a thousand times why he had done what he did. Why didn't he let her talk and be honest when she asked him to? He knew the answer. He didn't want to hear it, not again. What Melanie had told him had broken his soul. So much so that during his conversation with his ex-wife he had left, before she could finish explaining everything. But as he told Hux that night, he had heard enough and then fled to hide in a shitty bar to drown in alcohol. 

 

That night Melanie tried to find him to keep talking, but he couldn't bare to hear her. Ben had turned off his phone and had also closed his mind. That night at the bar, he decided everything in his head. Without saying a word to anyone, not even to the loyal Armie, he decided how he would act from now on. Now he had to prepare to marry the woman he loved... and make her life miserable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys but BEn will be shitty for a chapter or 2


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end is near babes!! Only 10 more to go!!

 

He settled the uncomfortable necktie without being able to believe almost what was happening. He never believed he could get in that situation again and yet there he was about to get married... One more time. The first time he thought it would be forever and failed, but this time he knew beforehand that his marriage would be a farce. He could not help to admit to himself, that he loved the woman who would be his wife in a few moments, but it hurt to have found out in a cruel way that she was not at all the woman he had imagined.

 

He tried not to think too much. He had promised himself that he would make her pay for all the bad things she had done... And yet he filled his heart with a great feeling of guilt that he could not explain. The woman who would be his wife was a bad woman, bad beyond any forgiveness, as he judged, and so ... he would make her miserable.

 

\------------

 

She looked in the mirror with great emotion, almost unable to believe yet that God had for her so many blessings. But she thanked him that after a life of misery, once again heaven would remember her existence and give her happiness. She had met a very peculiar man, but she loved him deeply and he was extremely benevolent, since he had forgiven almost all her sins. Almost all, for she had not been able to confess yet the last of them. That made her nervous, since she didn't want to start her life with Ben having secrets, which they could then play against them. She wished to empty her soul from secrets so that he would never have a reproach or suspicion of her.

 

She looked again in the mirror and liked to see herself in her resplendent white dress and with a delicate tiara of bright diamonds, not too ostentatious but tremendously elegant. Perhaps, if she had planned her wedding alone, both the dress, the hair arrangement and the party would have been simpler, more intimate, she even thought, a white dress was not appropriate for a woman who... Well, for a woman who was no longer pure, but Oma made it very clear that she would not miss the opportunity to throw the house out of the window with a spectacular party since, after all, it was her beloved grandchildren who where getting married.

 

Either way, she felt immensely happy and the details were the least, as long as she could unite her life to Ben's. She thought she would have loved it at that time, for her father to walk her to the altar and ,although with some reservations, she admitted to herself that she would also have wished for the presence of her mother at the moment she joined her existence to the man she loved.

 

She laughed mentally as she imagined what her mother would say, always so prejudiced and worried about the aesthetic, of that man: "He's too tall for you, you look like a dwarf", "He's so ugly! Look at that giant nose and those ears. " Yes, her mother would have hated him. But she found him infinitely beautiful. She knew that for most people Ben was not a gallant or wonderful catch, but his body... tall, imposing, fibrous, coupled with the elegance of his gait and his virility, which appeared for each of his pores, made him a captivating and mysterious man.

 

Rey thought of the dark, silky hair of whom from that day on was her man, and shuddered. Every dark wave was an aphrodisiac for her and just thinking about sinking her fingers in that soft as the foam hair made her legs tremble. She breathed deep to lower her excitement. It was time to go down to the garden where she would marry and sh couldn't let the few guests notice that she was ready for the honeymoon.

 

\--------------

 

Everything happened as planned. At noon, Rey, held by Armitage's arm, crossed the carpeted corridor between the chairs of the guests who had been neatly placed in the back garden of the mansion. She walked harmoniously to the rhythm of the wedding march, always with eyes full of emotion and fixed on the imposing man in an impeccable suit, shirt and tie and black shoes, who together with an elderly woman with a loving look, waited at the end of the corridor, in a altar delicately decorated with her favorite flowers.

   
From then on everything was as she had dreamed since childhood: Ben took her arm and together they listened attentively to the words of the judge who officiated the ceremony. With great feeling they both pronounced their vows at the opportune moment and after the signatures of the witnesses and of themselves finally the judge declared them husband and wife and asked them to crown the moment with their first kiss as spouses.

 

Rey stood in front of Ben and confirmed once again that she loved him and immediately took his lips between hers, no matter who looked at them. He answered warmly at first, but even if he wanted to, he could not ignore the call of his body in front of his wife's. After hesitating for a moment, he gave himself up, holding her tightly and unloading all his need and love into her mouth.

   
Oma had prepared an incredible reception for the newlyweds, although she admitted that they were more her friends and relatives, since the bride and groom barely recognized a quarter of the attendees. During the party she gave the bride and groom her gift: a fantastic honeymoon in the Greek Islands. Both thanked her and happily enjoyed the music and the company of friends and loved ones.

 

Hux watched Ben at all times. He knew what his buddy must had be feeling in those moments and distrusted the apparent joy of his friend. He loved Ben very much, but he also knew that when he felt hurt he could react in very drastic and even painful ways. He was talking to him before the ceremony but Ben assured him that he had forgotten everything and that he only wanted to have fun in the celebration of her marriage. But he distrusted, he knew that Ben Solo could not easily forget, let alone something as painful as what he had learned from who was now his wife. However, he did not comment on it and tried to hide his concern, praying that his friend would take, for the first time in his life, a sensible decision, but little did Hux know about Ben's plans.

 

The party ended almost at dusk and at that time Rey and Ben climbed into the car that would take them to the hotel suite they had booked on the occasion of the start of their honeymoon. From there they would depart the next day to Greece. During the trip by car he was silent and taciturn, but at the question of his wife he only replied that he was somewhat tired from the dance and the party.

   
Upon arriving at the hotel, they were received with congratulations and good wishes and after registering they went up to their suite that had been set with flowers and champagne. Ben kicked off his shoes and opened the bed, destroying the heart of flowers that was on it. Rey reproached him but he ignored her, when she insisted with the scolding, Ben only deigned to tell her that he was dead tired and that he was getting ready to sleep immediately ,and saying that, he took off his clothes and went to bed.

 

Rey was evidently surprised and hurt by the attitude of her husband standing at the foot of the bed without being able to believe what was happening. She knew that his departure with Armie the previous day had influenced Ben's mood more than he admitted, but she did not want to give up and tried to tempt her husband in a different way. She disappeared for a moment into the bathroom and when she reappeared, she walked to the edge of the bed and uncovered Ben, who was trying to sleep. He opened his eyes a little and said sarcastically:

 

\- If you want me to see you with the red thong I bought you, you did wrong to choose a blind husband.

 

She did not let herself be intimidated. She already knew that her husband was cantankerous and that he lived traumatized by his blindness.

 

\- The good thing about your blindness is that it forces you to use your hands to "see" what your eyes cannot. Also ... take advantage now that I have no ... no thongs.

 

 

Ben's body responded immediately to that stimulus. He was still angry, but no matter how hard he tried, he did not resist his wife and her sensual gift. He felt his flesh go rigid under the pajama pants that covered him. Rey helped him sit down while she removed his pants and he meekly left her do it. Then, she asked him to touch her and without waiting, she took the hands of her husband and placed them on her naked breasts. He moved his hands in small circles as his breathing became labored.

 

She took his neck and forced him to tilt his head back while he continued playing with her breasts. She drew with the tip of her tongue the extension of the male lips and he tried to capture the tongue of his wife with his mouth in an extremely sensual game. But she had taken control and refused to give him her tongue on several occasions to tempt him more and more and succeeded to the point that Ben took the reins.

   
He let go of the female hands and took her tightly from the waist. He forced her to stand up and almost violently pushed her back against the wall. "Let's see how much you put up with," he growled at her and without much warning he clung to her and suddenly inserted two fingers inside her, while with a third he circled in the center of her excitement. But Ben's erection was so hard and so big that without being able to stand it much, he introduced his member into her with anxiety and desperation, so she cried out and gasped incessantly.

   
Ben gave her no respite, and began to push his flesh inside her, mixing slowness and voracity. He held her legs up at his hips as he opened her as wide as he could to make room for his wide body between her thighs. Both were burning and sweat was pouring out of his skin like a warm spring. She was exhausted but asked more and more without being able to stop. Ben was a hungry beast and did not cease his sexual ardor until he had bathed the crotch of his lover with his warm seed.

   
As he spilled inside her, Ben had no room for dark thoughts, he could only think of how much he loved her and how he felt more for her than ever, now that she was his wife, his lover, his life.  
 

After a few moments when they regained their strength and breathing, Ben took Rey in his arms and laid her down, both of them hugging each other in the bed, where he left his head on her perky breasts that gave off a soft scent of sensual white woods that he breathed with pleasure closing his eyes and trying to regain his normal heart rate. She mischievously said:

 

\- Imagine what it will be like tomorrow morning, when you can see me with the red lace thong


	21. Chapter 21

He awoke slowly, while the sun peeping through the window threw a bolt right into his eyes. It did not bother him, maybe because it was the only ray of light that his eyes saw from time to time. He was face down on the bed and did not feel like moving an inch. The solar heat that came in through the window made him fall asleep even more and he closed his eyes.

 

Unconsciously he moved his right hand on the opposite side of the bed and found it empty. He woke up suddenly. He turned his head to try to look at the woman who should be by his side and could not find her. Finally he sat up in bed, still naked, and saw a figure in the doorway. The figure approached slowly and standing in front of the window its outline became more visible to him. The sun bathed the female body and helped Ben see the sensual body of his wife covered only by a few tiny blurry red spots, but he knew how to distinguish them.

 

\- I told you that in the morning when you could see my red thong would be much better - said Rey.

 

But she could not say anything else because she was totally aroused watching the naked body of her husband. Neither did he give her time for another thought, since he suddenly got up and approached her with a voracious appetite. He took her by the waist and as he kissed her he pushed her back. She hugged him and instinctively stroked her man's broad, muscular back as she drowned in the kisses and caresses he lavished on her.

 

Gently, slowly, Ben unbuttoned her bodice and pulled it aside so he could play with his wife's breasts. He caressed them, kissed them and revered them as much as he wanted while she moaned with pleasure. Ben went slowly down to her abdomen, leaving in his wake a path of kisses and arabesques that his mischievous tongue drew. He reached the far south, where he carefully stripped Rey of her little red garment.

   
He knelt before his wife and tangled the esbelt leg in his neck, he introduced his tongue and fingers into the woman he loved. Rey's legs trembled with passion and happiness, but she tried to hold her ground because she did not want to stop feeling Ben's love for a second. When he retired, he was covered in sweat and that added, if possible, even more sensuality to his beautiful body and Rey, without a word, took his hand and guided him to the room adjoining the bedroom.

   
In that room, which had been decorated at the request of the bride and groom, there were beautiful flowers and a huge grand piano. Rey, took her husband to the piano and without hesitation asked him to make love there, and he did not hesitate a moment. Without wasting any time, he helped her sit on the piano, laid her down carefully and took her there. He took her wildly but also with great sweetness. Rey knew that only he could love her like that, with that conjunction of feelings, with tenderness and animality at the same time. She was exhausted but still not satisfied, she would not be satisfied until she could receive her man on her lips and mouth.

 

That's why she took him and savored with ecstasy the member of the man she loved. Ben felt inside himself a fire that burned even his thoughts and feeling the urge, once again he penetrated his wife and he painted her white from the inside. Completely exhausted, they embraced and kissed countless times. All that day, they were together, naked, alternating the music Ben gave his wife sitting at the piano, with sex and love. It was the only thing they wanted, the only thing that mattered to them. Spend their day together without even knowing that the world outside the room existed.

   
The next day they left for Greece, the gift of Oma for the newlyweds. Ben had not forgotten what Melanie had told him and was upset by what he knew, but nevertheless, being with Rey, when he held her in his arms, or when he heard her voice, he knew that his heart was melting. She had power over his being and he was not sure he wanted to change that.

 

Rey had made a mistake, but he, too, had mistakes. He thought he had no right to judge her ... but at the same time he knew that he would not be at peace, at least not as long as the truth remained untold and piercing his soul. Maybe he would never be at peace. He despaired for not knowing what to do. He decided that it would be best to wait a little and try to clear his mind before making a decision.

 

Rey felt a great shadow falling on her heart. Yes, of course, being married and having spent such wonderful and erotic hours with Ben filled her soul with happiness, but she was very aware that all her marriage had started when she was still not totally honest with her husband and worried that when he found out about her past actions, he will hate her and reproche her lack of honesty towards him.

 

Precisely because of that, she decided that it would be best to clarify things with Ben as soon as they landed in Greece. If things between them were going to end, then they would end at once. It was not what she wanted, of course, but it would be better to lose it all at once and not extend her suffering for months or years. She thought about what would be the least painful way to present the news, and although there was no subtle way to do it, she would try to find the words that would help her husband digest what he would hear.

 

Upon landing, they went directly to the hotel where they would stay and left their things there. They went down to the lobby, and immediately went to the beaches. Barefoot, they walked hand in hand by the seashore. Every so often they kissed with reverence because they loved each other and were happy. Rey however, had the bitterness clutch on her chest. She was afraid to speak and at the same time she needed to do it.

 

The fear came from knowing that if she spoke, she was at risk of losing the man she loved most in the world, and on the other hand, she needed to talk to him, because Ben deserved her to be honest. They stopped in front of a rock reef that gave a beautiful view of the transparent sea. The cool sea breeze hit them and the sun bathed them with their warmth, and she decided it was now or never.

 

\- Love ... I have to tell you something.

 

Ben tensed. At last the events were presenting themselves and there was no turning back. He tried not to show her nervousness or his anxiety and remained perfectly still waiting for her to say what she had to say.

 

\- I wanted to tell you this before we got married, but we never had the chance to be alone to talk quietly. - She said trying to prepare him for the news - I know what I'm going to tell you is ... well ... unpleasant, but I hope you listen to me and let me explain how everything happened so you can understand me.

 

When he did not move or say a word, she continued.

 

\- I ... I went through so many things in my life that ... I do not want to justify myself but ... life was not easy for me and then I ... well, you know. I have told you about many events in my life that made ... - she breathed agitated without getting the words to flow.

\- Rey, just say it - said Ben anxiously.

\- Ben ... I ... I'm a murderer.

 

He did not say anything, nor did he move. He turned around as if to leave but stopped immediately. He returned to face his wife and without a filter he snapped:

 

\- Slut!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah I know guys..... bare with me. There a lot more comming. Good and some more bad. And be sure that Ben will pay for his dickyness


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some deep secrets are revealed!!

 

She still had a warm hand because of the slap she gave him. But her soul hurt more when she felt despised by her husband. However, she would not give up on her love or let the happiness that she had worked so hard to get vanish between her fingers.

Ben turned to leave, but felt Rey's soft hand on his elbow. She grabbed him so he couldn't get away. She gently prevented him from leaving and urged him to face her once more. Once they were face to face, Ben could glimpse with horror the product of his actions.

His wife's cheeks were flushed as if they were about to bleed and round tears that ran nonstop furrowed her face. He didn't need his full vision to notice. A void formed in the pit of his stomach and he was sure that if he could not contain himself he would vomit right there. He stood still trying to endure the physical and mental discomfort he felt at that moment.

 

\- Why weren't you honest with me from the beginning?

\- A thousand times I tried to tell you, but something always stood in the way.

\- Was it really that? Or was it more comfortable fooling the only stupid loser who saw you as more than a whore?

 

Now it was she who didn't filter her emotions and turned his face with a heavy hand again. That angered Ben and so he aggressively took her by the elbows and pressed her against him.

 

\- I should never have fallen in love with you! How was I so stupid to marry a prostitute?

\- I'm not a prostitute anymore! I'm as professional as you are and maybe a thousand times more! You have to let me explain ...

\- Explain what? That you are a filthy murderer and that you married me under false pretenses of a suffering woman?

\- They were not pretensions or lies! You know very well everything I've been through in my life. I would never fabricate so many aberrations.

\- Is that ... how could you? - He shook his head in disgust. He loved her, but he couldn't contain his anger.

\- You're not exactly an example of moral life Ben.

\- I know I'm a shitty man! But at least, I have my limits and I have never been a murderer. I never had the blood cold enough to get rid of a man like you did, from behind his back.

 

Rey let go of her husband's hands and stepped back in surprise at what she heard. Her face was blank and she could not fully understand what was happening. Shee felt as if she suddenly went into a horrible nightmare and could not wake up.

Every time she had imagined her marriage to Ben, she had dreamed of everything as beautiful as her mind was capable of imagining. She never thought that soon that dream would lead to one of the most horrible moments of her existence. She held her head with her hands as she backed away, feeling that her brain was about to explode.

 

\- And how do you know it was from behind?

\- I…

\- How do you know it was a man?

\- It doesn't matter how I know it, it only matters what happened and that you are a murderer.

\- Who told you?! - she shouted, obfuscated.

\- My ex-wife - Ben exclaimed feeling defeated.

\- Your ... ex-wife? - She pronounced the words and swallowed hard.

\- Yes. My ex told me what you did.

\- And what does that bitch know about my life? - she shouted angrily.

\- Apparently she knows the most important thing to know. You are a bad person

\- And what did your angel of an ex wife said about me?

\- Only that. That several years ago you murdered a man behind his back... like a coward. She tried to tell me more, but I had heard enough.

\- Your ex-wife doesn't know me, she doesn't know anything. Nothing! She, however, abandoned you when you needed her most. But even then you believe in her more than you ever believed in me. - Rey said sobbing

\- Beyond the resentment I may have for what she did to me, I have no reason to doubt her. In spite of everything she is not a liar.

\- And I am? - she asked hurt.

\- Since I've known you, you've been hiding things from me.

\- Because it's not easy for me to trust anyone! - she shouted with pain - And because in addition, you never let me talk, because there is always someone who interrupts. Because ... because someone always matters more than me!!! As I got to know you, I started to open my heart. But this ... This was too much to say just like that. I was afraid Ben.

\- But if you could ...

\- I was very afraid and now I see that I was right to be. It was precisely this that I did not want. Your repulsion, your distrust and your hate.

\- I don't hate you - he said sincerely.

\- But you don't love me either. At least not like you did before you knew everything. And love with conditions and reservations is not true love.

\- Why don't you put yourself in my place too? - Ben said sadly

\- You don't put yourself in my place, so why should I? . You only judge, without knowing by the way, how things happened.

\- What else do I have to understand? If Melanie told me everything ...

\- Melanie? - Rey asked with a frown.

\- Yes, Melanie. I already told you that it was my ex-wife who told me everything.

\- Melanie what? - she asked insistently.

\- What does her last name have to do with all this?

\- Answer me! - she said angry - Melanie what?

\- Melanie Warner ... that's her maiden name.

 

Rey covered her face where, without even noticing, her mouth had been opened by the shock of surprise. She hid her face in her hands and shook it in both sides as a symbol of denial.

Ben didn't understand at all what was happening. He made the effort to visualize the shape of his wife the best he could but only noticed that she covered her face with her hands. He could not see more although he frowned tenaciously.

Suddenly, he heard her sob and his soul squeezed inside of him. Even if he was angry with her, it didn't mean that knowing about her suffering didn't hurt him too. He approached slowly, after a few minutes during which she continued to cry more and more distressed, and stretching his arms Ben placed his hands on his wife's shoulders. She did not resist the intensity of the feelings that invaded her. She opened her arms to hug her husband's torso and there, she soaked his white shirt with her tears.

Noon found them sitting in the sand, next to each other, melted in a hug. They did not speak, they only breathed slowly in front of the ocean that had witnessed their confessions. Rey had taken a long time to calm down and feeling Ben's proximity had helped her, though she still doubted he would have forgiven her. Or worst yet... she doubted she had forgiven him

For his part, Ben had a thousand thoughts in his head at once. He was struck by the way Rey had been shocked to hear his ex's name, but he wanted to wait for her to calm down so he could question her about it. His heart was divided in two and at that moment, he didn't know what he would do about the future of his marriage, but he admitted to himself that Rey's claim was valid.

He had rushed to judge without putting himself in her place. In a corner of his soul he waited, he wished, for her to convince him of her point of view. He wanted it, because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. When he noticed that his wife finally left the sobs aside, he took courage to speak.

 

-What happened? Why did you get like that when I told you my ex's name?

\- Because I know her.

-How? Where do you know her from?

\- I know her, because ... because Melanie Warner is Madame Butterfly's real name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor dumbass Ben... His comeupance is around the corner


	23. Chapter 23

Ben couldn't even understand what he had heard. He was sitting there on the soft white sand, his wife was next to him. He felt her small, silky-skinned hand on his, where the veins that passed through it pulsed blood at very high rates.

He could not help it, the emotions that invaded him were inexplicable, confusing and made his blood pound in his arteries and temples. Rey was just as confused and emotional as he was, she was hurt, and a sense of betrayal and emptiness invaded her.

On the other hand, she felt the urge to calm the man she loved because she felt his distress, so she took his hand and sheltered it, letting the beats resonate between them. After staying a moment absorbing his response, she decided to speak.

 

\- I'm sorry I was the one to tell you, but you need to know the whole truth.

\- All the truth? Pfff! I don't even know if I want to know. What's more, I don't even know what that word means.

\- Ben, please try to understand what I'm going to explain to you.

\- You ask too much of me, my head doesn't understand any of this.

\- Just listen to me please.

\- Rey ... I'm trying ... but ... You are a murderer, my ex-wife was not content to ruin only our marriage, but now also ruins yours and mine. Rey, I don't want to hurt you, but I don't know what to think or feel.

\- Our marriage is not ruined ... at least not yet.

\- What do you mean?

\- I mean that if you let me explain how everything went ... maybe you can forgive me, or at least understand. And then maybe I could also forgive your distrust.

 

Ben felt a dagger piercing his heart, a premonition stirred him. Something dark appeared in his future. He didn't feel like talking. But neither was he in the mood to spend the night chewing and regurgitating what broke his heart.

He wondered if Rey was right. That is, would it be possible for an explanation, a word, to calm his agitation? Would he be able to set aside for once in his life, his pride and stubbornness, and listen open hearted? He didn't know. He didn't know what to think or what to do.

It only occurred to him that he lost nothing by listening and lost everything that was important to him if he did not. So he decided to do it and leave the rest in the hands of fate. 

He massaged his temples for a few seconds and tried to breathe deeply, slowly and trying to quell his nervousness to some extent. He noticed that his pulse was decreasing in speed and, gaining some serenity, he took the initiative:

 

\- Before you start with your explanation ... There are certain things ... Certain questions I should ask you.

\- It's okay. What do you want to know?.

\- I beg you to answer each question as honestly as possible.

\- I will. - Rey said keeping calm.

\- When did you meet Melanie?

\- I already told you. When I had to quit my job as a babysitter and had left the University, I was pregnant, desperate because my boyfriend had left me and I had nothing to eat. She, although it seems ironic now that she interferes with our marriage, saved my life. And my daughter's ... at least for a while - she lowered her head sadly.

\- Which means that damn woman became a prostitute right after leaving me.

\- I don't know, I just know what we live together and how she always helped me. For me ... she was my best friend for many years. When I met her in the square she had been working as a prostitute for a while, but she never told me that she was divorced, nor that she had had a child. I don't understand why she would hurt me like that ... wanting to ruin our marriage. But tell me: you didn't recognize her voice when you called to ... to hire me?

\- No. When I called the first time I was so absorbed in my loneliness, my suffering, that I didn't even pay attention. Then, I think I didn't care who I was talking to, I could only think of having you.

 

She blushed and a flutter of butterflies occupied her stomach. He continued in a low voice, as if coming out of a cave, expressing the dark thoughts he came to after a long silent thought.

 

\- She must have recognized me. My voice. And then she confirmed my identity, when I left my name and address so you could meet me. The damn snake knew everything from the beginning. That damn depraved bitch.

\- And to think that I did everything for her. - Rey admitted with pain.

\- What do you mean? - Ben asked surprised.

\- The man I killed ... I killed him for her.

 

Ben felt his temples explode again. And one more time he tried to massage the area waiting for the trick to work ... and maybe ... he could recover his serenity. But this time he failed, it was simply too much for him and his heart.

He had just discovered that the woman he once loved was a despicable being who had probably cheated on him since she met him. Ben even thought Melanie was determined to ruin his life with the woman who had helped him feel the desire to love and share his existence with another being again. He tried to recover as best he could, took a deep breath and continued.

 

\- What do you mean by that?

\- Remember ... I told you ... that in my teens a man ... had abused me?

\- Yes

\- That man was obsessed with me since I entered adolescence, and when he had his chance he abused me ... but that did not stop him.

\- What else did he do? - Ben asked alarmed.

\- Abusing me was not enough for him. From the moment I left my mother's house and until I met Melanie, he was following me, watching and ... and one day he wanted to attack me again. But Melanie didn't allow it.

\- How?

\- He pretended to be a client to meet me. She noticed in him a strange attitude and she felt suspicious, so, although I was in the house, she denied me. That man was enraged and without a word began to beat her and almost disfigured her with his violence. I heard the screams and since I knew Butterfly ... - Rey stopped a minute - that is, I knew Melanie kept a gun in her desk drawer ... I got to where they were struggling and fired at that monster without thinking. He collapsed just like a statue would. It was so horrible honey! - Rey couldn't help breaking into tears.

 

Ben hugged her tightly. They remained there, sitting on the sand and hugging each other, but both needed more than that to comfort each other. That is why he put a strong arm under his wife's knees, lifted her from the sand and settled her on his lap. He hugged her again because he wanted to absorb the tremor that crying produced in Rey and so he could reassure her.

Without hesitation, she pressed herself against her husband's chest and surrounded his neck with her arms. There were many confusing things that needed to dissipate from his mind. However, Ben knew that he could not set her aside. Rey was a woman whose life had been tremendously unhappy and if she had made mistakes they were all for a just cause.

He considered that he should not be the one to judge her, but that he should be the one who dedicate himself to make her happy from now on. He hated himself for even considering making her miserable at one point. He hated his temper and for the first time, he blamed himself for what he had lost in life thanks to his self-pity.

He admired his wife more than ever for her resilience, for her generous and patient heart, for opening herself selflessly to love, despite having been hurt. He felt selfish and pathetic. He knew that he should ask forgiveness, with his words and with his actions. Ben was aware that it would take a long time, and perhaps more tears, so both could live in absolute peace. He could not imagine another way.

He was willing to do anything, to change, to die and be reborn just to see her happy. For both of them to be happy. Obviously they would have to talk much more to understand, forgive and reconcile their past lives and strengthen the one that was right in front of them. That life they would form together,with love and understanding. 

Ben moved her a little from his body so he could face Rey. He brought his face close to his wife's, until the tip of his nose touched the tip of her nose, and without separating them, he gently matched both pairs of lips. It was a soft kiss, almost innocent, like the first kiss in adolescence. A kiss full of apologies and forgiveness. Of understanding and love. When he finished, he didn't pulled apart at all and whispered almost touching his wife's mouth:

 

\- We still have a lot to say and a lot to listen to, but now I only think about making love to you.

 

She did not answer, only managed to receive Ben's warm breath on her rosy skin. The sensation of that deep breathing on her skin made her sigh and felt how each nervous end of her skin ignited a spark of unexpected heat. She raised her hands from her husband's neck to the back of his head and thus urged her man to meet her lips again.

This time the kiss was intense, strong and sensual. They both opened their mouths to caress and tangle their tongues. Rey, who was still on Ben's lap, could feel his heat, his hardness, which ignited her own fire and she thought she could burst into flames at that moment.

Almost as if guessing her thoughts, Ben carefully turned his body so he could place his wife on her back in the sand and skillfully, with his hands, he walked the path from the smooth thighs to his wife's underwear, which went down as fast as lightning, and she quickly got rid of them by harmoniously moving her legs.

While they were still savoring their mouths, Rey unbottoned the shirt that hid her man's strong chest and climbed down nonstop, to the pants she quickly pulled off. Without asking, she invaded with her hand the intimacy of her husband and there she played with his erection , until she felt she needed even more. So she lowered his underwear, but only what was necessary to leave him exposed and ready to go. To enter her.

And he didn't make her wait. He penetrated her while he distributed his kisses to one side and the other of her stylized neck. She enjoyed, groaned and stirred as she asked him not to stop, to love her hard and without rest. Ben obeyed and it was so much what she received that she stretched her legs to open them as much as she could. Then he took her wrists and placed them above his wife's head in a dominant and erotic gesture while penetrating her deeply and quickly.

She shouted his name and begged more and more. Shee released her wrists and placed her hands on her husband's firm and tempting buttocks. Full of passion, she buried her fingers in her husband's flesh and accompanied with rhythmic movements the erotic jerks during which Ben deposited his white essence inside her. Only the sea witnessed his passion without limits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fear not!! Ben is trying to mend his wrongs but.... it ain't that easy. His due punishment will be unexpected


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben starts to pay in unexpected ways. Don't hate me

Walking very slowly, they returned to the hotel suite. There they ate, loved each other and talked about many things. They spent hours and hours together between confessions and passions. Both had a lot of pain stored in their chests, that prevented them from being absolutely happy, but at the same time they trusted that being together, knowing that they loved each other, would give them the patience to go through the healing process they needed.

There were many things that Ben needed to solve, facts that he didn't know yet or that he knew halfway through and that he wanted to unravel in order to know what his actions would be. Rey also had much to solve, and there was still something to say, something that her husband should know because he would change his life forever. 

And this time she wouldn't wait for someone to get ahead of him, he couldn't allow it to happen again. This time, it would be she who broke the silence.

They found themselves in front of the exquisitely decorated table that had been placed in the living room of the suite. They had brought dinner, the waiter served the plates and left them alone to enjoy a quiet and romantic night by candlelight. They tasted the food, smiled and held hands across the table. Ben's thumb gently stroked his wife's wrist.

 

\- I was thinking about many things - he said softly

\- What things?

\- About what you told me about yourself. About what has happened to me in life and also about the future.

\- The future?

\- Yes. Ours as individuals and as a couple. There are many things that I still don't understand.

\- For example?

\- Melanie's attitude. Her past actions ... and the present ones. I don't understand how she pretended to be your friend and now she wants to hurt you. I don't understand why, knowing that I was your client, she pushed you to spend time with me ... and I even suspect that she was already exercising her "profession" during our married years.

\- I am also confused my love - Rey said stretching out her free hand and placing it on the hands that were intertwined.

\- Truly?

\- Yes of course. I also can't imagine why Melanie, after we went through so many things together, and the help and friendship she gave me for so many years .... now she wanted to ruin my wedding with you. The only thing I can think of is ...

\- What thing?

\- She's jealous.

 

Ben released his wife's hands and leaned back in his chair. A gesture of irony mixed with pain appeared on his face. He was silent for a second and lowering his head said:

 

\- I do not think so.

\- Why not? It is the only almost logical explanation I can find.

\- No. If she was jealous, she wouldn't have asked for a divorce so many years ago, after leaving me for becoming a burden for her.

\- And how would you explain this then?

\- Simple. Melanie is a sour bitch who only wants the suffering of those she hates. Because nobody can convince me that she doesn't hate me. It's that pitiful, but that true. She hates me, so she wants to take away everything she knows that makes me happy.

\- Maybe but ... it's hard for me to believe it Ben. This is not the Melanie that I met, the one that helped me, the one that accompanied me during the hardest moments of my life.

\- You never saw in her any attitude or words that made you suspect her? Something to tell you that she is a liar? Really?

 

Rey was silent. Now, after the last events, she realized that what she thought she knew about her friend ... former friend ... was a great facade that she had assembled with skill.

Rey began to remember so many things that she had told her, that she had entrusted her with... and reproached herself for being so credulous. But how could she guess it? Melanie never gave her reasons for suspicion. 

Melanie behaved kindly, affectionate even. She was sweet and a good companion. She had taken her out of the street and while encouraging her to prostitute herself, Rey concluded that at that time it was the only possible way out. But now that whole theater was crumbling and Rey realized with regret, that she had only meant a profitable business for Melanie.

 

\- Rey, did you ever suspect anything? - Ben said interrupting her thoughts.

\- Never ... until now.... I am starting to tie up ends.

\- What do you mean?

\- Is just that ... I never distrusted when Melanie told me her story, her past. But now ... I don't know what to think anymore.

\- What did she tell you?

\- When I met her she was just starting to work as a prostitute independently.

\- What do you mean?

\- She had been working alone for a short time, without being accountable to a regent... a pimp I mean. She told me that she had managed to get rid of him, that he was a bad guy that used to beat her up, that he took away her money and so many other horrible things. When I think about it, God knows how she got rid of him! The point is that, when I met her, she proposed I became a prostitute for the agency she had just set up. She also told me ... things about her life.

\- Such as? - Ben said swallowing hard to hide his anger.

\- Actually, she never told me that she was married or divorced, she just told me about her ex. She said this man mistreated her, and he was the first to push her into prostitution. But obviously it was all a big lie.

\- So she told you that I hit her? Maybe I should have fulfilled her fantasy - Ben growled with obvious anger.

\- No, don't say that. You're not like that - she said stroking his hand again.

\- And what else did she tell you?

\- Well, not much else, she was quite reserved. Whenever I tried to ask her something else, she avoided it with the excuse that everything was too painful for her and that she didn't want to keep remembering the past.

 

Rey stopped talking and looked at her husband carefully. There was a lump in her throat when she noticed the anger on Ben's face. Her hands trembled given her own nervousness. She had something else to say, something more to confess but she was afraid of the way he could react to her words.

Rey knew that the moment to speak was now or never, and what she had to say could not be ignored by the man she loved. Above all, because he was interested in the matter more than anyone else. Rey took courage and as if to prepare the ground for the battle, she asked him some questions.

 

\- Love, after the accident, did you see her again?

\- After the accident I couldn't see her anymore - he said bitterly.

\- You know what I mean honey.

\- Only when we sign the divorce papers.

\- And did you never talked about something else before divorcing?

\- Something like what?

\- I don't know ... about the house, about the distribution of goods ... about your son.

\- I kept the house. The judge granted it to me because she left without notice. As for the money, I gave her an amount and she seemed satisfied. All she wanted was to get rid of the blind man who hindered her and her plans to be a whore on a large scale. And our son ... you know ... Jeremy ... - he couldn't finish the sentence

 

Nor could Rey speak for the grief she felt. At that moment she faltered again, but she could not back down. Her husband needed to know. Then Ben spoke softly.

 

\- When Jeremy lost his life in the accident, half of my life left me.... it went with him.

\- Then... it didn't leave you - Rey said bravely.

-What do you mean? - he replied alarmed.

\- Your son didn't die... I know him... Jeremy lives with Melanie.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get the tissues bitches

Nothing could have prepared him for what he had just heard. For almost twelve years Ben carried a thorn that didn't let go of his heart. And now he felt an oppression that could only be described in one way. He felt hate. Much hate. Hate that it was mixed with sadness, betrayal and disappointment.

He felt a bitter and metallic taste that ran up his throat and sat on the back of his tongue. A long stitch stabbed him in the stomach and soon he could feel the taste of the bile that escalated until it could get out.

Rey was alarmed to see him so distressed and wanted to accompany him to the bathroom of their suite but he, with a single gesture showed her that he did not want her to follow him, and left on his own to empty his stomach. Rey, alarmed, wanted to enter after him, but Ben had locked the door, so she waited outside, stuck to the door and repeating words of encouragement, love and a thousand apologies to her husband, even if she didn't know why she apologized for.

Maybe for not speaking before, maybe for speaking now. Rey stuck her ear to the door trying by all means to know what was happening on the other side. What she heard tore her heart. She heard her husband vomit and then have a fit of caugh that was caused by the stomach upset. But then she heard the worst, she heard him cry. He cried in a choked, disconsolate way.

A cry that mixed tears, coughs, sore groans, grunts full of fury and suffering. She couldn't stand it or allow it. She looked for something to help herself with and after checking her purse she found her hair pins. She took apart one and with a small wire she rummaged and rummaged until the bathroom door lock gave way.

What she saw when she walked through the door gave her the same effect of a direct punch to the pit of her stomach. With eyes full of tears, she covered her mouth with one hand and entangled her other arm in her abdomen, bowing as if her belly ached.

Ben was lying on the bathroom floor, in a fetal position, with a swollen face and blood-red eyes full of tears. Rey slowly sat down beside him and stroked his head, tangling and unraveling her fingers in the silky black wavy hair. This affectionate gesture caused him to break once again and covering his face with his hands and bringing his knees even more against his chest, he cried inconsolably.

She barely raised her husband's head with her hands and placed it on her lap, accommodating herself to sit well on the floor. Ben withdrew his hands from his face and instead, placed them on his wife's waist, while he hugged her and took the opportunity to hide his tearful face in Rey's abdomen.

She did not reject the hug, but quite the opposite, kept him close to her to be able to caress Ben and utter sweet words of comfort while almost without realizing it, she swayed him slowly like a baby, back and forth in a soft lullaby.

Little by little he calmed down. He sat up slowly and tried to dry the tears that still wet his face, others had already dried leaving fine salt trails on his cheeks and around his beautiful brown eyes whose amber glow shone thanks to the moisture that had bathed them a few minutes ago. Those eyes in which the darkness fell twelve years ago and now expressed the pain of a broken soul.

Rey helped him sit on the floor next to her. She looked at him for a few moments when her husband's eyes remained low and sad. None spoke a word because to tell the truth, none knew what to say. They were both there, in silence and she only managed to do what she felt at that moment. She reached out and linked her hand to her husband's, giving it a little squeeze.

Rey wanted him to feel that despite everything that was going on, she was there, with him, supporting him and containing him as she had always done since she met him. She also wanted, rather, needed, that he knew how much she loved him. Now more than at any other time, she needed Ben to know that she adored him with all his heart.

 

\- I hate that I was the one who told you my love, but I could not silence that information. I just ask you ... I need you to know that I did it because I love you and ...

\- Enough ... no need to apologize - he interrupted in a low voice.

\- I need to know ... if you hate me for telling you.

 

He did not answer. He just placed his free hand on Rey's neck and brought her close to him, gently touching her lips, and then, little by little, increasing the depth of the kiss. He stroked her face as she pushed all her passion into that mouth of thick, fluffy lips that caressed her. It was a great relief for her to know that he didn't hold a grudge on her, but she was even more relieved to hear him say the right words.

 

\- I can't hate you. I love you too much to have such dark feelings towards you. Besides, I have no reason to hate you, you just were honest.

\- Yes, but I thought maybe ...

\- No and don't think about that. Here - he could hardly speack - The only one who always lied to me was that ... that damn woman I once called a wife.

\- I never knew ... that the boy was your son ... I never knew ...

\- I know, I know. Quiet now ... shhh ...

 

He kissed her passionately and she gave herself up completely. None knew how to explain it, but in their mutually shared, mutually desired kisses, they found the answer, the calm in the face of any storm. In those hot kisses they unwrapped and let off steam. They got up from the floor where they were sitting and as they took slow steps they undressed, arriving already naked at the edge of the bed, where they fell, their bodies together knotted in a single feeling and wet with desire and passion. They loved each other all night without being able, or wanting to avoid it.

When they finished, joined to each other, merging into a hug that lasted all night, they talked about everything they needed to talk about. Rey told him what she knew about Jeremy and how she never knew who was the father of that child she had seen grow up and that only after knowing that Madame Butterfly and Melanie Warner were the same person had she drawn her conclusions.

Ben listened attentively, occasionally shedding a tear when he heard his son's description, remembering all the time he dreamed him, waited for him, cried for him. He was inundated with pain when he noticed all the years he spent alone, loving a memory, while the infamous woman who conceived that child and then snatched him from his father, enjoyed watching him grow and develop while Ben cried in solitude.

Dawn almost surprised them and they were still loving each other. Neither of them slept, only a timely caress crossed the silence from time to time. And occasionally Ben would cry again. Rey wiped the last of those tears that dared to run down her husband's cheek with her hand. He breathed slowly for a long time and without knowing why, the words began to come out almost in a whisper from his soul.

The night they reconciled, at Oma's house, Ben had told her part of his youth, when he was rejected and mistreated by his father and left to study and live in Argentina. Now, containing the emotion, he told her of his return. How, when he started studying at Juilliard, he had met two people who would change his existence forever: Hux and Melanie Warner.

With Armie he felt that he had known his soul brother, with Melanie he felt that he knew the love of his life. And so it was, at least until fate separated them. Until she separated them. They met at a gathering in honor of the new students and couldn't take their eyes off each other all night.

She was sensual and cheerful and had all the boys in love and pleading for her attention. But she could not part with the mysterious magnetism of that exceptionally tall boy, thin but muscular and with deep dark eyes that were so inciting. They danced, she skillfully, he with effort, but none noticed their weaknesses or virtues. They were bewitched by each other and nothing else existed.

At the end of the evening they kissed with passion and became inseparable. After six months of relationship they married surprising everyone. A year later, they finished their specialization studies, he in piano and orchestration, she in lyric singing. They looked for an apartment, cheap and simple since it was the only thing they could afford at that time and they set out to decorate it and dream about their future.

She dreamed of being the best lyric singer in the world. He dreamed of composing the great opera whose main heroine would be played by his wife. Together they dreamed of starting a family. Two months after moving to the apartment and after making love on the mattress that was still on the floor, she announced that they were expecting a child. He never thought he could feel that way.

Since he knew that he had put life in Melanie's womb, his existence faded to the background and he only breathed for that son. The greatest love of his life, his reason, his blood and his flesh. He never thought of loving someone like this and although he was devoted to his wife, even she paled in front of that baby who would come to fill them with happiness.

When Jeremy was born, he felt he could explode with happiness, he felt invincible and vulnerable at the same time, fearful and brave, strong and weak. The only time he could replicate those feelings was while making love with Rey. And after a year of pure happiness, it all ended on a rainy December day.

Jeremy was sleeping in his baby seat in the backseat of the car. Melanie and Ben fought. Finally, he was getting clients in the world of cinema and the success he wanted so much, while she hadn't even had the auditions she so longed for. Her career was absolutely stopped and even more since she became a mother. They fought because she considered that he spent too much time working and did not attend to the family as expected.

They argued because they no longer made love frequently, because she was apathetic and angry all the time, because he was always late and tired. The excuses to fight were always there and the excuses to love each other were missing. And so…

Darkness. He could still hear in his mind the noise the tires made when biting the side of the road. He could still remember the smell of dust and blood mixed together, while sharp slashes of pain pierced his head.

Huge tears ran through Ben and Rey's eyes. She tried to regain calm and urged her husband to do the same. She encouraged him by taking his hand and making him perceive her frank smile. After an affectionate kiss of gratitude Ben sat on the bed and lowered his feet until they touched the carpet.

 

\- I think the time has come to return home - he said in his low voice.

\- Alright.

-I can't stay here knowing that my son is alive.

\- I get it. Do you know what you'll say to Oma?

\- No, I still don't know what I'll say.

\- And do you know what you'll do?

\- I don't know what I'll do either. At least, not everything I'll do

\- What do you mean?

\- I do know what I'll do with Melanie.

\- What will you do?

\- I will kill her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Benny boy! this was a tear fest


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know..... this is a more hopeful and fluffy/sexy chapter. Perhaps not exactly what you expected guys but I needed a more lovey dovey story to keep my sanity

Rey was worried. She had been since that dawn in Greece when her husband warned her that he would kill Melanie. At first she said to herself, rather, she convinced herself, that Ben only spoke figuratively, but as the days went by she noticed the changes in her husband's attitude that caused her alarms to activate. Now that they were back in the United States, they were once again close to that woman.

Rey cursed her. She still didn't know if she hated her or just resented her, but the truth is that she cursed her. While she could not forget all the good things Melanie did for her for many years, she could not ignore the fact that this infamous woman had turned her life into a constant nightmare for the man she loved with all her soul.

And just for that, she had already become her enemy. But no matter how big her anger towards her ex-friend was, she couldn't let Ben get his hands dirty with her. She had to do something to prevent that from happening, but she still didn't know what.

And to make matters worse, he had left the house a few hours ago and had not yet returned. Rey feared the worst. She was about to call on her husband's cell phone for a millionth time, when he and Armie appeared at the door. Hux immediately noticed the woman's angry look and anticipated any questioning.

 

\- Don't get mad.

\- Oh of course not! The fact that my husband disappears for eight hours is what makes me happier than anything! - Rey said ironically.

\- Rey, let him explain - Hux asked trying to soften the situation.

 

Rey looked at Ben, who was now settling in the couch.

 

\- Well? - she said waiting for an answer crossing her arms in front of her chest

\- Thanks for everything Armie - Ben said - I'll call you later.

 

Hux said goodbye to both of them and left. Rey was still staring at her husband waiting for an explanation but he remained silent.

 

\- Ben Solo, I'm still waiting for an answer.

\- Come, sit next to me.

\- No. Tell me what's going on.

\- I'll tell you when you sit.

\- Well, tell me - she said protesting as she sat down.

\- I have made a decision my love - he said putting his arm around his wife's shoulders and pushing her towards himself in a tender hug.

\- What decision? - she asked somewhat scared.

\- I need to see my son.

 

She pulled a little from the hug and stared at him with a sweet smile drawn on her face. Then she approached very slowly and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. He pressed her against him and kissed her forehead.

 

\- I think that's great treasure - she said and repeated the kiss on the cheek - If you want, tomorrow we go together to see him.

\- No.

\- Why not? - she said surprised

\- Because I want to see my son.

\- I don't understand you.

\- I want to see him ... using my eyes, not my hands.

\- But how...?

\- I made a decision today. That's why I called Hux and asked him to accompany me to the hospital.

\- What? Are you...? - she said scared.

\- I needed to talk to Dr. Ronald Peterson. He is the best ophthalmic surgeon in New York.

\- Surgeon? You mean that ... - Rey stuttered as she sat up a little so she could look at him well.

\- Yes.

 

Rey didn't let him to say anything else. She pounced on Ben without giving him time to react. She filled his face with kisses, hugged him tightly and kissed him again passionately, as she repeated a thousand times that she loved him madly. He laughed at such a show of affection, but allowed his wife to kiss him and touch him as much as she wanted.

She changed her position, straddling him. He laughed heartily again because he understood what his wife was trying to achieve and the truth was, that he was delighted to know that she was trying to entice him. Truth being told, Rey never needed too much work to entice him. There was so much chemistry between them that just rubbing their skins together already started their engines.

Rey, without losing sight of her goal, began to tear off her husband's shirt, while gently kissing his neck. Between kisses she inserted her tongue in his mouth, so she could absorb the taste of her man's pink skin, while her hands explored Ben's chest and abdomen. He tilted his head back, resting it on the back of the sofa, while he settled down to enjoy the attention his wife gave him. She was so comfortable in her control status that she begged her husband to remain perfectly still, while she decided what she wanted to do with him.

Rey knew exactly what she wanted and how she wanted it. From the kisses on the neck, she slid down. There, she released Ben's erection and settled down to face it. She took it in her hands and stroked it. Ben did the same with his wife's back and gradually reached for her buttocks, which he gently stroked.

She intensified her groans when she placed her husband's anatomy inside her mouth and sucked it up and down. He clenched his teeth, while trying to catch his breath, but she did not allow it. Diligently, she took the erection of her man in her hands and with it she stroked her lips, sticking her tongue out, from time to time, to take the taste. She apparently liked it very much because he could not quell a scream.

Or maybe, what made her scream was Ben's hand, that had traveled from her buttocks to deeper places and played with her moisture there. After enjoying her first orgasm, she seized her husband's mouth and tangled her tongue in his, realishing in that ecstasy a few moments. Then she regained the rhythm she was having before and once again placing herself on her husband's lap she began to gasp as he placed his intimacy between the legs of the woman he loved.

The entrance of her man made her thighs tense in a hot tremor. She liked having him inside so much, that she began to move her hips cadently. Ben's moves were slow, very slow. He wanted his wife to feel every inch of him come and go. She shivered. She was so turned on that she began to bounce on her husband's body with energy.

He accepted the speed increase willingly, because he felt his body was burning with a sexual appetite that only Rey knew how to calm. He took her by the waist to help the penetrations be strong and deep. She suddenly pulled her head back and gave a hoarse and throaty scream. This, instead of causing her husband to stop, caused him to go faster and he continued to push his body more and more inside of her.

Rey felt as she could go crazy. Her screams and pleas multiplied. Ben growled, moaned, gasped. She sensually placed her hands in her brown hair, which fell in her face in long wet and sloppy tufts. Rey emitted a long and torn scream when she felt the inside of her legs getting wet with the conjunction of warm liquids.

Lying there, distilling sweat on the couch, they both hugged, kissed and laughed. They were very happy. So happy that they were not afraid of the future. Rey looked at her husband smilingly.

 

\- If as you are, you have no problem finding my erotic spots, imagine when you can see me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No worries! Drama is comming!! I just needed fluff and smut


	27. Chapter 27

He never thought that his life would change so much in such a short time. He wondered why he had not done it before and then remembered that he had never had so much before to fight for , to live for, to see. He moved a little on the bed and in doing so got a little dizzy. He put his hands to his head and felt a strong stitch in the forehead.

Then he lowered his hands a little and placed them on the bandages that covered his eyes. He took a deep breath and carefully leaned back further in bed as if he could see the ceiling. He wondered if he could do it when the bandages were removed. Even the doctor had not talked to them yet and he and Rey were nervous about the outcome of the surgery.

He was nervous because now he needed his eyes more than ever. He needed them to see his wife, the love of his life, but also to see his son. His son. Finally, after spending years and years believing that he would never know what it would be like to have him with him, hug him, smell him and enjoy him, he could now do much more than that, he could also see him. Hopefully.

It had been a month since Ben and Rey had returned from Greece and immediately began preparations for the surgery, which included a series of tests and other medical procedures for him. The rest of vision he had during the day gave them high hopes.

But also during that month, Ben and Rey talked to their lawyer and told him that he should begin immediately with any procedure that was necessary to obtain Jeremy's custody, proving that Melanie was not a good mother for him, given her behavior.

A woman who lied shamelessly like her was no example to the boy. In addition, Ben could prove that the mother had hidden the existence of the child by passing him as dead after the accident, and that was already reason enough for any judge with two brain cells to grant him custody of his son.

But first of all he wanted to recover, in order to meet him, to be able to see him and thus get the young man to get used to him, to love him and need him as much as he needed Jeremy.

He was absorbed in his thoughts when the doctor and Rey entered the room. The doctor greeted him kindly and asked the rigorous questions about how he felt and things like that. Ben hurriedly answered each question because he was eager to know if all was well. Finally, after giving some detours that put Ben's hair on end, the doctor confirmed that everything was fine.

 

\- Technically everything is fine.

\- What do you mean technically? What's that supposed to mean? - Ben asked alarmed.

\- Don't worry - said the doctor noticing his agitation - I mean to say that, in terms of the surgical procedure, everything went well. Now we just need to remove the bandage, but since it's only been a few hours of your surgery, we still can't remove the bandages. We must have some patience so as not to affect the wound and let the inflammation subside a little before uncovering your eyes. It is advisable to wait at least two more days.

-More patience yet? To tell you the truth, doctor, I'm not famous for my patience - Ben said somewhat frustrated - But I will do what I have to do to be able to see. I have ... powerful reasons to wish that my eyes come out of the darkness.

\- And so it will be, if you do everything I recommend.

 

The doctor gave the last indications to the nurse and then left. Rey approached the bed, took her husband's hand in hers and laid her lips on his. In turn, he took her nape firmly but without hurting her to deepen the kiss. So they stood a long time, letting their love run free, putting in that kiss a lot of passion and tenderness.

When they broke the kiss they did it slowly, without any hurry, and they didn't distance themselves too much. Their faces were only a few millimeters from each other. They remained mesmerized while absorbing each other's breath for a few seconds, their mouths, which occasionally touched each other, began to whisper words of love that came from deep within their hearts.

Ben confessed to Rey without any shame, that at that moment, he would have loved to make love to her, but Rey with a flattered smile let him know that it was impossible ... although she also confessed that she wanted him too and needed to feel him on her body. But what mattered most was that Ben got well, to be able to recover that son, who regardless of the blood that ran through his veins, would be without any doubt son of both of them.

And how not to feel that way? She had shared many moments of his childhood that were denied to his father. But she didn't want to keep remembering with pain. Soon, they would be together and happy like the three deserved, without resentment, without losses, only with happiness.

During the two days that followed the operation, Rey took care of her husband with the conviction that a happy life was waiting for her. the man she loved and the boy that woud be their son.

Only one thing had bothered her lately. During those last days she had not felt at all well. But she tried to ignore the discomforts and continued to deal diligently with everything Ben needed.

That day she felt worse than ever, but since she was as stubborn as her own husband, she said nothing and tried to hide it from everyone. She could not be weak just the day it would be revealed if Ben would see again or not. She tried to compose herself as best she could and waited with her husband for the arrival of the doctor to remove the bandage.

The doctor took all the time in the world to cut the bandage. Ben felt how the urge to kill the doctor was going up his spine. He held back and breathed because he knew the doctor was doing the right thing. After spending so many years blind and having gone through a physical trauma such as surgery, they should be very careful with the light shock that his eyes could suffer.

Once the bandage was cut, the doctor began unwrapping the gauze gently. Rey, who was watching from the side, was breathing with some agitation due to the emotion, and in part, also to the deep discomfort she felt. She tried to calm down by doing some breathing exercises she had learned while studying at the university. Evidently, these nerves she felt, were much bigger than those she once felt during her exams.

The doctor finished removing the gauze. He set it aside. Two large patches covered Ben's eyes. The doctor, very carefully, began to peel off the adhesive tapes that held the patches in place and at the end, he told Ben that although he removed the patches from his eyes he should not open them immediately.

Once the patches were removed, the doctor checked the eyelids and around them for lesions or bruises. He found some areas still bruised but nothing out of the ordinary. It was then that he told Ben to open his eyes very slowly and let him know if he felt any kind of pain or discomfort.

Ben opened his eyes slowly. Rey held her hands together and inadvertently began to twist her fingers nervously. Ben finished opening his eyes and blinked a few times. He raised his head a little more and moved it from side to side alternating between the doctor and Rey. Then he left his head still, blinked once more and addressing his wife he said with a smile.

 

\- Hello my love. You look beautiful.

 

She could not articulate words, she only cried with a lot of emotion. She then approached Ben, and taking her husband's face in her hands she looked him straight in the eye. Those eyes that she had fallen in love with , because despite being veiled by the darkness, she could see within them a loving soul trapped that struggled to escape to freedom, to the light.

Rey kissed Ben passionately, careless of the doctor's presence. Suddenly, Rey moved her face away from her husband's, stared into his eyes for a minute and without a word collapsed to the side of the bed.


	28. Chapter 28

****

 

He felt a lot of heat on his face. While trying to get up, he also felt a lot of pain throughout his body. He touched his forehead and noticed that it was sweat that bathed him. He closed his eyes tightly enough to clear his head because he was somewhat disoriented, and then opened them again. He turned his head to the side and horror gripped him. He could not believe it. He streched his arms out to reach the woman who lay a few inches away him. The female hand was as cold as marble.

Ben woke up bathed in sweat. The nightmare had been vivid and terrible.

 

****

 

Gradually the days passed and the Solo family returned home. The doctor had told them that everything was going well with the surgery so they could continue with their life normally, although, as a precaution, he told them to take things slowly and that Ben did not expose himself too much to the sun, nor occupy his eyes to tasks that could exhaust them, such as watching television, using the computer or reading too much.

However, what mattered most to Ben was that Rey had passed out in the hospital and was reluctant to have the tests the doctor recommended. He was worried, because he saw her very weak, pale and with little appetite. But every time he tried to say something about it she changed the subject.

Ben knew well that doctors are the worst patients there are, but in this case, he didn't give a damn that Rey was a doctor. She was his wife. She was the most important woman in his life. He talked to Oma and Armitage about the situation, but they suffered the same fate when they talked to Rey. She dismissed their concerns by claiming that everything was a product of the stress that her husband's surgery had caused her . Nothing that a good rest will not solve.

Inside, Rey was scared too, but unlike the others, she knew what she had ... and knowing it made a lump in her throat. Rey saw a doctor in private, taking advantage of Hux accompanying her husband to a check with the ophthalmologist, and on the pretext of making some purchases, she escaped to the clinic where her trusted doctor worked. And he confirmed it.

Emotions flooded Rey and so did tears in her eyes. What was she going to do now with this news? The doctor comforted her as he could and explained the steps to follow. The more the doctor spoke , the deeper Rey's heart sank. She knew, being a doctor herself, what could happen to her, but that didn't lessen her anguish. Rey thought life was very unfair.

Just now that Ben had the possibility of a full life, just now ... this was happening. And that's why she decided not to tell her husband anything. At least for now, she thought, she had to hide the news. Rey knew that if she told Ben, he would go crazy and that could affect his vision that was still healing. She had to wait a reasonable time.

After going to the doctor's office, Rey went to the pharmacy and bought the medicines that the doctor had indicated. It would be difficult to hide them from her family, but she would have to think about something. Upon leaving the pharmacy, Rey walked and walked, slowly through the city streets, looking here and there as if the landscape was going to give her some kind of solution to her problems. After spending a few hours away, Rey returned home.

Upon entering the house Rey saw, Ben, Hux and Oma were waiting anxiously. They asked her where she had been and she excused herself again adducing she needed to buys some things. Ben could not help but notice that she wasn't carrying any bags, but he didn't say anything. He didn't want to upset her, but he wasn't going to stay calm and arms crossed either. Ben would have to find out what was wrong with his wife in another way. He could not avoid the pain that the nerves caused in the pit of his stomach. He was worried about what his wife might be hiding from him.

However, the days and weeks passed. Ben felt better and better, and his eyes learned or remembered things that, due to so many years of partial blindness, he no longer remembered or knew. Meanwhile, Rey kept looking for thousand excuses to take her medication without being discovered. Rey also recovered slowly and was grateful to feel more lively and thus better help her husband, who secretly kept trying to know what his wife was hiding, but without much luck yet.

One night, after spending all day remembering and learning new things, Ben and Rey decided to decline Oma and Hux's invitation to go to the theater. Ben felt that he had already seen too much for one day, as he let them know, and preferred to remain home resting. Rey, also looking for some peace of mind, decided to stay with her husband while their beloved grandmother and Armie enjoyed the theater evening.

Ben turned out the bright lights and lit only the small lamps that were on the living room's coffee table. He then offered a glass of wine to his wife, but she rejected it on the grounds that it took away her appetite and she wanted to have a good dinner that night. Actually, Rey did it because she couldn't drink alcohol because of her medications but tried to disguise the lie as best she could.

Together and in silence, they went to the kitchen, where they enjoyed preparing dinner together. It was one of their great pleasures, cooking together, even if they remained silent. It was a moment of great communion between them. Then, they set the table and enjoyed the food in silence, only looking up from their plates to give each other long glances across the table by the candlelight. Those glances said everything they felt. 

When he finished, Ben got up unexpectedly and handed Rey a velvet-lined box he had being hiding on their bedroom. She opened it and smiled when she saw the content.

 

\- I want you to wear it. - Ben demanded in a sexy low tone.

\- Ok - Rey said softly.

 

A few minutes later Rey returned to the kitchen, wearing a suggestive set of furious red lace underwear. The bodice, semi translucent, showed her nipples and the G-string showed everything else. On the other hand, the suggestive garters that held delicate fine stockings exposed her lean tonned legs, and her feet were wrapped in stilettos high as skyscrapers

 

\- And those? - Ben said pointing at the shoes.

\- These are my gift for you to enjoy - Rey said seductively.

 

Ben didn´t need anything else. He approached and expertly pushed her to the table where they had just had dinner, but from which, Ben, having planned everything, had already removed the dishes. He licked Rey's neck, while urging her to lie on her back on the table. Impatient, Ben got rid of the bodice and tasted her breasts as much as he wanted. Rey gently tempted him to go down. He was about to get rid of all the clothes but she stopped him.

 

\- The garters, stockings and heels stay baby.

 

Ben looked at her excitedly and brushed his hardness against her. Rey helped him shed all his clothes and asked him to penetrate her while she lay on the table, but he took her arm tightly and helped her off the table. She looked bewildered at the sudden movement.

 

\- Not like that - Ben said - Turn around.

 

And without waiting for an answer from her, he turned her around, urged her to bow down and entered her. Rey moaned loudly, but allowed him to keep going in and out of her body with burning desire, while she felt that her moisture ran down her legs and played with the stockings. Ben, really enjoyed his position of power and took her breasts to massage then and then, to squeeze them.

For a few minutes Ben did with his fingers the same thing his erection had done, but then he penetrated her once more. In a rough movement, he firmly took Rey's hair with one hand, while with the other he pushed her from the waist. She loved it. In that moment Rey didn't care about her husband's roughness, but rather was even more turned on.

Ben's thrusts were getting deeper, faster and faster until he finally let his creamy moisture run down his wife's face. She tasted it with her tongue and when he saw her, he kissed her mouth with passion, tasting himself on her.

After taking a shower together, they got into bed, hugging each other, still looking into each other's eyes. Since he had regained his sight, he wanted nothing more than to look at her. He loved her and thought he had never seen anything or anyone more beautiful than Rey. She was simply perfect.

They fell silent again, as they did during dinner, just contemplating each other. She broke the silence in the worst way:

 

\- Ben ... I'm dying.


	29. Chapter 29

This time they went to the doctor together. His wife's words had left him petrified and full of horror at the possibility of losing her. Ben could not allow it because he was no longer willing to lose any other loved one. That's why he wasted no time and immediately consulted with a trusted doctor.

When they arrived at the office they both looked nervous, Ben for fear of losing his wife and Rey because she knew that the doctor would rebuke her for not telling her husband what was happening to her. After a moment in the waiting room, the doctor sent them into his office and immediately noticed the fear on the face of both patients.

 

\- Rey, what brings you here? Have you felt sick again?

\- No, well ... sometimes. The truth is that since I am taking the medicines I have improved a lot.

\- Have you taken the pills as I instructed you?

\- Yes of course.

\- What I would like to know - Ben interrupted - is what afflicts my wife.

\- What? Didn't you tell him? - the doctor replied surprised, looking at Rey.

\- No, actually ... - she said looking at her hands entwined in her lap.

\- Actually she just told me that she will die - Ben interrupted again - Is that true?

\- Maybe - said the doctor with the look of reproach fixed on the young woman.

\- What do you mean maybe? - Ben asked without understanding.

\- She can die if she stops taking the medication, or if you have strong and sudden emotions, like fear, anxiety...

\- But what the fuck does she have? - Ben said losing the little patience he had.

\- Rey suffers from Pre-eclampsia. What happens is that if her blood pressure gets too high ...

\- Wait! - Ben cut him - Pre-eclampsia? But ... For her to suffer from Pre-Eclampsia she ...

 

He could not finish the sentence because he suddenly realized what he had just heard, and what it really meant for him, for his life and especially for his future. He could not contain the burst of joy that filled his chest and regardless of the presence of the doctor, Ben hugged and kissed his wife with all the love and passion he was capable of.

However, suddenly, he also realized that not everything was rosy and Ben felt the danger his child and his wife were in. Terror took hold of him again. He felt his eyes burn as they filled with tears, but he didn't let them fall because he noticed just in time that he had to become the rock on which his wife leaned in order to overcome their problems.

Ben looked into Rey's eyes. She cried softly and he gently stroked her arm to comfort her. Both listened together to the recommendations that the specialist gave them, but neither could stop thinking about the consequences of what they heard.

They quietly returned home and shared the news with the family. Everyone reacted similarly to Ben. They were filled with the joy of knowing that a new member was approaching the family and yet they also experienced the fear of losing that baby or losing Rey as well. Since that day it was everyone's task, even if they didn't express it out loud, to take care of Rey and that baby that was on the way.

 

**SIX MONTHS LATER**

 

During the months that passed the family had been dedicated to taking care of Rey and her baby. The pregnancy was already well advanced and care should be extreme, since the mother's discomfort increased and became a risk factor for the baby. However, among all the hardships that could exist, that day they received news that brought smiles to all the members of the family.

After tons of bureaucracy and patience and tenacity on Ben and his lawyers part, the judge had finally granted him full custody over Jeremy, so there were no more excuses that Melanie could use to deny the boy the right to meet his father. The judge had reviewed every evidence, every paper. So Ben knew that Melanie managed to get a false death certificate for the child by asking the help of an unscrupulous doctor, who by the way, had become her lover while she and Ben were married. It was also this man who promised her wealth and glory if Melanie ran away with him, but in reality, he only turned her into a prostitute and used her.

Yes. Melanie had been coaxed by that guy. Towards the end of their marriage, the lack of love for Ben and his lack of attention towards her, had pushed her into the arms of a monster, which not only faked Jeremy's death, but also took advantage of Melanie's thirst for fame. But none of that counted for Ben anymore.

Finally, after so much waiting and longing, he would meet his son and that made him forget all the past pain, there was only hope for the future in his chest. He was really happy.  
Ben's lawyer and Melanie's had agreed that both should be in court for her to hand over to the child. When Ben arrived, he only saw her waiting and feared she had a new trick to snatch the boy from him, but Ben decided to get out of the car and talk to her before drawing any conclusions. Only out of respect Ben greet her with a simple "Hello" to which she replied in the same way.

 

\- And my son? - Ben asked quickly.

\- He is at home - she answered simply.

\- Why? You knew perfectly well that today my son had to go home with me - he replied angrily.

\- I know. He is at home sleeping. He is not used to getting up so early and it seemed cruel to wake him up. He has been through a lot lately, knowing that you exist, that he will now live with you and not with me. I wanted at least to spend the last day with him as normally as possible. The child is not to blame for what I may have done.

 

Maybet she was right, Ben thought. Even if he hated that woman, his son didn't have to suffer the consequences of his parents' actions.

 

\- If it doesn't bother you, we can go to my house to pick him up. When we arrive he will be awake and I can say goodbye properly - Melanie said.

\- Okay - Ben said simply.

 

And saying that, they got into Ben's car. They drove for a few minutes in silence, but in a matter of minutes Melanie showed her true colors.

 

\- I heard that Rey is pregnant.

\- Yes - Ben replied simply. He didn't want to start a conversation with that woman, let alone about his family.

\- Wow! It seems you like to get prostitutes pregnant.

\- Shut up. - Ben said clenching his teeth.

\- If I remember correctly, I was already mistress of my future pimp when I became pregnant with Jeremy. Wow! Having a man as powerful as him... but the baby had to be yours unfortunately!

\- Salty bitch ... shut up if you don't want me to kill you! - Ben yelled as he appealed to all his concentration to stay on the road.

\- Jade, I mean that slut you call a wife, she did have a good idea hooking up with you.

\- She? You pushed her to meet me!

\- Because I knew she would melt you, that you would fall in love with her in a second. But I thought she was smarter. I thought that when Jade noticed that you were blind, it would disgust her and she'd leave you with no remorse.

\- Only a woman with no heart would do that, like you did. But you failed.

\- I did it out of pain, for spite. I wanted you to be abandoned, rejected as you rejected me. But Rey, she acts like an innocent angel, then becomes pregnant and earns redemption. And now, she gives the final stab, deprive me of my son.

\- She doesn't want to steal your son. The child will live with us because he is my son. And by the way, what do you care? You never loved Jeremy.

\- Of course I love him!

\- Oh please! If you wanted to, you could have given him a better example. You had no need to prostitute yourself. You were married, I earned well enough to keep us both. You always blamed me for not achieving fame, and when you got pregnant you blamed the baby for being a hindrance to your supposed future of glory. But the crude truth is that you were always a mediocre singer. You graduated without honors and nobody was interested in your voice. You became a prostitute because that is your vocation. Because you are a fucking slut. - Ben said resentfully.

\- Whore or not, your new woman is not much better than me, and that spawn she carries in her womb does not deserve to be born.

 

There was no concentration that served Ben and without a word, he held the steering wheel with one hand and with the other tried to hit Melanie's face, but regretted it just in time. His hand froze in the air. He tried to calm down once more, while she, frightened, took her face with both hands. Melanie stayed with her face hidden for a few seconds and Ben could hear her breathing deeply. Ben reproached himself for having had a violent reaction, but he couldn't contain his anger.

 

\- Look Melanie… - Ben started saying.

\- You will always be mine - she said softly with her eyes down

\- What? Don't start with that. I…

\- You will always be mine. - she said firmly and looking up at Ben - Mine or nobody's! - she shouted angrily.

 

Before Ben could react, she struggled to take the wheel of the car. He tried to prevent her from taking it but could not. The car began to wobble from one side of the road to another until it stepped on the side of the road and slipping through it rolled to the side and stumbled multiple times.

 

\-----------------------------

  

When Ben regained consciousness he tried to map the state of his body. Aside of some bruises, cuts and areas that hurt, he could see that he was complete and had no serious injuries. But he was horrified to see the state in which Melanie was.

He got out of the car's twisted irons and tried to rescue her, but the door on her side was locked. He broke the glass window with a stone and touched her. The woman's hand was full of blood. A memory came back to his mind and frightened him. The nightmare. He shook his head from side to side as he sank into horror. He closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. He could not let himself be overcome by adversity.

He reached into his jean's pocket and took out his cell phone. After several attempts he called 911 and gave his whereabouts. The ambulance arrived relatively quickly and assisted him, but nothing could be done for Melanie. The internal wounds had caused the bleeding in her abdomen and chest to take her life.

Ben thought about his son, that he should now be with him more than ever. He called Hux to tell him what had happened and ask him not to say anything to Rey because fear or nervousness could compromise her condition.

 

\- Where did you go Ben? I was calling you!

\- I had an accident, please don't tell Rey. I must go pick my son up , Jeremy and ...

\- No! You need to come immediately! - Hux interrupted

\- Why? What happens?

\- Rey is hospitalized. The baby must be born now or it will die.


	30. Chapter 30

He tried to remember how he had managed to get to the hospital, but could not find any memory in his head, no image was present. But it was not important either. What was really important was that he had arrived and he was now in the waiting room. He paced back and forth as if that repetitive movement could help calm his nervousness. It only served him barely, because his body was shaking.

When he arrived at the hospital, Rey had already entered the operating room for a c- section. The whole family was gathered in that room with pristine white walls, where there was no other being but them, just waiting for news. Grandma Padmé prayed as she held a rosary of crystal beads between her fingers. Armie on the other hand was sitting in an armchair from where he could observe Oma and his friend, as if watching them with tender protection.

And poor Ben, had almost marked path that his footprints drew in the hallway of so much coming and going. His hands were shaking, his forehead showed the sweat that cooled his skin and his eyes showed his tiredness, his pain and his despair.

About an hour had passed when the doctor appeared through the outer door of the operating room. Ben stopped his walk from side to side and looked the doctor straight in the eye, as if he could read the news in his gaze.

 

\- The baby is here - the doctor said simply.

 

Ben took a deep breath to ease the lump in his stomach. But he immediately asked the question that was burning his heart.

 

\- And my wife? How is she doing?

\- After fighting the blood pressure rises she had during the procedure, we managed to stabilize it enough to remove the baby from the womb. When we were closing the wound, the heart monitor showed us an arrhythmia, and before we could avoid it, Rey suffered quite a severe abdominal bleeding. We tried to drain the blood out but it was useless and the bleeding was a lot. We couldn't cauterize without seeing, what we were doing. We had to open a second time and bypass the uterine arteries until they could be cauterized ... but we finally made it.

\- So you mean ...?

\- Rey survived the procedure, but her condition is very serious.

\- But it will heal, I mean, she will be ok, right? - Ben said with a trembling voice.

\- We still can not risk a verdict, but we will take all the necessary precautions for her to get better. We'll do everything we can Mr Solo.

 

The doctor turned around to leave but immediately turned back and looked at the desperate husband with a slight smile. Ben looked back at him with some curiosity.

 

\- You can now go to the neonatology room, Mr. Solo, your daughter is waiting for you.

 

Ben's face lit up with an unusual smile on it. Those who knew him knew that he was not given to great emotional demonstrations and that generally his face expressed rather, exasperation, boredom and even anger ... even when he was calm and happy. But that day his face showed all the happiness in the world because he had the best reason that a human being could have to show happiness. He was a father.

A daughter was waiting for him to love her and he had no intention of making her wait. He practically ran out, after asking how to get to the room and when he finally arrived, he stopped for a moment to catch his breath. A nurse met him.

 

\- Looking for a baby sir?

\- Yes, mine - Ben said unsuspectingly.

\- First time father, right? - The nurse said with a smile.

\- No, but as if I were.

\- What is the mother's name?

\- Rey Solo.

\- Bassinet 16 - said the nurse after reviewing a file with the data of newborns.

 

Ben entered the room and put on the blue overalls and all the equipment that corresponds to normal hygiene standards for the protection of babies. He looked anxiously at the bassinets and suddenly saw it right in front of where he was standing. "Baby Girl Solo" was read on a sign in the headboard next to number 16. And wrapped and tight in a pink blanket was her.

Ben approached quietly, as if he was afraid to make some sudden movement and scare the babies. As if some sudden movement could wake him from such a beautiful dream. He was finally right next to the little crib and looked at his daughter deeply. He couldn't contain the tears and he let them run free and in heaps on his cheeks until they reached the corner of his lips that continued to show a wide and beautiful smile.

He looked at the girl, studied her from head to toe. She was a beauty, just like her mother. Chubby, glowing, with very white skin and very pink little cheeks. She was almost bald, but some dark-colored hair was here and there. He guessed that it would turn black eventually. Ben couldn't see her eyes since she was asleep, but he supposed they would be dark like his or Rey's.

After contemplating her for a while, Ben asked the nurse if he could lift her and when she consented, he took her in his arms. The feeling of holding his baby girl in his arms was the best feeling ever. He then gave her a kiss in the forehead and another in the soft pink cheek and hugged her as much as he could but very carefully.

 

"I love you," he whispered as he smelled her soft hair.

 

Grandmother Padmé and Armie watched the beautiful scene from the glass that allowed them to observe from the hallway. They let Ben make the most of that moment, but after waiting for a reasonable time they called him outside the room. They didn't want to take him away from the girl, but they wanted to inform him that the doctors moved Rey to a room in the intensive care wing, and now he could see her for a few minutes.

Leaving the girl in the care of Grandma and Hux, he went to his wife's room and when he opened the door his heart squeezed when he saw her unconscious and connected to monitors. A nurse, who was doing the last checks on the devices and leaving everything in order, noticed Ben's expression when he saw his wife.

 

\- It looks worse than it really is - she said to calm him down.

\- I know - Ben said - She is a doctor and once explained all this ... but it is very different when you are patient or family.

\- It's ok. Just talk to her, touch her, let her feel you're here. Be patient, she'll wake up soon and everything will be fine.

 

And saying that, the nurse walked out of the room. Ben approached the bed where his wife rested. He kissed her forehead and then her lips softly. Ben whispered "I love you" in Rey's ear. He pulled up a chair, sat down and took his wife's hand in his and spent the remaining minutes of his visit watching her silently.

The next day, very early in the morning Ben was already in the hospital. Hux was with him. Grandma Padmé stayed in the house to rest a little more since at her age she got tired too quickly. As soon as he arrived, Ben asked about Rey's status. She was stable. Ben almost ran to the nursery because his daughter needed him.

Naturally, and as if he was used to doing so, he took the girl in his arms and with the bottle that the nurse had prepared with infant formula, Ben fed his daugther. It was a sight to see them together. He, a giant of six plus feet, wide and muscular, in love with a plump baby that fit completely in her father's forearm.

After talking with the pediatrician and checking, with happiness, that everything was fine with his daughter, Ben asked permission to take her out of the nursery. He needed the girl to meet her mother. He wrapped her well in a pink blanket and carried her in his arms to the room where his wife was. Ben approached Rey, who was still unconscious, and carefully placed the baby on the mother's breast and then placed Rey's hands on the girl.

 

\- C'mon darling! Wake up! - Ben said insistently but quietly - Wake up for you to enjoy our daughter.

\- Her name is Rachel - Rey said in a weak voice while slowly waking up.

 

Ben almost pounced on his wife and the girl, but held back just in time and instead of hugging and squeezing them both, he simply kissed Rey's hand repeatedly and then her forehead and cheeks. They looked at each other lovingly.

 

\- I love you Rey. I love you both. - Ben said looking at the baby - You two and Jeremy are the reason for me to exist and I can't wait to live my life with the three of you. Now I know we can be happy. Actually, I think I knew it since I met you, since you gave me life and light back.

\- I love you Ben. I think I could've never changed my life, study and fall in love sincerely if I had not met you.

\- You took me out of the dark.

\- And you to me.

 

** THE END **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The birth of the baby was very personal for me, cause this is exactly what happened when I gave birth to my second baby. Hope you liked this one


	31. Epilogue

Ben ran down the stairs of the house and before reaching the last step he was already shouting:

 

\- Rey! Where did you put my tie?

 

There was no answer

 

\- Rey! Reeeeyyyyyyyyy!

\- Whaaaaaaaaat? - Shouted Rey mischievously, surprising him from behind.

\- Where is my tie?

\- You don't have one - she said taking him by the waist and kissing him on the back of the neck.

\- Oh it's true! - He said stroking the thin hands that belted his waist - And my black suit?

\- You have none - she said kissing his neck once more.

\- Then I'll have to wear my jeans and a shirt.

\- Hahaha! Well, treasure we're just going to the park with the kids. Why did you want to dress up?

\- Because if my memory does not deceive me, today is the anniversary of a certain couple's marriage - he said turning around to face his wife.

\- Mmm ... A couple? What couple? - Rey said almost hanging from Ben's neck.

\- Hux and Oma ... they finally decided to marry and stop having sadomasochistic sex secretly - Rey gently hit his shoulder while laughing happily - What do you mean "what couple"? Don't you remember that we were married two years ago?

\- Of course I remember. - She said affectionately giving him a deep kiss.

 

Rey moved to step aside but Ben did not allow it. He took her waist tightly and pressed her against his body, while deepening the contact of his lips. The vehemence of the kiss made them stagger and they hit the wall. Ben was about to slide his hand under his wife's skirt but was rudely interrupted.

 

\- Dad? - said a curious 14-year-old teenager who was holding a wobbly baby of a year and a half.

\- Yes? - Ben asked touching the corner of his lips and trying to hide his red cheeks.

\- Dad, Rachel and I are ready.

\- Ok, great - Ben took the baby in his arms and she happily tugged his ear - Give the baby's bag to mom and get in the car, we're leaving.

\- And Nana Padmé?

\- She'll meet us in the park.

\- And Uncle Armie?

\- Him too.

\- And why were you squeezing mom against the wall?

 

Ben stared at him for a few seconds, then looked at Rey who was holding her laughter as much as she could and then looked at Jeremy again.

 

\- Get on the car boy - he said.

\- But I saw that ...

\- To the car!

 

Jeremy handed the bag he brought to Rey and resigned himself to his father's mandate. Although he had been living with her for only two years, he already loved Rey as he once loved his mother. He had known her since childhood and had pleasant childhood memories with her. As for his father, at first he felt intimidated, but Ben knew how to gain his affection, since, upon discovering that his son lived his heart opened towards him with unknown vehemence.

Since Jeremy was born, he had been Ben's great weakness and for him, Ben was willing to do everything. Jeremy loved and admired his father, so much that he studied piano because he wanted to be a musician and composer like him.

After arranging the basket with food and drink, and the girl's toys in the trunk, Rey placed the seat with the baby and Jeremy jumped into the backseat and getting on the car they left for the park. There, they met Hux and grandma Padmé. They had a wonderful day, with talk, food, games and many funny anecdotes, such as the rip of Uncle Armie's pants while playing soccer with Jeremy and Ben, which he only noticed when he wanted to talk to a sexy young woman and she yelled " Degenerate!".

Laughter, jokes and especially joy and love abounded in this family. At dusk they all said goodbye lovingly and Ben, Rey and their children returned to the house they had bought to live together. This did not mean they forgot Oma. They got a house smaller and cozier than Padmé's mansion, but very close to it to be able to keep an eye on the beloved grandmother.

The children had great space to play, which the devoted parents always dreamed of. Rey thanked God for recovering from her surgery and, although the doctor confirmed that she could no longer have any children, life had given her a beautiful young man who became her son as soon as they met again.

That afternoon they arrived at the house somewhat tired but very happy. Rey served her children dinner while Ben finished accommodating what they took to the park. Then Ben joined them and among the four reigned the usual affection and conversations about dreams, projects and daily events. That night they celebrated Rey as she had finished her specialization in endocrinology and in two weeks she would start working at the city hospital.

Jeremy retired to sleep as soon as he finished dinner because he had school early in the morning. Together, Ben and Rey, they laid the baby girl to sleep. Poor thing was exhausted after playing all afternoon. After checking that their children were resting, they had another glass of wineand then they washed the dishes together, without saying a word. They enjoyed it, in their own way, in silence, with deep reverence and peace. It was their time of day to be together, sharing something so common and everyday, but for them it was their space, their ritual. At the end, with equal quietness they went up to their room.

Rey entered first and stood in front of the window. The room was dark and the moonlight slipped through the glass. Ben entered and stood by the door, while he carefully observed the ethereal figure of his wife outlined by the moon's gloom. She was beautiful As beautiful as when he had met her. Neither the past few years, nor motherhood had made a dent in her figure.

He approached her without turning on the light and took her by the waist, first gently and then hugged her tight. Together and illuminated by the stars, they enjoyed a gentle swing from side to side, like a timid dance that put their bodies in tune. He had buried his majestic nose in Rey's neck to absorb its fragrance. After a few moments, she turned to see the face of strong features. Yes, Ben's face was a masterpiece. 

Ben's hands traveled to his wife's back and lowered the zipper of the dress Rey was wearing. Then, also with his hands, Ben lowered the straps and the dress fell to the floor. Rey, with a gentle movement of her feet kicked it away. Ben and Rey kept dancing slowly. With skilled hands, Rey took off Ben's blue shirt and slid it down his broad shoulders. She took the opportunity to make the same path with her tongue.

Ben shuddered, hugged her and eagerly kissed her neck. Carefully, but still caressing her and kissing her, Ben moved her to the bed. There, he removed the underwear that covered his wife and seized her femininity, savoring her. Rey gasped, but opened her legs as much as she could, because she wanted and needed him.

When she received everything she needed, Rey sat up and urged her man to get on the bed. She carefully took her husband's erection and rubbed it several times, and then put it in her mouth, she went down on him as long as she wanted, stopping for a few seconds to take a breath and massage him and then put him back on her mouth.

Ben grabbed the sheets of the bed and clenched his teeth to contain his need. In a wild movement he took Rey by the hair and forced her to kiss him and they both played with their tongues and burned with passion. After the kiss, Ben told Rey to get on her knees and standing behind her, with the help of his hand, he masturbated Rey. 

Rey didn't contain her moans and different words that indicated very well what she wanted from Ben. And surrendering to his queen, he granted her what she was looking for.

Holding her by the waist, Ben penetrated Rey and after remaining a fraction of a second still, as if to settle well, he began the attacks alternating the slowness with the speed, while his restless hands caressed the generous breasts, the abdomen and the back of his wife. After taking her several times in that posture, Ben withdrew, sat on the bed and put Rey on top of him.

She took control. Alternating the speed she controlled her husband's entrances on her body, while drawing Ben's face towards her to kiss him, caress him and whisper erotic words to his ear. He rested his sweaty forehead on Rey's shoulder, but it was too late for both of them, she moaned uncontrollably and Ben couldn't stop the fierce discharge that spilled inside Rey and down her legs.

A last shudder shook them and they lay down without energy, but full of love and pleasure, next to each other. They hugged and kissed a thousand times. They felt the luckiest couple in the world, the happiest. And with those beautiful thoughts, they slowly fell asleep in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a million for reading, leaving comments and kudos!!! I apologize for the typos and the sentences that made no sense. Unfortunatly I wasn't able to beta this work, but I hope my next ones are better. Hope you keep reading my stories!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Our journey beggins!! Hope you got hooked, it will get intense babes!! Give me your thoughts but bare in mind this is just a product of my imagination not canon star wars therefore things will be veeeeeery different. Love you!! 
> 
> My Twitter: https://twitter.com/FassTDriver


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